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WARNING: RANT VENT -
I was having a good day until about an hour ago. My husband, myself, and our daughter went to the store for weekly items, paper towels, dog food etc.. I have only been drinking water for awhile now and I am out of coffee. We are normally on a tight budget, but we have some extra money this week. So my husband get his Dr. Pepper 24pk instead of generic, another phone card, and a few other things he has been wanting. I pick up some k-cups in various flavors because I need something with taste instead of just water.
When we get to the cashier, after unloading most of the items, I get his disparaging look that I get whenever he is upset with something I have done. I immediately take my coffee out and put it on the empty register near us. He had not seen me put it in the cart. When the total comes up to around $150, I put my coffee back on the register and state " we are still under what we had to spend". Shouldn't have done that....
He starts griping at me right there in front of the cashier and everyone about me getting the coffee. I'm like we had enough money to get it and I really don't want to drink just water forever. (I'm still crying as I write, my apologies). It doesn't stop there. All the way home he continues.. Why did I have to get coffee? He hates coffee. I explain once again about my diet and he knows I have only been drinking water. That I don't understand what the difference is between him buying Dr. Pepper instead of the generic but I can't have coffee that will last me almost 5 months. I also explain that I got stuff for all of us not just the coffee like the paper towels, toilet paper...Wrong thing to say again. That isn't stuff for everyone, it is stuff for the home. It goes on and on until I am crying in the car and feel like shit, like he would rather have me just me drink only water. Like I should just be dead because I am not worth anything. Our daughter is in the back seat while all this is happening and she turns up her music so she can't hear. Finally, he says he is sorry for the look. I stupidly say it wasn't just the look, it was everything after. So he starts again.
We finally get home and he wants to act like nothing happened, everything is okay. After getting groceries put up, he comes over to me to kiss me and I don't kiss back so he pulls me down side ways and kisses me. I just walk back into the house and fix our daughter some lunch. I go into the bathroom and cry for a while. Come back out and he is putting up my door bands for my workouts. His way of making up. But I am still in shambles over this.
I know he doesn't want me to lose weight even though after we talked whenever it comes up he will say I support you. This just is I don't know, but I feel horrible and I can't stop crying about it. So needless to say, I have not weighted today and have not eaten, just drinking my water.
Diet Calendar Entries for 16 August 2018:
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949 kcal
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Fat: 84.27g | Prot: 35.26g | Carb: 10.61g.
Breakfast: Kroger Bottled Water, Egg, Kroger Heavy Whipping Cream. Dinner: Pork Sausage Patty or Link, Sweet Onions, Mushrooms, Baby Spinach, Fried Egg, Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise, Great Value Shredded Mozzarella Cheese, Bell Peppers. more...
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1991 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Resting - 17 hours, Sleeping - 7 hours. more...
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21 to 40 of 59
 Comments
oml thats horrible im so sorry your husband is like that with you thats not right
16 Aug 18 by member: raveneyes76
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I realize this is just a snapshot of your relationship, but it's not healthy. Hopefully there are many more endearing interactions between you that far outweigh this. Even if this is not the norm, it's mean. It's not acceptable in a marriage. I hope things get better. ❤
16 Aug 18 by member: reganshale
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I was married to something like that once. Never again. I hope you focus on you and your daughter. BE HER example that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TOO. I SUGGEST MARRIAGE COUNSELING OR DIVORCE.LlIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR MIND FUCKERY. YOU CAN DO THIS!
16 Aug 18 by member: MIXDGRL
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He never should have yelled at you in public like that and the fact that he continued in the car, just proved he is trying to control you. Don’t let him, you deserve to choose your choice of beverage, just as he did. We are here for you.
16 Aug 18 by member: deb126
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It was Dr. Pepper’s fault XD
16 Aug 18 by member: demetz
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I agree with nikeit and weezay. the way you described his words and actions is a clear sign of verbal abuse. You need to find some way to address it. That is more unhealthy than our weight problems.
16 Aug 18 by member: Doilin
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Been there. It's ugly. Here's an idea...don't take him shopping anymore and you lose weight like you want to. Not his body. He doesn't need to see the receipt either. As long as you stay in your budget there is nothing wrong. Sit him down his his chair and let him drown his sorrows in Dr. Pepper.
16 Aug 18 by member: Vlkea01
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Mjgh06: I wish I could tell you I have the answer but it sounds like narcissistic behavior. Trying to get you mad for no reason. I lived with a narcissist for 15 years before realizing she had power over me because I GAVE her the power. Ignore him and get your f...ing coffee. It's your life. Sounds like he could use a diet with that Dr. pepper crap...fwiw.
16 Aug 18 by member: I am Thor
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This is definitely abuse and neglect. If he can have Dr Pepper, you definitely should be able to have coffee.
16 Aug 18 by member: ApacheTiger37
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Agree with everything that has been said. It is ugly and demoralizing to go through what you are experiencing. Is it possible he is acting out his insecurity over you losing weight? No excuse for his behavior at all, just a thought. Good luck and hang in there
16 Aug 18 by member: broncomba
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I'm so sorry that guy is giving you a hard time. You have every right to be upset...
16 Aug 18 by member: John10251
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I really can't add much more to what everyone else has said other than, they are 200% right. This guy is a control freak and it will only get worse. I have a temper and I'd have poured those Dr Peppers on his head.
16 Aug 18 by member: BlueFront
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Some men like their women fat cause they are afraid of losing them
16 Aug 18 by member: rosio19
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He's a selfish abuser, no one deserves to be treated like that.
16 Aug 18 by member: @philrmcknight
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16 Aug 18 by member: rosio19
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16 Aug 18 by member: rosio19
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assert yourself. you are a smart, strong woman and deserve respect. also think about what your child is learning. please be safe.
16 Aug 18 by member: sallkr3
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I haven’t read the comments yet. My hubby and I go through this a few times a year. Some men(most i think) just don’t understand how hurtful some of things they say are. I’m a stay at home Mom and whenever hubby starts in about how he’s the bread winner I remind him that his hobbies are more expensive than mine. I have horses which costs 200 every 3 months for trims and then my diet. Insurance covers almost all of my medical. I drink less pop now(1-2 a day so a 12 pk a week or so) yet he drinks 2 cases a week etc. Then when he keeps on I get online and job search. Last time he gave in immediately and said he realized whatever the issue was that is wasn’t worth having to pay daycare and him cutting back on his hours to help with the kids. Time before that I was already calling about jobs and filled out apps but hadn’t taken them in yet. He just needed to realize that he has almost everything he wants now. A stay at home mom, a wife who can run errands for him or spend time with him as he wants, a full time cook and maid, he doesn’t have to run kids everywhere constantly and can go on his hunting trips whenever he wants because I can handle his job and mine as far as kids and Home are concerned. If I go back to work, which I’d actually like, he would have to help out a LOT more and restrict himself more.
Perhaps your hubby needs a reminder as well. If you aren’t a lot overweight perhaps he has a point on not wanting you to lose. I haven’t looked at your profile. BUT if you should lose more and are being healthy and doing it to be healthier then he may need a reminder of that as well. You need this for YOU so you can be a better wife and mother for THEM. I think making a list of things to say next time something like this comes up would be beneficial for you. Things to gently remind him that you’ve done without that coffee for awhile such as ‘well I guess I could skip it again this week if you are willing to agree to get coffee next week instead of Dr. Pepper’. This will hopefully let him think about doing without and he might understand you better. My heart goes out to you as I know exactly what you are dealing with :/.
16 Aug 18 by member: peeperjj
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Something tells me his reaction has nothing to do with money nor coffee...
16 Aug 18 by member: clarissamach
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Too real girl. Focus on the prize the big stuff. When you’re in your cute outfit you won’t remember this. Enjoy your family in its imperfection
16 Aug 18 by member: SissiJo
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