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First I want to apologize to my buddies for my last journal. I'm glad I didn't say what I really meant to say b/c this isn't the place for me to say it. It was wrong & unfair of me to choose this venue to vent in the direction I was trying to go. I think that with everything that's going on I needed to get it out of my head. I had been putting off setting up appointments with my counselor for various reasons but finally did, so that I can say the things that I need to say without it coming off as pointing the finger or straight sucker punching someone in the face. The world & my life are what they are, how I feel about that is something I don't need to bring here. That being said, I apologize. I know it may come off as bizarre but even though you guys may not know what I was intending or feeling, I do; therefore I feel it necessary to own up to it & say sorry.
Now it just feels weird to transition after that . . .
Had an abbreviated session w/ my new personal trainer on Fri. We had to end early b/c I had been sick to my stomach all day but didn't want to reschedule. He was really nice about it & decided not to count it as a session so that I didn't get charged. I was so sick I literally couldn't look anywhere but up b/c I was going to puke. [My stomach has issue w/ fresh spinach & I've been shoving TONS of it into my system. My stomach finally rebelled. The rest of my spinach must be cooked & put into quiches. After that no more spinach for a few months.]
My personal trainer seems nice, he's a brand new new hire, so he's still working the kinks out of things, but he does/did personal training at another gym before. The nice thing about a college gym is that they can't & don't push supplements or nutrition advise at all. He's going to really push me, beyond my comfort zone that's for sure. When I met w/ the female personal trainer the previous week she maxed me at a 15 or 18lb kettle bell. This guy won't let me go below 20lbs. Yes I can do it, but damn!! That's what I wanted so I look forward to being punished twice a week for the next 9 wks. If I can make it through 30 mins while being sick I think I'll survive in the long run. He'll be taking a 2nd set of measurements so I'll have double the documentation on my progress.
That's all for now. I have tons of hw to catch up on for school & a paper to write early b/c I'm going to see Rob Zombie on Wed night. I'd much rather enjoy it than stress about a paper being due the next morning. Hope you all enjoy the Superbowl if you watch it (I don't, lol).
Diet Calendar Entries for 06 February 2011:
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1605 kcal
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Fat: 77.35g | Prot: 56.36g | Carb: 182.63g.
Breakfast: GOLEAN Crunchy! Bars - Chocolate Caramel. Lunch: Whole Wheat Penne Pasta, Bell Peppers, California Avocados, Cherry Tomatoes, Feta Cheese, Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar. Dinner: Nonfat Peach Greek Yogurt, Organic Golden Flax (Ground), El Monterey Chimichanga. Snacks/Other: Lay's Wavy Hidden Valley Ranch Flavored Potato Chips. more...
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 Comments
You gotta push it sometimes...I got lazy for a bit and just did the bare min in wgts...it just isn't enough...I'm really going to bring it on next week. And you have no reason to apologize...I'm one of the ones that whines about a pound here and there....stupid numbers. Once again I admire you for pushing through even though I know this is difficult for you...I will be right here supporting you :)
06 Feb 11 by member: smartin585
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Yeah, I know about pushing myself but a good trainer usually knows how to get that extra 10% out of you. It's what I call the "I can't" zone (even though you can). One thing for sure, I'm going to make him count my reps out loud or we'll start butting heads b/c I give up too soon if I don't see an end in sight. I think he'll be fine w/ that. And thank you for your continued support, it does mean a lot to me ;0)
06 Feb 11 by member: Evil_Angel_Shay
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It's your journal and you have the right to say whatever you want and feel when you are writing it. I admire you for pushing for the hard workouts. Awesome job!
06 Feb 11 by member: ceceps
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Thanks Ceceps! : ) I know it's my journal & I can say what I want but I also know there is a time & place for everything. Knowing all the different types of people on here made me realize this is not the place for me to freely speak my true mind. And I'm ok w/ that, really. I think a few factors that day pushed me over my line. Like I said, it wasn't out there for everyone else to see but I know what I meant & felt. In the end I wasn't alright w/ me for doing that.
06 Feb 11 by member: Evil_Angel_Shay
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Girl, please. You know you don't have to apologize for writing what you feel. And I totally understand the feeling of wanting to withdraw, even partially, from this community because of not being able to relate. I've felt like that a few times. I'll also say that I see how hard you have worked at all of this, changing up strategies & so on, & as your buddy it frustrates me to not see your hard work pay off on the scale. And I really don't know what to say sometimes that would be the most helpful & supportive to you. So to switch gears...hooray for the awesome new trainer! I can absolutely relate to the not seeing an end in sight. Sometimes I'll cover up the time on the treadmill so I won't keep looking, but I always uncover it after a certain point because I need to know how much longer I have to hang on!! J, even though the scale is being a jackass you are doing your body a world of good with all this exercise & healthy eating so I hope that counts for something at least. ;)
06 Feb 11 by member: kstubblefield
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Thanks Kat! You pretty much hit the nail on its head. As for the treadmill, if I'm not doing intervals then it's the most god awful, neverending workout ever! Everytime I read about you jogging I have flashbacks to my 1 & only 15 min jog that seemed to never end. Lol. One day I'll get back to it but backing off the cardio for now. I'm hoping at the very least I'm reversing or combating the damage of stress to my body through exercise & food. I can only hope = )
07 Feb 11 by member: Evil_Angel_Shay
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Every time I pass a bus bench I think about you doing step aerobics on one while waiting on a ride! I remember reading that thinking, "holy crap this chick is friggin awesome!" LOL! I even channeled you one day when I got to class early a few weeks ago...my class building had 4 stories plus the basement level & I went up & down the stairs a total of 3 times while I was waiting = 30 flights. ;)
07 Feb 11 by member: kstubblefield
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Don't apologize for voicing how you feel girl. This is YOUR journal and it's therapeutic to be able to vent somewhere...why not here? But just keep on pushing and experimenting and I know you will find what works for you! We're all here to support each other and you are such a great motivator. You really push it to the limit!
07 Feb 11 by member: summer_rain529
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Damn I wanna see Rob Zombie!! Can I come with you?!?! LOL! Hey congrats on the training, that's is so cool that you're doing that! As far as the other stuff goes, I don't think there's anything to be sorry about - you said what you felt and that happens...we're human. :) I don't feel like I fit in at times at well and don't relate to some things here--but I appreciate the people and posts that I do relate to. I'm glad your here and glad you're not 'punching someone in the face'. I said those same exact words today and REALLY felt like doing it!! I think I even envisioned it! LMAO!!! =D ((But I didn't!! HahahHa!)) Good luck with those sweet-ass workouts!
08 Feb 11 by member: macarooon
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