Ruhu's Journal, 07 April 2013

Up early again, but feeling well, having a good weekend & ready to start my day in prayer --

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

As you'll read about below, I'm particularly focused on taking today, one day, meal, moment, bite or emotion at a time and will pray, breathe, log, post & express each along the way.

I have a new experiment (yes, Dr Ruth is back at it!) for tonight. As many of you know, my personal struggle is primarily with sugar. After eating sugar free for the most part for the last 3 months, I've decided I'm now ready to try adding back the occasional treat. (The thought of never eating sugar again (as much as I've tried to focus on just not eating it each one day or meal) has been bothering me & just doesn't feel right.) I've been working with a health coach through this process & have decided that tonight is the night (its a weekend of "nights" as Fri night was the "night" for opening up to the hubby). So, today I'll purchase 1 slice of carrot cake (my personal fav) which I'll have for dessert after dinner. It will be the guest of honor at my table & I plan to eat it mindfully & enjoy each bite. In the mindful eating way, I'll eat the best bites of it first without distractions, evaluate when I've had enough & stop when I'm pleasantly full. It will indeed be a test, but one that I think I'm ready for & eager to see if having the occasional, special sugar treat is a way that furthers my efforts to eat & live healthfully. What I'm searching for is something I can live with long-term, although I know it may not be forever & could also need tweaking along the way (rather than some of the quick fix, crazy ways I've tried to deal with my eating/sugar issues). There is quite a bit of controversy over if its better for those of us who have sugar issues/are sugar addicts to abstain from sugar completely or if that sets us up for the inevitable binge, or to have the occasional, planned sweet item. What I'm hoping is that by knowing that occasionally I can have that special sugar treat, it will become my new habit & replace the old sugar binging/overeating one. In looking more deeply into binging & listing out the pros & cons for me -- sounds like a silly thing to do, but was actually quite helpful -- it came to light that planning for & anticipating eating or binging on sugar was part of what temporally feels good about it. Doing that in a healthy way will hopefully make me feel less deprived. Another "pro" was those first few bites which truly are the most tasty & satisfying. (Can you tell I've been really delving into what sugar means to me?!? -- Again, it sounds a little weird but too has been very enlightening.) And finally, to ensure that I'm not setting myself up to fail, I've planned for the calories in my food log for today, will purchase just the 1 slice so I can't be tempted for more, focus mindfully on it while I'm enjoying it & know that in another 2-3 weeks, I can do so again with the sweet treat of my choosing. And, I have to say, I'm really looking forward to my treat & the test results.

So, stay tuned for the lab results to follow... my experiment calls! xoxox

Diet Calendar Entries for 07 April 2013:
1477 kcal Fat: 52.59g | Prot: 62.12g | Carb: 197.35g.   Breakfast: Blackberries, Blueberries, Raspberries, Strawberries, Raw Almonds, Lactose Free Plain Yogurt. Lunch: Trader Joe's Healthy 8 Chopped Veggie Mix, Whole Foods Market Fancy 4 Bean Salad, Plums , Mixed Salad Greens. Dinner: Carrot Cake with Icing, SanSai Japanese Grill Grilled Salmon, Outback Steakhouse Grilled Asparagus. Snacks/Other: Fresh Vegetable Tray, 100% Raw Coconut Water , Spirulina Energy Bar, Honeycrisp Apples, White Bean & Basil Hummus. more...
1625 kcal Activities & Exercise: Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet Ruhu's own diet  

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Comments 
You have so much more restraint than I do! I hope your experiment goes well and that you are able to then wait it out for round 2. I have not yet gotten to the point where I plan like you do. Good luck and I cannot tell you how much I enjoy your journals - it helps me remember the serenity prayer and that helps me each and every day. 
07 Apr 13 by member: RiverRes
I truly deeply strongly feel it is and was the 'no' and the guilt keeping you in the cycle. Giving yourself permission to be human and enjoy it mindfully with attention will release you. Looking forward to tomorrows journal. Already made a bet with my bookie you will find yourself satisfied after three/ four bites tops now that you've been sugar free.  
07 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella

     
 

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