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Weight History
showing entries 31 to 35 of 43
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28 May 2018
I am not praying so I am not fasting today. I didn't fast yesterday either. I have increased the amount of time I write by a very big percentage, and I realize that the time I spend writing the less I am likely to eat. Could it be because I am spending my time doing something meaningful and I am not just sitting around or walking around watching television feeling like I am not doing much with my life? Or perhaps food represents something to me. What is food that writing is also? I know that I eat to fill something inside. I know particular foods numb me or awaken something within.
Oh I hate it that most of the time I think about food, and that I always want something in my mouth. It is so frustrating; So I have flavored drinks like cappuccino and cocoa so I don't eat, but it doesn't satisfy me, I always want more and at that moment I realise food isn't going to make me happy. There has to be other ways of filling me without filling my stomach. Writing has done that for me. I feel some what high when I write down the millions of thoughts and images that go through my head throughout the day.
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27 May 2018
Suhoor time just finished. Someone did something that made me think in a particular way and the aftermath was felt in my heart. My heart became tense. A hand grabbed on to it and was squeezing it.
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27 May 2018
Weigh-in:
151.0 lb
lost so far:
7.7 lb
still to go:
18.7 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 7.7 lb a week
26 May 2018
I ate too many pancakes and crumpets. I need to go outside as soon as I eat iftaar, because if I stick around the kitchen, I just eat and eat and I don't even need to.
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26 May 2018
Woke up today with a noisy mind that led to a heavy heart. Led to feelings of helplessness and belief that this is how its always going to be. To the Lord, refuge I had to constantly seek.
Drank a liter water in the morning like I always do and ate a healthy breakfast followed by a large cappuccino. Glad I did not take out my feelings on the food.
Weigh-in:
152.1 lb
lost so far:
6.6 lb
still to go:
19.8 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 1.5 lb a week
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