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A soft gentle grin, giving traces of the tiredness he felt, lingered as he gazed into her eyes. He felt a sense of comfort and security as they sat together, enveloped in the moment.
She returned his gaze with a loving, devoted look, knowing that he was feigning his alertness for the mere sake of being with her, but not wanting to lose the moment by sending him away to rest. They chatted casually about the daily going ons and the relaxation in the atmosphere would lull anyone to sleep.
KRRCK! Suddenly there was a sharp but low sound of something breaking.KRRCK KRRCK. Again and again, like the sound of thin ice shattering against the weight of heaviness. Silence. Tears began to seep, almost tiptoeing down her cheeks. Her heart was shattering into a thousand tiny pieces at the sight of the two joyful people in front of her. She had yearned and begged for so many years for such a moment but it never bore fruit. She had just put it down to him not having the capability to express himself but there he was, relaxing, staying awake, talking, actually looking happy. He was pummelling her heart with his actions and she scrambled to reclaim whatever piece was left, wiped her face and walked in with a naive smile. The other woman stood up and walked off. He looked at her walking in and then at the other woman walking out. As if by mutual intuitive agreement, he also stood up and began to straddle to his room, but not before giving a piercing accusative look. She had broken their peace. She had disturbed the emotion. He felt more disdain towards her now then before.
She sat down on the sofa, numb in a state of confusion. What had just happened? The tears that were trickling now began to flow with a vengeance. Her heart, newly patched up, but still full of dark holes, began to pound in defiant anger at the man who dared to taunt its master and owner. Faster and faster like a runner heading for the finishing line. Her head was also waltzing, putting her into a spin, draining her with every twirl.
A soft gentle arm slid across her shoulder. A boy looked at her and said "its not worth it. They're not worth it. You couldn't change anyone for so many years and its not going to happen now. Why put yourself through this constant pain of anticipation or hope?"
She turned to look at his face. This manly, loving face which once was the size of her palm. The boy who once was just a babe in her arms depending on her soothing words for comfort, was now comforting her. She smiled and hugged him and then realized something. She had been looking for love all these years from her husband but she was never lacking in love in the first place. The love of three more than made up for the lack of the love of one. Her husband could love his mother, but they could never experience the intensity of love between her and her children. She had the better deal and it took a fifteen year old to teach her that.
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 Comments
You have a gift for writing because I surely felt like I was reading a best seller. I'm sorry things aren't going well or if they've never went well. You have raised a intelligent, understanding young man. You should be so proud of that seeing that he hasn't had the best example set before him. Hang in there and take care.
26 Aug 08 by member: kimbulie
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what if you could have evrything you want- the love of three, and the love of one...whatever connection he has to his mother ,no matter how unique and special, everyone yearns for that soulmate special intimate partner where the love ,respect, and intimacy all come together...you don't get that with mom. I don't think you should put aside that goal, as long as he is your husband you should have the partner and marriage you deserve. maybe it means erasing years and years of hurt and miscommunications but life is too precious to live in pain- see if mil will watch the kids- get him away for a night or two...to talk,,and other things
26 Aug 08 by member: sharonfriz
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wow...i am so sorry...you do write beautifuly...
26 Aug 08 by member: veggies yuk
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Writing appears to be an excellent vent for you -- if you could write the story of your entire life, you WOULD have a best-seller, which would be only the first of many! THEN you could be self-sufficient if you chose to be. We love you here.
26 Aug 08 by member: gramnbear
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I had to read that twice because I wasn't sure at first if you were quoting a book or if you were telling a story. It breaks my heart that you have to live in a loveless marriage with a MIL who thinks she has to compete with you and a husband who puts his mother first. I am happy you find love with your children and don't ever forget that, but don't let your son's love be a substitute for that of a life partner. I guess that this is a prime example of why they say not to marry a mama's boy. Don't give up on finding the love of your life. Try to find it in your husband, but nobody (here anyway) would blame you in this situation if you thought of leaving. We do love you here, like gramnbear said. I don't know what religion your family is, so I bear with me, there is a word of wisdom in the Bible that says when a man marries he must "leave his family and cleave to his wife" (I wish I could remember the verse, but maybe it doesn't really matter.) This was part of the instructions for establishing a healthy marriage and without that first step, there isn't a lot of hope for a strong family to form. It is a wise saying, in any case. My heart goes out to you.
26 Aug 08 by member: sararay
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My God you are such a talented writer! I wish you didn't have to live it. But I think you should start writing more. Keep a journal yourself, or write a short story. This is so good. And I think its good for you, too!
26 Aug 08 by member: Paige E
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26 Aug 08 by member: mbhpro
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I think you just found your new calling! You should be writting. That's what you could do to get away from it all. You're brilliant!!
27 Aug 08 by member: chefchristabug
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wow... writing like that can only come from a profound ability to capture the heart of a moment. What a rare and beautifully sad piece Libs... my soul aches at what you describe and my heart sends the fondest of wishes for the balm of resolution in your life, however that may come. One gets the feeling that these coming times are going to be most significant for you.. and you do know don't you that if you ever need an ear... just whisper..
28 Aug 08 by member: dave22
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