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Happy Monday. It feels like it's January 2nd here. You know, the day you exhale that sigh of relief all the holidays are finally over and with them depart all those desserts that had been shoved at you from every direction.
If I'd had to smile and be gracious through ONE more conversation that began with 'I know you're eating healthy and losing weight but....' being delivered as something sugary was handed to me.. well, I'm not so sure I'd have maintained mature graciousness much longer. I regifted more baked goods this weekend than 'Feed the Children'. But yes, I ate some of them too.
Saturday morning I walked to the Farmers Market. What is it about getting veggies from the FM that makes me want to cook 'down home southern'? I reflected on that as I prepared turnips and greens and a huge pot of pinto beans. The only thing missing was cornbread and fried potatoes. More food redistributed; I just can't make a small serving of anything like that.
I am going to google recipes for turnips besides just chopping them up & boiling them in a pot. Hopefully one that will remove the odor as my husband HATES the smell of them cooking. Otherwise, I'm going to have to get an electric grill for outdoors.
Of one thing I'm certain, 'for a good time call Bella' will NEVER be scrawled on a bathroom wall. When left to me to pick, I'm not your gal.
A Business Colleague Friend and her husband came out Saturday (to do business but she tries to pretend it's social) and we went to the local vineyard for a glass of wine.
They were OUT OF CHEESE.
This kind of thing happens to me ALL the time. In hockey lingo, this weekend was my 'hat trick'. I've been to the Waffle House and they were out of eggs. I've been to a Steak House and they were out of steak sauce (after telling me they made their own) and now a vineyard with no cheese despite a menu listing it served and prepared five different ways.
To make it even more amusing, they would not let my BCF smoke ON THE PATIO.
She was livid. I was amused. Maybe it's the new me that finds things like that funny or maybe I was just wasted. Apparently the 'old me' was the one with the hollow leg because only a couple of sips of wine left me light headed.
Then again maybe I felt it was a fair and just payoff for bringing me a blouse for my birthday. Yes, I'm an ingrate. I should have more gratitude for the gift of a garment that I'd have to lose another 50lbs to fit into. Especially one delivered with 'oh.. I'm sorry.. I thought you'd lost more weight than you have...'
Something else to regift.
When watching her nicotine withdrawal ceased to be amusing I suggested she put a cork in it. The bottle, that is. We relocated to MY patio with the more casual of smoking rules. I put together a 'homemade' cheese & cracker tray and helped her finish off the bottle so they (she and her husband) would finally leave as I'd had enough of pretend socializing with her.
However, I was uncomfortable driving by then so the rest of the things I'd planned that afternoon didn't happen.
I spent at least an hour yesterday digging with a trowel after hitting something 'hard' with the shovel on first strike. Because of the age of our town I'm always pulling the most interesting things from my backyard when I dig; it's hard to not give into a full excavation. I've pulled bottles hundreds of years old from there. Not rare or valuable but still interesting. Yesterday's archeological dig yielded an old fireplace brick but it was still fun to dream.
My little dog was sick last night so she didn't sleep. And if the baby doesn't sleep ... NO ONE sleeps. She kept hopping off the bed and heading toward the back door (with me following and playing doorman all night) but then 'nothing'. Back up on the bed, off again. Then she'd just lay on the floor. She finally threw up twice this morning and seems calm. She may need 'worm' medicine because she'll eat bugs when I'm not looking; waiting for the vet to respond. But this went on ALL night so I'm sleep walking today.
During my 'is she finally going to settle down?' moments I'd continue to work on my goal of emerging from the Witness Protection program meditation. I wasn't able to repeatedly make the 'shell' depart; it was obviously a one time thing. So instead I try to envision images of the 'me' I want to stick around. As I'm a literal person I see printed words first; flash cards like 'confident', 'calm', 'serene' precede the 'picture'. It's a process but I'm still working on it and will continue.
Thank you all again, my friends. Your kind comments and good wishes this weekend were wonderful. I'm truly blessed to have your wisdom and support.
Bella
Diet Calendar Entries for 13 May 2013:
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1231 kcal
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Fat: 35.23g | Prot: 89.67g | Carb: 148.41g.
Breakfast: Fage Total 0% Greek Yogurt (Container), Quaker Old Fashioned Oats. Lunch: Tomatoes, Cucumber (with Peel), Onions, StarKist Foods White Albacore Tuna in Water. Dinner: Whole Milk, Turnip Greens, Turnips. Snacks/Other: Cooked Pinto, Calico or Red Beans, Schwan's Golden Fruit Blend, Cottage Cheese. more...
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 Comments
Your BCF sounds a little plastic a.k.a. phoney. Was there any correlation between her size and that of the birthday blouse? Just wondering if she was regifting something she received but didn't want. And the fact that she would even say something like "you didn't lose as much weight as I thought you had"... she should be put before a firing squad without the blindfold! How rude and insensitive! I hope your doggie feels better. You can buy deworming meds at the pet store - or at least I'm pretty sure (it's been a while since I had a dog and even longer since we needed the meds). Anyway, I hope it's nothing serious or complicated. Here's hoping you get some sleep tonight!
13 May 13 by member: evelyn64
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Evelyn - I love you so - I almost wrote that and yes, it really seemed like something I think I'd seen her wear before. That'd be ok - I buy clothes from the thriftstore all the time but at least they fit or are 'close' enough to be a 10lb goal weight. She was very sick last year and lost a lot of weight so makes it a point to remind me all the time how 'hard it is to put the weight back on' and you know, I AM sympathetic to people who have that issue, I realize it is a problem for them as much as for me but ... meh .. enough about that. Who needs a firing squad.. I'll just put her on a no smoking patio again, LOL. Yep, I'll prob go to bed w/the chickens tonight; hope babydog stays on her roost!
13 May 13 by member: FullaBella
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That Feed the Children line was hilarious lol! Your dog sounds so cute and i hope she feels better soon.
13 May 13 by member: SELouisiana
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Sounds like this friend of yours is not really a friend..she should know you by now...and gotten you a nicer gift or none at all..Hope you had a better nights sleep..I think you have done a wonderful job of losing and your attitude is awesome...:O)
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I hate having to pretend like that, I'm too old for it now and sounds like you are too but you got through it. I won't say what I think of the gift and her comment that went with it - FS doesn't like swear words!!! Hope mushyface is better today and that you get a good night's sleep.
14 May 13 by member: sarahsmum
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When I hear about friends like that it makes me happy that I don't have to deal with any of that bs anymore. What a horrible horrible thing to do and I'm sure she knew just what she was doing. People like her usually do. I don't bother with people like that anymore and neither should you. No more pretend. If it's not real than go away. I don't need it. My acting days are over. lol Happy Tuesday!
14 May 13 by member: chattycathy1955
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HAHAHA FEED THE CHILDREN! Too good. I hear ya about being gracious. people around me are finally getting it! BUT MY MOM! HAHAHA! I am nice, keep saying, no thank you, she knows the struggle I've had (she weighs 95 pounds!) and she won't shut the F*$&#@ UP! I finally blow, and get mad, not very mad, and she replies, well, all you had to say was NO THANKS. OY! Ya gotta laugh it off. (forward) OH where do you live, I want to move! You live in walking distance to a farmers market AND your near a vineyard, despite them being out of cheese SHAME ON THEM! HA,. (....forward), aww, poor doggie, POOR YOU! I've been there, then I fall asleep, and I wake up to a pile of bark, I felt so bad. So, the worms.... I have had to deal with this the last 3 years, living in woodsy area. I found out, the heartworm med I give her (they are different) covers a lot of worms! YIPPIE! I for sure give her that now every month just to cover the basic worm, roundworm, hookworm, and whipworm. Tapeworms aren't covered, they look like maggots when they pool, ya gross, but sometimes it doesn't show up in the poop cause they have to break off. Tammy was getting tapeworm, just from soil etc, gave her the runs, but no worm has ever made her puke, unless she ate a dead bunny when my back was turned. (and she has). ... Well, my writing isn't so eloquent as yours, but you get my drift. HEHE Hope your pup is well and you have emerged from the Witness Protection program to tackle the week ahead! Here I goo to hit the week:-)
14 May 13 by member: Lizzygracemusic
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I admire that you are aware of all the feelings that come up. Trying to deny and/or stuff the feelings has kept me stuffing my mouth with food & drink all these years. I'm gonna try to take a page from your online book and express my feelings more... good/bad/pleasnt/unpleasant... get 'em out there!
14 May 13 by member: Sweet Ce
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Thanks everyone. Yeah, the BCF is inherited; my husband started this biz so they are more 'his' friends than mine so you get the drift; without the biz association she and I would likely not socialize so it's definitely a plastic friendship; and she probably feels the same about me. I esp dislike it as this is the biz deal my husband did last week that we had to agree to disagree on; I think they are taking unfair advantage of the 'deal' and he allows it because I can't say 'you're too sick to realize they are screwing you over' BUT right now it is what it is. Enough of that. Am happy to report Mushy was much better by yesterday evening and sans one potty trip at midnight we all slept very well (yay!)
14 May 13 by member: FullaBella
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I have a BCF and every time we all get together DH gets furious at the way she only comes around when we have business or church obligations to work on. I blow it off - not sure why because I use to really want to be her friend since I was from out of town and needed her to "like" me. She really acts genuine when we are together but then I don't hear from her until one of our obligations come up. It is really hard to find that perfect someone to call BFF isn't it? So sad - but probably why we all do so well online because we only see our best efforts and not the bad in each other. Can you tell I'm trying to catch up? I've been really lazy the last few days. So are you keeping the birthday blouse as inspiration? No? Dust Rag?
14 May 13 by member: Neptunebch
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@Neptune - I don't know - I never had that many friends, period. My life as a workaholic has put almost everyone I know into BCF category; even my IRL 'friend' really started as my customer and it's a highwire act balancing it all. The fate of the birthday blouse still hangs in the balance ~ I have entertained everything from hanging it on the wall beside my treadmill with a meat cleaver through the heart of it to regifting it to her on her birthday and playing dumb & innocent. Well, if I'm going to be that 'catty' I guess I should go get some milk, aye?
15 May 13 by member: FullaBella
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