katies71's Journal, 12 May 2019

We all have down times, but when u do... remember things will improve. You have done so well... you will again 

I dearly hope you feel better Katie! Rest up.  

Yeah, I know...I'm mostly just struggling to eat right when I'm not feeling well. I can't just blow it because I'm sick. I can take care of myself, I have to remember that I'm worth it! 

All you can ever do is your best, and your best changes from day to day. Just do what you can when you can. There were days that all I could do was lay in bed, so I'd do leg lifts because something was better than nothing. 

I hope you get well and feel well soon, but rest is good for you, try to enjoy the small things, eat to really enjoy it and savour the good feelings. Easy for us to say, I know!!! 

Katie71, I'm sorry you're feeling sick. Have you touched base with your doctor/surgeon? You're still sort of in "recovery" mode since your WLS. The doctor should be aware that you're not able to eat. Feel better!  

Katie- I am contemplating even writing this because I don't want to sound like other people on this site- but without having your urge to overeat examined- how can you have weightloss surgery? The same habits are there (it would seem) and don't you risk seriously injuring yourself or even dying if you over eat? My only experience with this is from watching 600# LIFE and I think you should seek counseling while you do this. Or maybe you already do. (Geez- for someone who didn't want to be involved... I know) I hope you don't think I'm out of line for saying it. you can let me know if you think that. I won't be offended.  

Katie, I am thinking you are already being hard on yourself and trying to comfort yourself. I get it. The difference is that now the consequences are more detrimental than in the passed. Try to find that in between place where you get some comfort, but not necessarily from food and you use encouragement to get you through. You're intelligent and compassionate and you can do this.👍  

Katie71, you mention that you're "not walking so [you're] not losing." Exercise is not a "weight loss" strategy. It shouldn't be that hard to lose weight after WLS if food is so limited. I think it's time for you to exercise that "tough love" muscle! 

Hugz! We have so much to be grateful for! Do we want to be back to 300 pounds (and climbing), or do we want to be right here, right now (being sick and all)? I just bounced back up to my weight this time last year, but, I would rather be here than where I was 2 years ago. Good luck! 

Take care Katie. Nourish that body of yours. Hope you are feeling better today. 

Katie...you are definitely worth it!!! Sometimes when our body is down, our spirit is down also. It's easy to lose perspective. It's hard to remember that it also works the other way around. Sometimes we have to find ways to lift our spirit so our bodies can heal.  

Also, some times it helps to remember what food actually is. Food can provide comfort, yes. But ultimately, it is fuel and sometimes our medicine.  

I'm surprised you were on 'real' food so soon after the surgery but like Princess the only thing I know of this procedure is from you or what I've seen on the 600# show. Seems to me they are on broth for a full month? Maybe a different procedure. I am concerned for you with this your feeling ill and agree your physician/surgeon needs to be made aware. This is not a time to tough out the pain/sickness. Something could be amiss. 

You guys are awesome! Just for people who don't know...I am in therapy and am working very hard to overcome my need to self-medicate with food (can't have alcohol any more due to my meds and was never interested in drugs lol). I have been diagnosed with Complex-PTSD which is something that I will probably need treatment for, for awhile. I've been in therapy almost from the beginning as it is one of the requirements for the surgery that you get a psych eval. and though the doctor did not require me to see a therapist he advised that it would help me immensely. I took his advice and got in to see my current therapist asap! I have also talked to my doctors regularly (we have email!) and I'm scheduled to go in on Friday this week. I honestly hope that I'm over this before then but I tend to be sick for months not weeks (which is one of the reasons that I was even able to have the surgery). Most of the doctors that I've seen, not on my bariatric team, have decided that the reason I am sick is because I am fat so...having this surgery is supposed to be "the cure". My bariatric team does think that I may be able to stop some of my meds but they don't believe it will "cure" me. This is something that I will probably be dealing with for the rest of my life. We have decided that if it does cure me then woo hoo, I would love to be wrong! And if it doesn't, they agree that I can thumb my nose at all those previous doctors and call them morons! Win-win for me!! They also convinced me to revisit the ear, nose, and throat docs so I will be seeing them on Wed. and maybe they can give me some relief for the symptoms I'm experiencing. Which would really be nice. I already know that I need a surgery to really clear things up...I have a lot of narrowing and several bone spurs in my nasal passage but we wanted to start with the most important surgery first because as much weight as I can get off, before having sugery again, the better. With my weight as high as it was, surgery is less safe. The last doc wanted me to lose 100 pounds first...we'll see what this one says... Anyways...hope that cleared up some stuff, thanks again for all the advice and the well-wishes, you guys ARE awesome, don't you forget it!! 

….keep being vigilant with those doctors...unfortunately, sometimes obesity is stigmatized in healthcare where doctors are prone to point every cause of a medical issue to weight... 

Thanks for filing me in. Good luck to ya.  

Katie girl!! Feel better !!! Sending lots of hugs 🤗 

Sorry you aren't feeling well. With all the antibiotics you have taken you need to build up good gut bacteria. Eat with wisdom. I don't "enjoy" lots of things I eat, but I do like the results. I also had to give up lots of things to lose the weight I wanted. Plus, the intermittent fasting is no joy, but I do it for a purpose: fuzzy brain. Some on here seem to be able to eat lots of things I can't, but they are younger, and they can exercise a lot to compensate. I have to be very strict. You are being forced to be very strict too. It has become essential. Sorry. Life can be hard, and it has been hard for you. I'm sorry about that. Now you are being forced into a corner about your eating. I will pray for you to have courage, strength, and resolve. Getting older isn't for sissies. It's tough. Take the encouragement from all your friends here. It's okay if you cry a little. Life isn't fair. I'm sorry you have Complex-PTSD. Be as kind to yourself as you can. God loves you more than you can imagine. I know you say you aren't a Christian, but He loves you and wants relationship with you. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.