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Sometimes the journey seems so long that giving up seems like the only option... Good Monday morning everyone...I hope you are all having a wonderful day! I hope that all of you had a fantastic weekend. Its been a long one for me. So my mother in law was back in the ER all weekend, in quarantine, because of the infection she has in her intestine. My husband was a wreck, thinking she wouldnt make it. She is home now, but still very sick. I wish that they would have kept her, only because she wont stop when she is home. She constantly is up working and doing things instead of resting. I want her to get better. I want her to live a long life, but she is working herself to death and no one can stop her. On top of that, though, the infection she has is highly contagious for people and animals. We have kids living in our house and I just think that it was irresponsible of the doctors to clear her to leave just because she was saying she wanted to go home. Though, if I get it, it causes rapid weight loss, so maybe it would be the best for me! HaHa!!! We are looking at places to move out on our own. I am so tired of living like we do. We pay rent, but we are constantly reminded that we only live there, that it is HER house. The threat of raised rent, monthly room inspections, always being on guard because her attitude...I just cant do it anymore. I am not leaving my husband, but if we dont leave that situation soon, it will start to effect our marriage. His sister is a tyrant who lords over us that we live WITH her, that she is the name on the lease, its HER house...I know that I have failed a lot in my life, so I dont need the constant reminder that I dont have my own place. I am not allowed to cook, I am not allowed to even go into the kitchen without 200 questions. She is always mad, always unhappy, and I just cant do it anymore. If it wasnt like that, if she was a reasonable person who didnt treat us like we are trolls under her bridge, we might be able to make it work, but not like this, not anymore. I am having a sort of crisis of faith this last few weeks. It seems like I am being tested beyond my ability and I dont have it in me anymore. I am tired. I will pray for strength, for renewal, or for a miracle...thats what I really need...a miracle. If any of you who pray are willing, please pray for my miracle...because I dont have it in my anymore to keep going like this... Thanks for reading this...please be good to each other...depression is real and very scary...you never know what struggles that may seem trivial to you, are heavier than others can handle.
Diet Calendar Entry for 09 July 2018:
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745 kcal
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Fat: 70.38g | Prot: 25.41g | Carb: 0.53g.
Breakfast: Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Carrington Farms Pure, Unrefined, Cold Pressed Coconut Oil 100% Organic Extra Virgin. Dinner: Johnsonville Sausage Patty. Snacks/Other: Bob's Red Mill Unsweetened Shredded Coconut. more...
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 Comments
09 Jul 18 by member: mishy08
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Praying for you Klynn, going through the same type of thing with the living situation. ONE day we will escape! Lol <3 <3 <3
09 Jul 18 by member: CrashtestDawnie
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Oh hun I know how you feel. My inlaws are the same but thankfully I live just down the road instead of in the same house! I’ll give you the same advice my counselor gave me:’make time for YOU, at least a 2-4 hour block of time every week’. She says this will help my marriage and not to be as bothered my things like what my inlaws do. In your case I don’t think it would solve much but perhaps it would allow you some time to relax away from it all? I hope it gets better for you soon and that you can find a place to live that’s affordable :).
09 Jul 18 by member: peeperjj
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I am so sorry you are going through all this. Maybe a social worker could help they know of more resources. They could get you on a housing list. Most area's have a 211 number to call for assistance,
10 Jul 18 by member: Oppaloopa
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Adding my prayers that grace and mercy will fill you up to overflowing, and that a way will be opened for you to move out.
10 Jul 18 by member: lynowen
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I hope you can have your own house, praying for you to stay strong 🙏❤❤
10 Jul 18 by member: keilin-4
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Hugs and prayers coming your way klynn❤️
10 Jul 18 by member: momma6224
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Prayers to you all! After everything I’ve been through with my dad I know how hard it is!
10 Jul 18 by member: whocares2017
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Klynn, sometimes I ready what comments were posted before I post anything, just so I don't repeat the already good words or so I can agree with so&so and show my support. This time though, after reading your entry I just had to skip over the other comments (I will go back & read them, there are wonderful supportive folks here). I really 'feel' for you, I can relate although I know I have not 'walked' in your shoes but believe me I feel your pain and frustration. I'm not sure exactly what to say to help...only that this too shall pass, I know that sounds 'hoakie' (not even sure if you spell it like that!) but that is something that came into my mind. I do have a couple other sayings that help me when I get frustrated with people, they are up at my desk at work upstairs & I'll get them and send them to you, I actually need to make a copy of them and put them at the desk I'm working at downstairs since I'm here most often anyway! BUT with your MIL I'm not sure of her age, did they have an option to have her go to a rehab facility to recover further? That was an option for my parents and even though they didn't like it, it did work out for the best when all was said & done. The only thing I can say about other folks and 'their' issues is that from what I have gone through, it IS their issues and I've heard it said that what they say & do is not a reflection on who I am and in some cases it really has nothing to DO with me. BUT having said that and me trying to get that in my head is not easy, it is very difficult and still hurts when things happen like what is happening. All I can say. I think some of it has to do with them not being very happy people and it is sad, but again that does not ease the pain you/i've felt. I know it has been said "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" well I saw a 'funny' one day that had someone sitting at a typewriter typing and it was "Dear what doesn't kill me, STOP IT, I'm strong enough" :-) Please take care of YOU!
10 Jul 18 by member: JMA312
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Thinking of you and your wonderful vacation Do you think they might be jealous of your joy ? Praying that God will bless you with a great new home to call your own!!! But keep on going and getting healthier please don’t give up in defeat We are here for you anytime 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒 🤗
10 Jul 18 by member: gsn fan
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Wow I can relate! I lived with my in-laws and it did ruin my relationship because his mom held in to him emotionally so hard! you got this!
10 Jul 18 by member: jenjabba
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I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! It's hard to be healthy mentally when you're living in that kind of environment. Praying for you and hoping that things get better.
10 Jul 18 by member: mars2kids
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Praying for Momma and your living arrangements.
13 Jul 18 by member: Peasy3
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