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06 October 2015

Hokay. Self.

Don't get frustrated - you are still fighting the good fight.

Of course the weight isn't going to just melt off, have you seen your food journal? There's still a lot of junk on there. Reese's PB Cups for breakfast? Come on man, you know better than that.

You did work out last night, you did a great job. You were tired and you pushed a little longer. All good things. Continue to work at it and you will become more consistent and your endurance and strength will return and improve. Remember, you are basically starting over. Again. Don't despair, you haven't given up. You can still do this.

Keep trying to make good choices. The more you make, the more you make. Every good choice - your workout, your drink choice, your food - is a small victory. You can't win the war without winning the battles.

Today can be a good day if you make it one.

05 October 2015

Birthday week is over. Little sister's birthday was Sunday, mine was Thursday, and mom's was Saturday. LOTS of good eating. Surprisingly no birthday cake was baked. That's pretty sad actually. Will have to make up for that during the holidays :)

Had a workout with a trainer on Saturday morning. My body is still groaning a bit as I sit down and stand up. As much as I would like to see her once a week, it's just not in the budget right now. Will try to get to a place where that can be afforded. In the meantime, trying to workout more. I think BF realized how out of shape he is, so it will be interesting to see if/how his workouts change. It's great that he comes with me, the support is amazing - but I can't help but wish he'd sometimes work out a little harder.

I have Wednesday night off this week - so I may get a bonus workout in - yay!

30 September 2015

Not exactly the most promising start to my day food-wise, but it will get better. I tell myself there's good fat and protein in the peanut butter (even though I know most of it is sugar...) and that's what makes a RPBC more acceptable than other forms of candy bars.

All these little methods for rationalizing our choices.

My birthday is tomorrow, and finally, after 10 years, I had to get my license renewed. I had an interesting moment when the woman asked me what my weight was. I told her something about 25 lbs lighter than I currently am. A part of me regretted lying, but as I thought about it I realized that within the next 5 years, it is more than likely I will weigh that amount (because, dammitall, I'm going to get down past the weight I gave her), and that even if I get her my current weight, it is unlikely that will be *accurate* for that long of a time. Dear god I hope I can keep working it down and it doesn't go above where I'm at now.

In any case. After tomorrow - vote for me for President :P

29 September 2015

4 workouts in the books in the past week and a half - it feels really good to be moving again. Last night I was so awesomely disgustingly sweaty I couldn't touch anything without leaving water marks. Eew. But really, yay. The BF says he thinks he can already see the progress. I'm not quite there (seriously, every mirror in that gym offers me a different distorted picture that all look like hell), but the working out is for me and my peace of mind. The food control (or at least the attempt at control) is for my butt :P

I'm not recording the workouts on here because I know one of the traps I can fall into is assuming I can eat a lot more ice cream because I'm working out. As it was last night I was going to have some ice cream, but had a V8 instead (if the only bad thing you're going to tell me about that drink is that it has a lot of salt in it, I'm okay with that - but please don't tell me anything else bad. It makes me feel like I'm doing a good job drinking it).

For those of you who might be curious, my workout from last night was as follows:

10 min treadmill warm up (mostly walking, but one sub 1-minute sprint at 6 pmh, trying to increase this by 5 seconds each time)

3 x 12 of the following: Bench press, leg press, lat pull, leg extension, tricep extension, leg curl, bicep curl, adduction, abduction

20 min stairclimber (nooooooooo intervals here yet)

I have gotten bored with routine in the past - so I'm thinking I'll try to do this for a month and then see about switching it up. We'll see. Gotta make it to my next workout first :)

17 September 2015

Dragging today. I have that awesome thick feeling in the center of my chest and the beginning of a deeper voice that is foretelling the cold my body is building. I know I've been burning the candle at both ends, this is the result of that. Is it bad to plan on Thursday to take a sick day on Friday? I have a new manager that started 2 weeks ago and I don't want to come across as a slacker, but I am quite certain a few days of sleep will really help.

On the food front - I was so ready to EAT last night. I had a lovely lunch that just somehow didn't fill me up, so I was kind of excited about having a biiiig burger, fries, and a shake for dinner. But it didn't happen. I went to happy hour and noshed on a few appetizers and washed it down with a beer. Then I went to pool and had a piece of pizza. I was even planning on eating a second but gave it to a friend when I decided I wasn't so hungry for it. I was surprised to find I felt fine. A little disappointed I was denied my binge :) but also happy with it.

This morning has started out a little differently as the convenience store they have at the office was out of the hummus cups. A Milky Way is a decent substitute.... My stomach is now protesting and I kind of want to throw up. Guess (I hope?) that's a good change. Now for lunch I just want a bowl of soup (and I almost never want soup). But first I have to get there :P

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