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Measurement Day
Weight: Nov 3: 240
Biceps: L:15 R:15
Bust: 43
Underbust: 37.25
Waist: 44
Hips: 53
Thighs: L:30.5 R:30
Calves: L:18 R:17.5
Neck: 13
BF%: 49.3%
BMI: 39.4
Weight: Feb 1: 244 (+4)
Biceps: L:16.5 R:15.5 (+1.5) (+.5)
Bust: 43 (0)
Underbust: 37.25 (0)
Waist: 42.5 (-1.5)
Hips: 51.75 (-1.25)
Thighs: L:30.5 R:30 (0) (0)
Calves: L:18 R:17.5 (0) (0)
Neck: 13 (0)
Not enough of a difference to even total. The biceps are still swollen from my meeting w/ a personal trainer last week, as well as the scale # still working it's way down. Just a repeat of last summer when I started lifting weights.
I have alot to say but not a ton of time to say it.
1) I drop all my challenges b/c they were making me scale obsessed & people are so serious about it that I'm only hurting my "teams" by staying.
2) Going back to weighing in once a month. Not bothering w/ it this month b/c I'm guessing I'm going to be bouncing all around the 240s for a bit.
3) I've been quiet for a multitude of reasons. I joined this site looking for a place to "fit" in but I don't. The more I look around, the more I realize I don't. Every weight loss group I have been in since I was 10 has been the same. I'm not normal & my body doesn't work like the average person. So I can't sympathize when someone has a fit over losing only 1 lb or the scale fluctuating up one day then dropping the next. I've done quite well not to say the things I feel like saying when I see so many things on this site.
That being said, I'm not going anywhere but I'm not sure how my involvement will continue. I had a moment w/ myself yesterday that hit me pretty hard, but it's very true. Everything I've ever done in life, I've done alone. I'm the only one who can champion for myself. I know if anything I'll be using my journals to document my workouts & I'll still log my food. By the grace of the universe if there's another alien out there like me perhaps my info will help someone.
This is just me being honest. This isn't about me having a bad day, being depressed or anything like that. I've felt like this for awhile, but like all "social" situations, I push myself to really try to fit when I know I don't. I'm sure I'll keep reading journals w/o commenting. I do truly wish everyone the best of success on each of your journeys. ;0)
So I'll be around, kind of like a ghost, here but not doing much interaction.
Diet Calendar Entries for 01 February 2011:
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1582 kcal
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Fat: 84.69g | Prot: 71.71g | Carb: 121.73g.
Breakfast: Quaker Chewy Bar, Extra Fancy Nut Mix, Stringsters Low Moisture Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese. Lunch: Cinemark Popcorn, 90 Calorie Chewy Bars - Chocolate Peanut Butter. Dinner: Sweet Basil & Parmesan Gourmet Chicken Meatballs, Champagne Pear Vinaigrette, Nonfat Plain Greek Yogurt, Cherry Tomatoes, Feta Cheese, Avocado, Bell Peppers. Snacks/Other: Stringsters Low Moisture Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese, Black Tea Bags, Organic Raw Blue Agave Syrup, Non-dairy Coffee Creamer. more...
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 Comments
Just know I"m still watching and supporting you. I know you have a lot going on in your household and last year wasn't great, but I also know walking Bidwell is no small thing and you were doing it regularly. I hope to be in Chico in May for a few day...what do you say about Plutos and a walk in the park? :)
01 Feb 11 by member: smartin585
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Oh Sweetie, so sorry. I understand that you want to share the journey with someone who is like you. And I understand that you don't want people making suggestions for you that won't work for you. But try not to let people's angst over the fluctuations and the resisting scale upset you. That is just where some people are. And it helps them fit in, and support one another. And the main thing of fitting in, at least I think, is people caring about one another. Lots of people contacted you when you weren't here, so that should show you that many people care about you. You could set your profile so that only buddies can see what you write. That way you won't get random people saying stuff to you that wouldn't be helpful. Whatever you decide, please know that many do really care about you and wish you success in all areas of your life, not just weight loss. HUGS!
02 Feb 11 by member: ceceps
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Yeah, I hear you. There are a lot of people here for different reasons. Some are here to whine about how fat they are, some are here to starve themselves, some are here to market their diets to others and many other irritating reasons. But most are here to lose weight, get healthy, and support each other. We don't have to be the same to support each other. I wish I had another buddy w the same issues as you so I could hook you up! It seems like there's got to be someone else with similar issues somewhere around here... You probably just haven't found each other yet. Either way, I hope you find the support you need somewhere in life. Keep searching. Hope you don't disappear completely! I would miss you :(
02 Feb 11 by member: k8yk
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