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Honesty is the best policy!
Not that I didn't already know that, but once again it shines through. One of the great things for me of being on this web site, is the ability to journal whatever I want without the fear of being criticized, misunderstood, outcast, etc., i.e. it's my journal & I'll cry if I want to (or rant or complain or boost, but you get the picture!). Finding all of you, my wonderful FS friends, has added so much to my life & given me support and advice and a shoulder to cry on, in a way that my face-to-face friends haven't (partly because I'm not as open with them which is partly because I don't think they'll "get it").
But, I've been thinking more & more of at least trying to be a bit more open about my struggles with my DH, & last night on our "date night", I decided it was time to at least attempt to broach the subject. And, it went well... better than well! There's a lot of history there (which I'll spread out over upcoming journals as I might overload the system trying to get it all in here!). But the short version is that I met my DH about a month after my sister passed away, almost 30 years ago, after losing her battle with skin cancer. I've always felt that she sent him to me from heaven to help me through my grief... and falling in love certainly did:)! But, throughout her illness & upon her passing was when I got into the throes of binging and using laxatives, over-exercising & over-restricting my calories after, to stay thin. So, while he thought he'd met this healthy, thin, in shape, together girl, he really had one struggling with an eating disorder & wallowing in grief. Fast forward a bit to finally coming clean with him (which I ashamedly didn't do until I had the ring on my finger) which lead to some more than interesting arguments/therapy/should we or shouldn't we go through with this times. This included not only his concern for my health but brought to light that it was very important to him to have a partner who was thin & in shape, and that never having struggled with his weight (in his younger days, he had to be sure to eat enough or he'd lose weight -- so annoying!) & being able to eat whatever whenever, he just didn't get it.
Because of this, I've for the most part, kept my personal food & sugar issues to myself (which as you may know really subsided once I had my sons & only recently reappeared after them leaving for college & me starting menopause). (Can't believe I haven't caused that overload yet!) So, now that I've set the stage, last night was the night & while I just began to scratch the surface with the discussion of overeating sugar through the holidays, reading more & more about the addicting aspects and negative health consequences of sugar & going through the elimination diet to identify other potential food intolerances, he was very tolerant & accepting, not judgmental & expressed some concerns which I assured him was why I was going through this process. And, while I'm still not sure he really gets it -- in his words, "I have a love/hate relationship with food" -- it has brought us closer & opened a door that I've been afraid of whats behind it for too long! Hence, my conclusion, that not only is honesty the best policy, it's also the healthiest & most rewarding!
Enough for today, so I'll start my day in prayer --
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
And go into this one day or one meal or one moment or one bite or one emotion at a time, praying, breathing, logging, posting & expressing my way through! xoxox
Diet Calendar Entries for 06 April 2013:
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1517 kcal
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Fat: 55.99g | Prot: 104.80g | Carb: 160.79g.
Breakfast: Lactose Free Plain Yogurt, Raw Almonds, Strawberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Blackberries. Lunch: Olives, Plums , Artichokes (Globe or French) , Super Food Quinoa Salad, Mixed Salad Greens, Healthy 8 Chopped Veggie Mix, Roasted Red Peppers, Avocado Vinaigrette Dressing. Dinner: Barefoot Chardonnay, Olive Garden Herb-Grilled Salmon (Dinner). Snacks/Other: Honeycrisp Apples, White Bean & Basil Hummus, Fresh Vegetable Tray, Go Raw Spirulina Energy Bar, Harmless Harvest 100% Raw Coconut Water. more...
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1856 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 15 hours, Bicycling (fast) - 15/mph - 1 hour. more...
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