Even though I shed some weight, I am struggling to see it as enough. This is why it is so dangerous for me weigh. Nothing is even enough. It is like I want to self-sabotage.
I have been going to Curves everyday and have been keeping my eating to 3 meals and 2 snacks each day. I am pretty sure that keeping the calories to around 1600-1700 each day is good considering my weight.
However, I want to lose weight like they do on Biggest Loser - there I have said it. I totally 'know' that what I am doing is not the same of what the contestants go through there, not even close, however, I am irrational. I must be to talk myself into getting this high in weight.
I want to feel happy, joyous and free. This is want I want in my heart of hearts. Nowhere in that sentence do I say I want to be thin or lose weight. I need to keep my focus on my heart not my fears.
So hard.
Anyways, have a great day everyone. :)
Diet Calendar Entries for 26 May 2008:
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1667 kcal
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Fat: 105.84g | Prot: 109.89g | Carb: 79.27g.
Breakfast: V8 100% Vegetable Juice, egg whole. Lunch: natural peanut butter cookie, egg whole, Peppercorn Ranch Calorie-Wise Dressing, Ham Salad. Dinner: mozzarella slice, greek feta dressing, walnuts, feta, becel, green beans, lettuce, ground pork. Snacks/Other: cool whip, peanut butter natural, cottage cheese, fiber, liveactive crystal light, cheese string, cherry tomatoes . more...
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4822 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Driving - 1 hour, Housework - 1 hour, Exercise machine (fast) - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 7 hours, Sleeping - 6 hours and 30 minutes. more...
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