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Yay, finally dropped! Ok, do you want to hear a story about what happened to me last night? I'd be interested to hear what you all think about this.
I am trying this online dating thing, without much success, but they say it's a numbers game, right? So yesterday I met a man for a drink even though he didn't fall into my usual type that I am attracted to. He's a physician and I am trying to find someone intelligent who can hold a good conversation. When I saw him, I didn't see any way that I would ever be able to kiss him or anything else, but I thought, maybe a friendship or maybe attraction could grow. So we talked, we ordered a glass of wine, waitress came by and asked if we want something to eat, he says no, doesn't ask me. Ok. It was a little awkward at first, but we found that we agreed on a lot of things, both of us have interesting work, and so it warmed up. Waitress asks him if he wants another glass, mine is still half full, and he says no, but bring the check. Should I gulp my wine now?
He pays, and says, ready to go? Wine glass still half full. Um, sure. He walked me to my car, and then starts stammering and says how much he enjoyed the conversation, and I could feel a BUT coming. Here's the thing...I was pretty sure at that point that I wasn't interested in dating. I have to admit I was somewhat tempted by his status as Chief of Psychiatry at a world-known treatment center near here, and by the depth of our conversation, but before I could say anything about how I felt, he delivered a punch in my gut (figuratively, of course).
You know what the BUT was? He said, "I really like you BUT you are overweight." Wow. Here I am, feeling pretty cute, used to getting warm reactions from men and POW. Ugh. I let him have it at that point. I told him that he doesn't know me, doesn't know what I've accomplished this year, has no idea how committed I am to losing weight and that I have already lost 55 lbs, and no, I can't make the last 30-40 disappear overnight, but in 3-4 months it's not going to be an issue. Then he had the nerve to ask me for my phone number! I'm thinking NO!
So yes, that stung a bit, but this morning it feels more like his issue. His behavior was pretty rude, it wasn't necessary to be so specific. Maybe because he is a psychiatrist he is used to being direct with his patients, but I'm not a patient and I always use tact and gentleness when telling a guy I'm not interested.
Oh dating at 54....don't all you married people wish you could have this kind of fun?
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193.8 lb
Lost so far: 53.8 lb.
Still to go: 29.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 11 October 2012:
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816 kcal
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Fat: 39.15g | Prot: 86.46g | Carb: 28.60g.
Breakfast: Egg White, Egg, Chicken Breakfast Sausage (Uncooked), Original Powder Creamer, Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk, Unsweetened Frozen Strawberries, 100% Whey Concentrated and Isolated Whey Protein. Lunch: cauliflower, chicken tender kirkland, pork loin chop. more...
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losing 8.4 lb a week
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1 to 20 of 23
 Comments
I have been there ... got the t-shirt. LOL! This guy sounds like a real ass. No wonder he is single. He assessed you right in the beginning without trying to get to know you. After insulting you... he wants your phone number? I think that was a lie anyway. He put a bandaid over the wound in your gut. I admire you for staying as open-minded as you were, since his looks were nothing to get excited about. He is definitely low class ... doctor or not. You are all class. Hugs!
11 Oct 12 by member: Mom2Boxers
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Oh.. by the way... congrats on your weight loss! YAY!!!! You are doing great!
11 Oct 12 by member: Mom2Boxers
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I said, you want my phone number now? To make me feel better? His response was, "no, I'd really like to call you, I think there are all kinds of ways to have relationships and I think you would be a great friend." He's right, I am a good friend, to people who deserve it. He does not.
11 Oct 12 by member: Djburney
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Hopefully he never calls you! What an assssss. Didn't even let you finish your wine. He has lots of issues. Since he is a shrink he probably could see in your eyes that you would never even think of kissing him no matter how smart he was so he put up his "I'll get her" wall. Jerk!
11 Oct 12 by member: Neptunebch
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wow, that is shocking. I am sorry he treated you like that and it is VERY clear that is it HIS problem. Keep up the good work and don't lose hope on men-there's a special person out there for everyone (except maybe that guy!)
11 Oct 12 by member: Lindsay6384
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Tell me you didn't give the guy your phone number! The guy is a "psych" case himself. I am amazed at how many beautiful women on FS are willing to compromise what they want in a man, because they allow themselves to be made to feel inferior, usually by some manipulative, self-absorbed jerk, because they carry some extra weight. What!? Better check to make sure he isn't a patient. If I could ever give women any advice, that they would actually listen to on here, it would be this: Don't compromise on your standards because you are overweight. Any guy that makes you feel inferior because of your weight is not worth having. Period.
11 Oct 12 by member: DairyKing
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WHAT A PIECE OF SH*T! I mean WHAT THE F*CK! This is the type of dude that gives all of us a bad name. First off, he is crazily impolite...the proper protocol is to make sure that the lady is tended to first, not just assume that she doesn't want anymore wine. Then he blurts out some bullsh*t....what an a**H*le. Forget that psych case, there are plenty of nice dudes who wont treat you like that. You have done a great job and you look fantastic!
11 Oct 12 by member: Hildi72
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Well said DK ! and I agree he probably is a psych patient rather than a doctor-- and regardless he's really not worth putting any energy into-what a jerk!
11 Oct 12 by member: newmooney
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Oh my FS secret friends, thank you so much. I did NOT send him my phone number, and I won't compromise on the kind of man I want this time. NO WAY. I'm feeling pretty good, really good in fact, and I can't even imagine dating someone who has that little class, Chief of Psychiatry or not. He doesn't get to ever see me or hear from me again. Maybe if I had put some old skinny pics on my profile and showed up looking obese, he might have had a tiny bit more right to do that, but my pics are almost all from my vacation 2 weeks ago, and most men think I look pretty damn good! Hildi, tell me how you really feel about that:-)
11 Oct 12 by member: Djburney
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You do look good! Don't tell DW I said that. LOL! I worry about people using those dating sites, but there have been some success stories. Have you seen the commercial where the girl met the man on the internet that claims to be a French model? The joke is that he shows up and says "Bonjour" and he ain't French. And off she goes with him. Well, you had to be there. I've got aquaintenances that have met their true loves on the web, moved in together and gotten divorced before the ink was dry. I personally know of one happily married couple who met on the web, but they corresponded for months before they even met. I think you have to be very strong, and not afraid of hurting someone's feelings when they come on to you, if it isn't right. Too many people get trapped into another relationship just like the one they got out of.
11 Oct 12 by member: DairyKing
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LOL, Yes, you look great. That dude is either blind or he is a psych patient and not a psychologist at all. Sorry for the outburst, I just find that dude so completely wrong for what he did and said.
11 Oct 12 by member: Hildi72
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I checked the guy out before I met him, he never told me his job, but I found him at The Meadows anyway. I do that for everyone I go out with now. We have a couple of mutual acquaintances, and they were going to be my next bit of research, but I'm not going to bother now. I'm embarrassed to even say that I had a drink with such an uncouth man.
11 Oct 12 by member: Djburney
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Just take your time; you'll do fine. Just don't date anybody on here. Everybody except me is looney! :)
11 Oct 12 by member: DairyKing
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I AM FUMING MAD!!! What a superficial, shallow, jerkwad. I know guys think that about me, but NEVER have I had one say it to my face. I know that is the reason sometimes I never hear from them again. Heck, maybe we are to applaud him for his honesty and at the same time kick him in the balls for his shallowness.
11 Oct 12 by member: JessWhatINeeded
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oh, and DK always has good self-esteem boosting dating tips. he's been attempting to be my love guru for months now.
11 Oct 12 by member: JessWhatINeeded
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So glad you didn't give him your phone number after that and don't ever settle for that kind of crap. Hildi and Jess - I love how you really say how you feel :)
11 Oct 12 by member: kimjinxie
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OMG what a fool! Damaged goods, that's all he is! A man like that doesn't deserve any woman at all!
11 Oct 12 by member: zenwolf
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Although he didn't string you along I am amazed at how shallow some people are! Kick his a$$ to the curb and never look back. Lots of guys like a curvy girl and anyone that can't respect you for you.... well I'll be polite and say don't let the door hit ya...
11 Oct 12 by member: thynes
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11 Oct 12 by member: CJT1217
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11 Oct 12 by member: Djburney
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