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20 January 2013

19 January 2013

06 January 2013

16 December 2012

I am losing motivation, desire, and drive. I have done so well since march. But I feel myself not even wanting to get on here, which is weird cause I lived on this site up until about a month ago. I think everything that has been going on finally caught up to me, along with the holidays. I kicked my husband out in April because he wouldn't stop drinking. He caused havoc for a few months and then decided about two months ago to finally go to treatment (this has been a 13 year issue). Then we found out that my mother in law had cancer, but she wouldn't tell us how bad, what stage, or if she could beat it. She just kept telling us that everything was fine. Well, she passed away last week. It was terrible to watch her get so sick so fast and then have to sit in that hospital room and watch her die. It's been a rough ordeal and I'm having the weirdest emotions about it, some I'm not sure are very appropriate. Plus I love to bake around the holidays. Although I've never cheated, I am catching myself eating more to compensate for my desire to have treats. I just need to find a way to get re motivated and get back on track. Thanks for letting me rant :)

20 October 2012

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