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I have had an interesting week, starting off with on Monday with my year end assessment at the gym. When I sat down with my trainer we looked back to when I began this journey in March. I weighed in at 221.8. I had never felt more defeated, angry, embarrassed, desperate to loose the weight. I even did the hcg diet and never cheated for 43 days.Would I recommend that diet nope not even for money. lol
I will never forget that first assessment 2 minutes on treadmill at 0 incline and 1.2 mph just about killed me planks, push ups, squats windmills left me winded. rofl... I was so embarassed that I didn't go back for a couple of months. I hated low carbing and sugar free, and then gluten free in the beginning. Yet each time I came back and hung in there learning my body and what it would tolerate and what it wouldn't tolerate..
Today I picked up and did walk lunges with 30 pound kettle balls in each hand. I had to ask myself how in God's name did I carry that much weight around each and everyday.I also now do 30 minutes at 9 or 12% incline at 3 mph, before my strength training for an hour. I workout at the gym 5 or 6 days a week along with a couple of challenges I do here and another site so about another 20 to 30 minutes daily.
This past week has been about revelations of where I was and where I am and where I want to be. I have kept one pair of jeans and shirt, undergarments I can't believe I wore then and felt good in them. I have gone from a tight size 20 to a very very loose 14 {to cheap to buy more jeans til Feb 1} . I have never seen the progress from then til now and still don't I still see that very very fat person that I started at. I hope someday I see that new person emerging I remember what she looked like before about 3 years ago. I still don't see her. I do see the woman that survived and is still surviving.
As I write this journel I think that some may think I am bragging on the so called progress instead I am writing this to remind myself when I want to give up and go back to the junk foods that I still crave from time to time where I started and where I never want to began. I have journeled several times I want to have my body back precancer... NO I DON'T.... I was a skinny fat... I had no muscle tone etc..
Instead I want" me" who ever that is and where ever the weight journey ends and the maintaining it begins. I have 105 as my goal weight since that is what I have always weighed in at. Who knows I may stop before... I think we all have something in our closets that we want to wear again even just once. I know I do.. I have a pair of 3/5 jeans that I wore on my first date with my fiancee back in 08 I want them back on just once more then I will know I made it.
So this year of 2015 my goals are really simple I want to make it to goal and then next assessment day with trainer I want to spend time talking about doing defining and running again.I want to continue to learn that each and every person is valuable that we need each other to learn and grow. I want to LIVE with no regrets...
If someone reads this fine if not that is okay this is more for me to say I believe in me and I beat cancer 2x and I will beat this also..To me a new healthy body and soul...
Cheers everyone
Diet Calendar Entries for 08 January 2015:
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1206 kcal
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Fat: 77.41g | Prot: 45.81g | Carb: 46.63g.
Breakfast: Coffee, Fred Meyer Heavy Whipping Cream. Lunch: Biochem Sports 100% Whey Protein - Vanilla, Kirkland Signature Frozen Whole Strawberries. Dinner: Buttered Popcorn Popped in Oil, Kraft Chunky Blue Cheese Dressing, Sopraffina Italian Chef Salad with Dressing. Snacks/Other: Skyy Vodka, Dream Blends Coconut, almond,& chia drink unsweetened. more...
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2878 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Standing - 2 hours, Housework - 2 hours, Sitting - 6 hours, Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 15 minutes, Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 45 minutes. more...
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 Comments
Congrats on all of your success.
08 Jan 15 by member: gingin40
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Great success story! Thanks for sharing.
08 Jan 15 by member: Stacy725
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09 Jan 15 by member: schmetterling34
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You are an amazing passionate woman!!That took real moxie to share your journey. Even though this battle is still going, I know you will conquer it in 2015 and come out even STRONGER and feeling better than EVER!!! After battling Cancer you can do anything you set your mind too! However, I know I don't have to tell you that because you did it, you've lived it, and you conquered it. Congratulations! And you are the least bragging person I know online. You are REAL and that is what I admire most about you. Keep up the good fight!! ((HUGS))to you my friend. Truly, Jen
09 Jan 15 by member: Jones Jennifer
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You are a survivor. Great job!
09 Jan 15 by member: chesgreen
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Thank you all for the support and encouragement...I know this site has been one of the best choices I made on getting healthy...I am up a bit today but I know that is from sore muscles..This week has been brutal getting back into the gym and things.. So looking forward to my rest day on Sunday and watching football.....
09 Jan 15 by member: Rains120
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09 Jan 15 by member: jereda
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Awesome - it is the weight training that helps!
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09 Jan 15 by member: wholefoodnut
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Just remember to hydration with all that weight lifting. It helps fatigued muscles and soreness.
09 Jan 15 by member: Jones Jennifer
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What an inspiration. What willpower. Awesome Job :-)
09 Jan 15 by member: kimba80
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Congratulations! That's wonderful progress and with your willpower you are unstoppable!
10 Jan 15 by member: CatHerder
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What a wonderful message to yourself and others. This is a good reminder that it takes hard work to reach our goals. Wishing you all the best my friend!
19 Jan 15 by member: Sophie2010
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