jsfantome's Journal, 10 November 2011

Sometimes our greatest "need" is a big, deep EXHALE! This site is full of people who’s lives become connected to our own. And with that, people experience all of life’s ‘troubles’ with one another. Thank God for that. For some of us, it becomes the sanity in our insanity!!!

From breakups, to divorce…from death, to sickness and worry… from kids, and hubby’s, and aging parents…from lost jobs to near financial destruction, … it’s all there. The ups and the downs. The stress…and the constant pressures of life can be OVERWHELMING!

And while trying to keep some perspective from each of these life challenges…there is a constant thread of wanting to maintain our norm…and focus on the things we do have an ability to control… our weight and our eating habits and our commitment to daily activity.

Sometimes, I think it IS the much need distraction to focus on, while all the rest swirls around me. Other times, I just have to ‘sit with’ the various concerns of my heart, and whisper to my Lord – I need you… one more time. (Good thing that is not the only time I talk to Him)

My husband sometimes tells me I am too sensitive. – How can that be? Really. How can one be too sensitive. Are you not just either sensitive or not. Do I care tooooo deeply. Is there such a thing? And more than that, is it his way of justifying not being sensitive – because he prefers the ‘disconnect = no involvement” lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong… I couldn’t love my husband more if I tried…and God knows we have had our issues! But he has some areas (self-professed) to work on. And becoming the Emotional Leader of our family…is one of them. However, he views emotion, as a weakness. So this becomes a rather ‘difficult’ topic for us in our abilities to communicate and give and receive support from one another.

Whoa – how does he fit into all of this??? Well, I was chatting w/ him early this morning about how my heart wanted to focus on the ‘moment’ the ‘situation’ the ‘care and concern’ I was experiencing for someone else… but my head was saying…stay in the game, focus, …for the first time in months you are making headway! (Weighed in to a slight decrease!!!) And then I started to feel guilty. – Seriously – Who wants to come on here and get all WHOOO HOO and all that over my stupid little decrease, when they are walking in their own troubles at the moment.

And when I was dealing w/ the skin cancer, or the threat of a lump being removed and was it cancer ?? When I was dealing w/ my Dad’s death, or constantly dealing w/ my Mom and all those issues… I sometimes do miss the excitement someone else is feeling over their ‘one little pound’ ! I had my moment in the ‘sun’ – this morning, while standing on the scale. I cheered myself on as I looked in the mirror. And I’m good with that.

And that is when I realized the need to EXHALE. To move outside of our troubles, and have some little thing to focus on that seems to keep the horizon steady. So, if you want to Whooop it Up with me.. great! And if you just need to exhale on my journal this morning, that’s ok too! Cry, scream, vent away… I’ve been there. And I am happy to hold your hand, and support you if you need to go there yourself!

But then I hope you find your way back to making YOU a priority. Every minute of every day… you can still force yourself to live in the moment, choose wisely, and stay focused on ‘stupid little goals’ we fight so hard to achieve. – It makes us human. And gives us wonderful diversion to an otherwise stressful day.

Love Ya Much!!!

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Comments 
So glad you saw movement (in the right direction) on that damn scale this morning.  
10 Nov 11 by member: sarahsmum
Thanks Issy! (and just for the record, I personally think it's from the Probiotics I have started taking!) 
10 Nov 11 by member: jsfantome
Congrats on the loss Paula..and for the record men are alot like "Spock" too logical..LOL..I even call mine that from time to time..Have a great day...♥♥ 
10 Nov 11 by member: BHA
Thanks Bren! Yeah, tooooo logical! LOL!!! 
10 Nov 11 by member: jsfantome
I saw that little graph bending downward...YAY!!!! I know how hard you've been trying to find the key piece to this last part of your puzzle. Have a wonderful, peaceful day. 
10 Nov 11 by member: Sandy701
Love this entry Jsfantome. It touched me. I completely understand where you are coming from. I know others going through great struggles and feel for them. I want to help in such a great way but can only do so much. It does remind me how blessed I am and to not take it for granted. We all need to exhale from time to time and talk and trust in the Lord.  
10 Nov 11 by member: M.Trublu
You have to give him credit also; he probably weighed the pros and cons and logically decided that you were the babe for him. Don't give up the ship. Guys have emotions just like you girls do, we just learn to deal with them in a raional and methodical manner - most of the time. :) I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 
10 Nov 11 by member: DairyKing
Great job Paula on the loss, I understand completely, I think as women and Mothers we are just built that way to care, I think men are made different it's in our genes....hey talking of jeans.....you will be getting into the next size down tehe.....{{{HUGS}}} 
10 Nov 11 by member: Yvonne19
Yessss!! I think it's wonderful to really appreciate each and every victory! You've worked so hard to get where you are, so, WOO HOO! I was cut off from FS for a week while I helped to care for my dad who was hospitalized, I really felt cut off from this little group I've grown to love and be concerned with. I finally had the time this morning to get online, and the first place I want was to FS so that I could see what's going on with my buddies! 
11 Nov 11 by member: Carlys Mom
Hey, Paula...I am exhaling, and celebrating with you!! Have an awesome weekend!!!!! 
11 Nov 11 by member: ctlss

     
 

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