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Good Friday Morning Buddies!! Since I feel like I'm dragging myself around this morning I will start with what I am grateful for and see if that gives me a little kick start!
Today I am grateful for ...
1. Friday and Payday (my first full pay check is quite some time)
2. weighing in today and finding that I wasn't near 190 like I thought I might be but instead just a tad over the top of my range at 185.8
3. a day that will hopefully pass quickly so I can get home and begin my weekend
4. having buddies here that I can say things to that I cannot say to many others and be understood and supported
5. knowing in my heart that all is well with my journey of health and wellness even if my mind sometimes struggles to be in sync with my heart.
So, last night was weird. I was SO tired and went to bed early but then woke a couple hours later wide awake and slightly agitated/anxious. Bob was awake too. It took forever to get back to sleep and of course this morning I am feeling it. I have a little hitch in my 'git-a-long' too. A muscle spasm or something in my lower right hip. I was able to do Pilates this morning without too much trouble yet I feel like a gimp!! Just out of sorts I guess in many ways.
I believe I'll rejoin the ranks of the daily weigh-in. I've been on a weekly weigh-in for the past three weeks, and though I am still at the top of my range with no real reason to worry I think I need the daily weigh-in for accountability. I still would like to see 180 be closer to my top range and yet I just don't seem to be able to pull it off! I remind myself that I have successfully trimmed off a significant amount of weight, that my measurements are good for my frame, and that I have been able to sustain my loss for over a year now. I'm not feeling frustrated really ... just mildly curious as to the reasons I do not seem to be able to bring my weight down lower. Perhaps I am not motivated enough. Perhaps this is where my body wants to hover. Anyway, it is what it is. What is important is that I continue the journey, not become lacidasical (did I spell that right?), and practice kindness towards myself on a regular and frequent basis. Oh yes ... and stay here on fatsecret!!! I know without a doubt that if I were not here with all of you that I would have probably gained by now. This processing and sharing my journey has been a crucial part of my success.
I am meeting a new family today. This baby was born at 26 weeks gestation and was in the neonatal intensive care unit for 100 days!! It is truly a miracle how an infant born so early can live! I am looking forward to meeting them this morning.
And so ... on I go into the day!! More coffee is in order!! Perhaps it is brewed by now. Thank you for being witnesses for me. For sharing your 'ups' and 'downs' and being present. I do not believe it can be said often enough how precious each of you are to me!! Enjoy your day, count your blessings, weather whatever storms blow your way and throughout each leg of this journey remember to be kind to yourself. We are MORE than the number on the scale, the size clothing we wear, the measurements of our bodies. We are worth kindness. Kindness. In a world that sometimes brings us heart ache and difficulties when we are practicing kindness towards ourself it creates opportunities to be more accepting of what 'is' and be in the moment instead of living in the 'what if's" or the "I should have's" ... this I must remember daily.
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185.8 lb
Lost so far: 73.4 lb.
Still to go: 0.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 09 July 2010:
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2473 kcal
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Fat: 69.23g | Prot: 89.25g | Carb: 348.29g.
Breakfast: water, Special K Protein Bar. Lunch: Blue Bunny Light Yogurt, cantaloupe, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins, Jarlsberg Lite, white turkey meat. Dinner: boneless chicken breast, Kirkland Mexican Shredded Cheese, Light Balsamic Vinaigrette, Craisins, Original Iceberg Garden Salad (Zip), yellow sweet pepper, tomato, red onion, cucumber, avocado, apple, Feta Cheese. Snacks/Other: Mike's Hard Limeade, Simply Naked Bagel Chips, Hummus 40 Spices. more...
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2712 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Pilates - 50 minutes, Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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gaining 0.8 lb a week
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 Comments
Oh moose! You're like the best.
09 Jul 10 by member: alllicat
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Glad you did your weigh-in experiment and figured out what you like best. Good to test those things instead of just driving ourselves nuts. It seems again like you're still not settled on whether you want to push yourself with further weight loss or not. I guess these things aren't settle-able. And it IS amazing that babies that tiny can be ok. Especially since so baby cooking takes place in those last few weeks. Good reminder to be present in the moment. Happy Friday!
09 Jul 10 by member: beets_yum
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Thanks for adding me as a buddy. I really enjoy reading your journals. You've very insightful and have a good sense of humor! I think I'm going to start doing daily weigh-ins like you are. You're definitely right that it can help with accountability. Have a wonderful, healthy weekend!
09 Jul 10 by member: ChemistryPirate
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Happy Friday Moose and hope you feel awake soon. I find it amusing that we are both going to meet a new baby today, how awesome is that? Last night I was looking at some of the Forum posts and stumbled upon a documentary that I watched and found it very insightful. A couple light bulbs went off over my head because of it and today I made a few more changes to work my way though this plateau. Do you know we have an afterburner and are wired to overlook some calories? I thought I was doing excellent in that department but honestly didn't calculate my coffee, and watermelon as well as I should have. Anyway, here is the link http://documentaryheaven.com/10-things-you-need-to-know-about-losing-weight/ or perhaps you can find it easier in the forums it is titled "10 things you need to know about losing weight". Very enlightening! TOWANDA!!!
09 Jul 10 by member: Lisa Online
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As always - so insightful Moose...Your daily words of wisdom keep reminding that I must practice more kindness towards me...I'm sure better at it than ever before!! Hope your work day passes quickly and you have an enjoyable weekend...huggggs
09 Jul 10 by member: drd3775
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I have to agree with comment #1: you're the best! Thanks for visiting my journal even though I've been scarce around here. Just so you don't forget me: (((((((((BIG SQUISHY HUGS))))))))))
09 Jul 10 by member: amryk
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Congrats on getting that FULL PAYCHECK. That's gotta feel good. :)
09 Jul 10 by member: Chris1979
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Moose I've been missing you a lot. Reading your journal is an important part of my "healing process" (some call it maintenance lol). Your words are my daily dose of courage, self esteem and acceptance. You are my diet guru! So, if you are more comfortable with daily weigh in go for it, you experimented the weekly ones long enough to know what is better for you. And like Info, your body fluctuates a lot so on a weekly basis it doesn't really tell what is your "real" weight. Hugs my friend!
09 Jul 10 by member: jessyline
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Keeping it off is as hard as losing it - congratulations on hanging in and continuing to live the kind of healthy lifestyle that makes that possible. I hope you have a lovely meeting with your newest family member and a great start to your weekend. :D
09 Jul 10 by member: Amarok
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You are very special to so many of us here. Please remember that when you are having those rough spots. :) Hoping you are feeling better and can get some make up sleep tonight. {{{hugs}}}
09 Jul 10 by member: dawn0001
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Guess what? We're the same weight :) I'm glad we're buddies here because I feel we are kindred spirits. I agree with Lisa, that documentary is FANTASTIC. I've sent it to all my office mates and posted it on Facebook. Definitely recommend to all. Thanks for stopping by to comment. It means a lot to me that so many people here are so supportive. I won't let a few negative encounters stop me :)
09 Jul 10 by member: k8yk
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Moose...WOW, what a GREAT journal entry:) I really needed to read these words today. I have been so "unkind" to myself for years. I really don't know why, but it's something I'll be doing some soul searching about. In fact...it is something I was planning on journalling about later today, so thanks for the reminder:) Have a blessed day:)
09 Jul 10 by member: Tammy1625
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Just outta curiosity...is meeting the new family part of your job? It sounds very interesting to say the least!
09 Jul 10 by member: Tammy1625
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Moose I love your journal entry. You are so open and share so much of yourself. Thank you for trusting us with this. As far as weighing in goes. I usually weigh once a week but if I feel I have over indulged I will pop on the scale to see which way I am going. I only record once a week with what it says on weigh in day. I hope you had a great Friday. I got your pm and will reply to you from home. I am having a very crazy day today.
09 Jul 10 by member: chattycathy1955
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Your gratitude is much appreciated - I believe my life is in a supportive environment with Fatsecret too.
09 Jul 10 by member: abbadabba
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Tammy ... yes meeting the new family is a part of my job!! How lucky am I??? I work for an early intervention program that serves children birth to three years old.
09 Jul 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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I hope everything is OK with you moose, I've been a little tied up lately and not been able to get around as much as usual. Have a great weekend.
10 Jul 10 by member: information
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mmm did he say he was tied up? I have visions! lol Hi Moose guess I am in one of those moods again.
10 Jul 10 by member: chattycathy1955
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