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I was thinking today that I haven't written a really reflective journal entry in a while, and given the contrasts of the past two weeks -- the Cubs' specatular win and the election nightmare -- I've been an emotional wreck, but not so inwardly focused that I've missed the fact that there are a lot of FS'ers really struggling these days.
It's been six years since I stumbled onto FS and began this journey. In that time, I've gone from 234 to 155, a 79-pound loss. While I'll never be an athlete, I've become a physically active person, and I have far more energy than I've had in years. I look great, considering I am a nearly-65-year-old person, get lots of compliments from friends and family, and I have a sense of physical and mental well-being (well, until last Tuesday) that I'm not sure I've ever felt before.
When I began the journey, I was just emerging from the ravages -- physical, emotional and financial -- of an 18-month disability from two serious injuries. While I was disabled, the nation fell into the grip of the Great Recession, and my business came undone. I managed to secure a full-time job, but it didn't last, and in the meantime, my Mom got sick -- terminally ill -- and life seemed completely up for grabs. The result was a roller coaster of weight loss -- down to 185 back up to 214 and now back down to 155. This seems permanent now, and while I would love to lose another 20 pounds, I think I would actually be quite satisfied if I managed to stay at this weight forever.
When I read the FS journals these days, I read them with a bit more distance or perspective than when I first started the process, and was searching for answer. I don't mean that to sound superior. Every single one of us on FS it at risk for falling down the rabbit hole and emerging on the other side as a fat person again, and I am not so deluded as to believe I am immune.
But these days I'm feeling pretty successful, and i wanted to share that I think my success over the past 2 years is due to the fact that I'm eating a very sensible and sustainable diet that takes weight off, even if very slowly, if I consistently eat fewer calories than I use and that will maintain my weight at goal if I balance input and output long-term. And second, the reason my way of eating is sustainable is that, with the exception of foodstuffs I cannot eat because of IBS, there is nothing extreme about how I eat. My diet is balanced at pretty much 60/40 proteins + fats to carbs, and the majority of my carbs are derived rom dairy, fruits, vegetables, occasional root veggies and whole grain substitutes, like buckwheat and quinoa or oats. My diet is low-glycemic and portion- and calorie-controlled.
It took me a very long time to get to this place, and honestly, I'm not sure I would have found it if it hadn't been for the IBS, which got wheat and a lot of other carbs out of my diet. But I did find it, and although I know everyone has to find their own way, I am really concerned for a few FS'ers whose journaling suggests that they are still struggling to develop a sustainable way of eating and a healthier relationship with food -- and that they may be doing their bodies significant damage by binging and then starving themselves. Eating 1,000 calories per day is NOT healthy, no matter what you weigh. And I'm convinced that it's because of that kind of extreme dieting that many women, myself included, spend most of their lives bouncing from overweight to thin and back again. For years I went on 3-6-month diets at 900-1200 calories per day. I would lose 30-40-50 pounds, and then I couldn't take it anymore and I would fall off the wagon and gain it all back.
Now -- I've lost 79 pounds by eating 1300-1600 calories per day. I am almost never hungry, and when I am I EAT SOMETHING! The differencs is that what I eat is a cheese stick or an ounce of pumpkin seeds or a yogurt or sometimes 2 oz of turkey with a good tasty mustard or my wierdest but quite healthy snack, herring in vinegar. When I crave ice cream, I make some, and have a measured portion of "clean" ice cream made without all the added stuff in the storebought kind. It's delicious and incredibly satisfying, especially when it's a few and far between kind of snack. And I make sure that I have other treats available that can satisfy my sweet tooth without doing huge damage to the balance I've tried to strike between complex carbs and fats and protein. Oat flour blueberry muffins are one of my favorites.
I know this is not for everyone and I don't mean to say that it is -- but I guess I have just been feeling worried about people having such a hard time right now. Please don't wait until you are an old person like me to find this balance, to come to a place where you can eat relatively normally and forgive yourself easily for the occasional dish of ice cream. I so wish that I had done this 25 years ago. I know it would have changed my life in so many important ways.
Good luck everyone, and thanks for all the support you have offered me here. I probably won't be around much during the holiday season, which has already gotten underway in my family thanks to a long visit from my sisters, friends in from Iowa, and now I'm off to FLorida for Thanksgiving. It's difficult to track food when you are eating out or at friend's homes, but I know what I have to do, and I will stick to the plan. Last year I gained 5 pounds over the holidays, but I managed to lose them right away. This year my goal is to continue my slow loss even with the holidays intervening, but, realistically, I think I will be satisfied if on January 1, I weigh 155.6 pounds. Keep your fingers crossed.
Diet Calendar Entries for 12 November 2016:
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1430 kcal
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Fat: 46.55g | Prot: 96.70g | Carb: 161.64g.
Breakfast: Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Evergood Chicken Chorizo Sausage, Cooked Egg White, Home Fries with Green or Red Peppers and Onions. Lunch: Trader Joe's Extra Dark Chocolate Wedges, Salmon Salad, Grapefruit (Pink and Red). Dinner: Sole Bonta Roasted Tomatoes, Buckwheat Groats (Cooked, Roasted), Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar, Bell Peppers, Cooked Green String Beans, Safeway Turkey Meatloaf. Snacks/Other: Milk (Nonfat), Starbucks Chewy Chocolate Meringue Cookie. more...
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2015 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Driving - 54 minutes, Shopping - 20 minutes, Sitting - 5 hours and 30 minutes, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 30 minutes, Cooking in Kitchen - 30 minutes, Sleeping - 7 hours, Resting - 9 hours and 6 minutes, Clearing/washing dishes - 10 minutes. more...
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