FullaBella's Journal, 08 July 2013

I do believe I could have been the poster child for mindful eating this weekend. Now, normally posting something that positive in my journal ignites the wild child in me to .. well.. go wild, LOL, but here's hoping I'll be able to step back, watch her, and reassure her enough to the point she doesn't need to act out.

I'd planned Saturday afternoon to go pick up chicken to grill but when looked in the fridge to see if anything else was needed I saw it: The Ham. I'd been 'wanting' a ham sandwich for several 'nights' but managed to talk myself out of it.

Not because I'm ignoring hunger or depriving myself - mind you - because I'm trying to stop that 'I fell asleep in my chair and always want to eat when I first wake up' habit. I've thought a lot about that; maybe my body equates it to 'breaking the fast' that it experienced when sleeping through the night?

Regardless, I thought 'hey, I'm hungry now for real and that sounds great.' And it was. Toasted wheat bread, ham, mayo, sliced tomato, lettuce and smoked gouda. And Lay's potato chips. Yum. Had the grilled chicken yesterday with fresh homemade pasta salad and the leftover squash salad from Saturday. It was great.

I have to wonder (and would probably know if I googled) when the first 'shopping CART' was implemented. Those little hand baskets have become my best tool for shopping. When the basket gets heavy, it's time to stop picking up food because I have a single canvas bag with me and have to carry it all home by foot. Great system.

Saturday night I painted for the first time in weeks and with a total devoid of modesty it was the best I've ever done; even my husband said so. Ironic, I called it 'mindful art' in my head as it was the first time I'd painted something in under 15 minutes but literally set back in my chair and said 'DONE' out loud. I usually have a tendency to over paint, keep messing with it until it's ruined. Hmmm... kind of like eating until uncomfortably full, no?

All levity aside, I want to share something in answer to some questions and comments lately.

I know for all of my candid confessions of my day, life and the dumb things I do it seems silly that I'm vague about my profession, photo, phone numbers and other specifics.

I do so in of respect of my husband's request. He absolutely HATES the familiarity of the internet, Face Book and other type social medias and voiced much trepidation when I told him I'd joined this website. I assured him I would keep the specific details of our life private.

I think you're wonderful and kind and caring people but I don't want to break my promise to him. I hope as my friends you understand.

Sincerely,

Bella

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Comments 
It sounds like your project to minimize the pantry is helping you in more ways than one. Good job eating what you want instead of eating something else then going back to have what you really wanted as well. I totally understand your desire to stay as anonymous as possible. I may share a few more specifics of my life than some but I am still always aware of how much I give away. I'm choosy about the friend requests I accept for the same reason - and when people lurk and don't comment or make themselves known, I get uneasy and usually hit the "remove from my buddies" link. Everyone has their own approach to the internet. It's all about your level of comfort (and knowledge of the risks!). And don't worry, we still enjoy your journals, whoever you are :)  
08 Jul 13 by member: evelyn64
Fulla - I totally know what you mean. My boyfriend hates the idea of me being online. Wow you paint! that's amazing. I used to be very artistic (so I understand what you mean by going overboard), but haven't picked up a pencil/paintbrush in probably about 20 years. My mother is trying to get me back into it. Maybe I'll grab some pencils and sketch pad one day and see if I still have my old touch.  
08 Jul 13 by member: Tamaralynn0480
Sounds like you are doing well Bella!! You have to do what you are comfortable with and those that are your buddies will understand. I don't have a lot of buddies and like Evelyn I tend to reveal lots about myself. If I have buddie requests and they don't bother with me I am quick to hit the remove button too. Hope you are having a great Monday...  
08 Jul 13 by member: chattycathy1955
You & your mindful self sound great! I've been feeling I need a refresher course! But feeling better today:). Glad to hear u r painting again - u r so talented! Hope to see the pic soon? Xoxox 
08 Jul 13 by member: Ruhu
Morning Bella, I wouldn't worry about sharing where you are or who you are. It's great to be anonymous sometimes. Yes, I have shared more of me with some people than others and have even met a couple of my FS buddies but that is rare and special and doesn't happen all the time. So just share as much of yourself as you are comfortable with. What we see we love so you are doing something right. And I am glad you are painting again and also pleased that you liked what you painted. And your ham sandwich with Lays chips - sounds awesome - now I really want some breakfaast. 
09 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
Thank you all for your time and comments as well as your acceptance. It's ironic because if you google my real name (and yes, I've googled myself) I get about 1000 hits and I don't even have a facebook; it's just business related thanks to those web crawlers that create things in your name with or without your permission. I did learn something yesterday that if you google your screen name here with FS you come up in a search so if you're using a real name ... FYI. I think most of my husband's hesitance is watching so much news about women who get killed by someone on Craigslist or FB or something and again, look how easy it is to just find someone. I had to really talk him down when the IRS identity theft happened as he was SURE it had to do with this website somehow. Anyway, thank you all again for accepting me, secrets and all.  
10 Jul 13 by member: FullaBella
I really appreciate what you had to say about your privacy. I feel that I've shared way too much of myself on the internet in the past and am trying to scale it back. This is the one part of my life that is mine and mine alone. I don't mind sharing the struggle with others but there is no reason that I have to identify myself, especially when anything I share here is the most secret part of me that NO ONE else knows but those here. Your journal entry was inspiring and I realize I should probably be more open here. Maybe I'll start sharing more. Thank you. And I love what you said about how you finished your painting and said done. I can completely relate to continuing to mess with things/projects/art, etc until they are ruined. It's a struggle sometimes to let go and not try to perfect something that was perfectly imperfect to begin with. Thanks again for sharing. 
10 Jul 13 by member: madgeta
*Madgeta thank you. I think it's all a ripple effect; the internet came along about the same time all the 'talk shows' started with the 'opening up' and now we feel open and comfortable sharing with virtual strangers. I feel very comfortable here sharing my journals and thoughts because I really need to get some things out, think, evaluate other's opinions and hopefully help others too. I think you would be very safe being open here as I've not met any mean people. Yeah, my painting something can be like trimming my bangs... by the time I get them even I look like I'm back in the third grade :-) 
11 Jul 13 by member: FullaBella

     
 

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