Djburney's Journal

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23 April 2013

Oh my goodness, this is hard...dieting is way easier than figuring out why I overeat in the first place. It hurts, it's scary, it's overwhelming, it's confusing, but in the end, it's the only way I'll ever get off the diet see-saw. I picked up a book today that I haven't read in years by Debbie Ford called The Right Questions. I copied this from the chapter called Waking Up From Autopilot:

When you get up in the morning, before you begin your day:

• Take a moment of silence and meditation, and give yourself permission to have all that you desire.

• Tell yourself that it is safe for you to fulfill your heart’s wishes

• Remember where you want to go, why you want to go there, and what will be waiting for you when you arrive. Allow yourself to imagine how you will feel, how you will look, and how others will be inspired by your when your vision is fulfilled.

• Think about all the opportunities you will have during the coming day to make choices that support the fulfillment of your goals and dreams.

(6 comments) on diet Djburney's own diet

17 April 2013

Good morning, my FS friends! I've been absent, but it's been necessary to sort of move in a new direction with my thinking about food, dieting, exercising, and my body image.

As most of you know, I've been in a course called, "Am I Hungry?" It's based on the book by Michelle May titled Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat. We have a lecture/discussion every Tuesday night, and meet in a small group on Thursday night for more of a therapy-like session.

We are focusing on separating our body image from our self-image, and I'm finding that particularly hard. We are also working on moving away from black and white, all or nothing, thinking. I'm sure everyone here can relate: you are on a diet or you are eating everything in sight. You are working out every day, or you are doing nothing. And for me...I'm either crazy in love or I don't want to try to make a relationship work. This black/white thinking is hard to change, and I've certainly put on some weight while trying to figure it out. I have hope though...This course is intensive. I have to work on it every day.

Here is something that I found particularly profound, and that you might want to try: Write a letter to your body telling it how you feel about it. I was amazed at the feelings that came up. Then write a letter from your body to yourself. I can't say that the letters changed everything, but I've started a personal journal of letters to and from my body, and it is helping me be more caring and loving toward myself and my body. Overeating is so damaging, and I'm sorry I've done that to my body.

I can't promise that I'll be updating regularly, but I will give it a try as new messages make it through the thickness of my skull and into my psyche. Take care of YOU, and be kind to yourself.

(5 comments) on diet Djburney's own diet

27 March 2013

I went to the orientation for my 10-week Emotional Eating course that starts next week. Here's a thought that I picked up last night...I should feel better after I eat, not worse. No s**t! But when I eat too much or too rich, I don't feel better after eating. What a concept!

Another thing I learned...don't use nutrition as a weapon...by eliminating certain foods or ingredients, I spend too much time focusing on it, thinking about food, worrying about it. Just eat some fresh and tasty food and get on with the day!

I'm going to start journaling what I learn each week here. I have a class on Tuesdays and group therapy on Thursdays. There goes my wine-tasting get-togethers! I guess this is a little healthier in the long term, right?

(8 comments) on diet Djburney's own diet

19 March 2013

A little update here, in case anyone is still following me....
I've managed to continue NOT weighing, and my clothes still fit, so I think I'm doing ok. I went to San Diego this weekend, and it was the first time on vacation that I did not sneak any food or overeat at all. That felt pretty good! I walked the beach for miles, enjoyed my family, relaxed, and didn't feel the need to overeat.

I've been in individual therapy for several weeks, and start the Balanced Life group next week. It's ten weeks, twice a week. Tuesdays are a class based on the book "Am I Hungry?" and Thursdays are a group therapy session. I think I'm going to lick this...haha not literally.

My job has become very stressful, not sure what I'm going to do. I need to make some money and have some success under my belt. It's not happening due to issues with school finance law and school accountability fears. It seemed like such a good thing. I'm very concerned and polishing up my resume. Sigh....

Take care my friends, I'll probably do this every few weeks, and I'm reading as much of yours as I can, but I have to avoid the ones that have too much diet talk. I like keeping up with your lives, though.

(12 comments) on diet Djburney's own diet

14 March 2013

It's been 10 days since I last weighed myself, and I'm finally getting over the automatic urge to weight when I wake up. I went a little crazy when I started this new plan, but now I've settled into thinking about how healthy I want to be, and how I really don't want to get fat again. It's really pretty freeing.

Also, I am working with a therapist to figure out why I would want to binge in the first place. There seems to be some correlation with my relationships with men, and some other pretty heavy stuff. It feels good to get to the bottom of it, almost like I am getting to know a part of myself that has been deeply buried. Time to dig out the junk and get rid of it, right?

In the meantime, that new buzzword, "mindful" eating, seems to be working for me. I'm paying attention to how food tastes, and if I don't love it, I stop eating it and find something else to eat. I only start eating when I'm hungry, and stop when I'm pleasantly full, not stuffed or uncomfortable in any way. Stopping at "satisfied" doesn't really work for me because there is too much emotional involvement in being satisfied. I either eat too much or not enough.

This stuff is not easy to learn....

(6 comments) on diet Djburney's own diet

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