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29 May 2008

If my head would get out of the way. I am struggling. I am starting to have hungry sensations or cravings more. I know that I am not following South Beach 100%, but pretty darn close for me. I haven't had potatoes, rice, bread, fruit or other 'high GI' foods since I started this a couple of weeks ago. And I don't have any real urges to eat that food. Just to eat in general. Isn't that more about the 'craving to eat' than the food itself?

I use food to cope. For the first ten days of this change in my eating, I was focused on the SB Diet itself so that was the 'distraction'. Now I have to get on with life - my new life.

However, should I go onto Phase 2? I don't think I have had the weight loss that SB talks about having in the first two weeks. Should I stay on Phase 1 longer and try a bit more to stay with leaner meat choices and lower my daily fat and calories? But then again, it seems that I am starting to creep into 'diet mentality' which is dangerous for me as then I totally self-sabotage.

Uggghhhhh! Oh to be free from this spiral!

26 May 2008

Even though I shed some weight, I am struggling to see it as enough. This is why it is so dangerous for me weigh. Nothing is even enough. It is like I want to self-sabotage.

I have been going to Curves everyday and have been keeping my eating to 3 meals and 2 snacks each day. I am pretty sure that keeping the calories to around 1600-1700 each day is good considering my weight.

However, I want to lose weight like they do on Biggest Loser - there I have said it. I totally 'know' that what I am doing is not the same of what the contestants go through there, not even close, however, I am irrational. I must be to talk myself into getting this high in weight.

I want to feel happy, joyous and free. This is want I want in my heart of hearts. Nowhere in that sentence do I say I want to be thin or lose weight. I need to keep my focus on my heart not my fears.

So hard.

Anyways, have a great day everyone. :)

25 May 2008

Weigh-in: 298.2 lb lost so far: 4.8 lb still to go: 15.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 5.6 lb a week

21 May 2008

20 May 2008

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