FullaBella's Journal, 16 April 2013

My husband called me a wanna-be hippie this morning. (Well, he said half-a$$ hippie but I was trying to clean it up). Like, I don't even have enough motivation or ambition to be a full fledged hippie. Dude, seriously?

My days are like 'Field of Dreams' lately ala 'if you build it, they will come.'

I follow that mantra for my eating, the weight loss, the serenity and the health I'm attempting to claim in my life.

The calmness is returning to Bellawood and I actually smile when I hear 'him' say things like 'I'm just not going to let that (insert thing) upset me. The stress isn't good for me.'

I smile, nod, and agree. I will never gloat. Karma hates gloaters.

So I almost fell OUT of my recliner this morning when he not only:
1) muted the Fox & Friends news, but
2) actually asked my opinion.

What? Is this a trick?

He's decided to abandon his latest idea for a new business and... wait for it.. asked 'what kind of business *I* think I would like to run'.

My husband has always been the visionary in our marriage. I'm the behind the scenes tweaker, mopper, financial guru, curtain puller, wardrobe gal. I can definitely help a process and have done so many times.

But to be the originator? I've not had that many chances at that batter box. Need to swing for the fences.

My spontaneous answer to his pop question had all the maturity and financial soundess of a sixteen year old at their first job interview.

'Well, uhm.. you know.. I'd like to do something that inspires me. Something that feeds my soul and leaves a nice footprint after I'm gone. I'd like to connect with people and develop and nurture creativity. You know I like to work with plants and refinish or refurbish furniture. I like to cook. I have always been interested in pottery and sewing and candle making. Maybe we could create a 'Back to Nature, Discover your Inner Creativity' learning Annex and Mall type thing at the warehouse with pottery kilns and cooking classes and ....'

"So basically, you want to just hang out with other people. Where's the money in that?"
'Uh... you know.. merchandising is subtle and not-for-profit corporations are anything but. I think if we build it, the money will come.'

"Sounds like one of those hippie things."
'A commune?'
"Yeah."

'Well, you know.. Oneida flatware started that way ...'
"But that was then, not now... people these days...."
'Hey, I'm a 'people these days' and I don't feel I'm anything unique. If *I* am craving it, others must be as well...'

Despite explaining I was just doing a what-if and brainstorming; that my spur of the moment idea wasn't ready for a blueprint or actual mission statement, he immediately went into the reasons why it wouldn't work. The costs. The risks. The issues. Yikes.

I listened as he recited code violations, even making up a few, and reflected.

I don't know if I want to make money or just feed my own soul.

Can you do both? I have no delusions that Whole Foods isn't a real functioning corporation. I think our little one horse town could use a little hippie-joint. It may take some of the money away from the shrinks but maybe they'll join our little commune too.

I'm getting old. I'm tired. I don't have the gung-ho of decades ago. If the past three generations of women in my family dying of cancer in their 70's has alerted me to anything it is that I'm in the last quarter of my shelf life. I want to pay attention to the time I have left.

I told him that I'm constantly reading journals here where people do things, go places. Exercise, Zumba, wine tasting, etc.

He asked 'are they going somewhere public at a cost or just gathering at friends houses?'
I answered, " I think some of both... what if Bella-Mune contained the best of both worlds? A very relaxed home like place but NOT home so they can come and be themselves without the demands of family ...'

So in a relaxed quest for initial market research I am going to ask. I know it defies a true demographic survey but I am just interested in determining if I have far too much time and too little 'nourishment' around 'me' or if others feel the same as me. Answer if you want or just call me a silly hippie. I don't care. Please don't feel I've been lurking about on FS all this time with an agenda. I'm just asking this from my friends as I would ask anything food, health, or relationship related.

Besides gyms & exercise, because I do read a lot of that and know that activity seems recession proof, what do you do for relax, fun, creativity?
Is it outside your home?
If not, is that of your own choice or schedule restrictions or are you like me - in an area where it doesn't exist?
Would you pay to take a 'creativity' class (craft, cooking, candle making, etc)
If so, what would it be? (which hobby?)
Do you think I'm completely insane?

Thank you as always for reading. Have a wonderful day.
Bella

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 April 2013:
1037 kcal Fat: 41.51g | Prot: 55.20g | Carb: 122.89g.   Breakfast: Bacon, Quaker Old Fashioned Oats, Celery, Onions, Banana Pepper, Kraft Stove Top Chicken Flavor Stuffing Mix, Libby's Crispy Sauerkraut. Dinner: Libby's Crispy Sauerkraut, Baby Spinach, Bell Peppers, Onions, Cucumber (with Peel), Butter, Turkey Breast Meat, Bacon, Tomatoes. Snacks/Other: Cottage Cheese, Spectrum Organic Ground Flaxseed, Schwan's Triple Berry Blend, Spectrum Chia Seeds, Cabot Lowfat 2% Greek-Style Yogurt - Plain. more...
1944 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...

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Comments 
I think if you just sold people free time you could make a fortune. I'd pay by the hour to have a room set up for sewing, with no phone and no way for anyone to bother me. 
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP
I love the idea..I sure there are others that would love to go to a class of their choice to learn a new hobby...I went to an art class and loved it..but there wasn't enough people to keep it going..I already sew and have been since I was old enough to hold and tread a needle..would also love to do some pottery..People need an outlet and those things would do the trick..if you do it at home some one will surely interupt what your doing to help them...been there done that..LOL...If there was such a place here...I jump at the chance..I kinda like the Hippy ways...calm and no worries..yep I just dated my self..but who cares..Thanks for the fun read...:O)...Oh also my DH will ask me for my opinion and then say what ever won't work..why ask me if you don't want my idea...If I say yes he says no..and vice versa..I pick my battles with him...LOL...:O) 
16 Apr 13 by member: BHA
I'm sensing a theme here..."if you do it at home some one will surely inerrupt..." 
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP
Colly - LOL - in the spirit of 'if you build it they will come' it seems our families fall under 'if you try to do it at home, someone will mess with you...' yes, I was thinking of you hiding in your room trying to sew and be creative despite the banging interruptions on the door... I was thinking 'hmm... if only...I could develop such a space...' 
16 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
Bren - ok, you are officially a member of the virtual Bella Commune :-) Welcome hippies! I know, it just seems marriage, for all the good press it gets, well, I wonder if those vows 'til death do us part' made more sense when generations died in their 40's! I don't wish anyone harm but I think there should be loopholes when that constant 'arguing' and battling ensues. 
16 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
I think it's a guy thing-they seem to think we want them to solve problems. Not sure why they'd think we'd trust the problem solving abilities of the guy we've been trying to convince to do simply household repairs for the last 2 years... 
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP
Or simple ones either. 
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP
You'd need a special section for "pet free hobby pursuit" because every time I try to lay out a pattern or pin it onto fabric, I have cats. They just appear. One of them likes to get a running start and slide under the pattern pieces, and then pounce about on top of them in case they fail to surrender. The other one seems content to just writhe around on top of the laid out pattern and swat at the scissors (he's the stupid one, BTW) (probably didn't need to explain that). 
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP
I like to get out for the occasional wine tasting and frequent restaurants with groups of friends. On the creatives side, I have taken classes (usually through programs the city puts on) in painting, cooking, drawing. But forget about what we do. I think you should find something you love doing and are passionate about and try to make that marketable, whether it be through giving classes or having a shop or what have you. Passion sells (and I'm not referring to the steamy bedroom stuff!). When a person loves what they do, it rubs off on everyone else and the excitement spreads. Plus, it's something you would look forward to doing as opposed to some form of drudgery. And you could start small. If it's some sort of class you'd like to teach, do a one time thing and gauge the interest. With all of the stuff available through online shopping, actual storefronts are slowly becoming unnecessary. But teaching skills and providing experiences - that's still something that is better when it has a personal touch to it. Anyway, that's just my two cents! 
16 Apr 13 by member: evelyn64
LOL - 'he's the stupid one'...  
16 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
Oh so stupid....you really have no idea! LOL 
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP
I agree with what others have shared here, Bella. You must, as the hippies in my neck of the woods say: "follow your bliss." Now, I used to think they were nuts (and maybe they were/are) but there's something to it. However, in my opinion, it really has to be about the "bliss" the thing that "honks your horn" and NOT about the money. In my experience, people who want to get away from it all - and there are a lot of us - come in all shapes and sizes...and financial means. So, do your homework, find out what the market will bear ($20/class or $50/hour for "Bella's Bliss") and then go for it... Or, try doing it on a donation basis with a "suggested" minimum donation. I thought I'd teach French b/c I love it so much and found others who loved it, too. However, they couldn't afford the $50/hr one-on-one rate so we formed a small class, each paying $10, they did most of the work and I just provided a safe (no family, no phone, no pets) environment where they could learn, gather, be a community, share a "hobby", etc. And learn they did! Each at her own pace but each one learned, gained confidence and came away feeling like she'd done something with her little passion.... Voila! Bonne Chance et Bon Courage! 
16 Apr 13 by member: Sweet Ce
Bella, the only private space I can find is the bathroom so I would definitely say finding a place to go for 'whatever' would be a good idea. We don't know we are creative sometimes until we try things. For those of us still working its hard to find the time/commitment to do anything after work except stretch on the couch and wish for energy. Good luck with any exploit you get up to, I can't imagine you would fail at anything. And I agree that the 'til death do us part' thing was definitely thunk up when life spans were shorter :) 
16 Apr 13 by member: sarahsmum
There is a lot to be said for that-my husband now does what he always wanted to do, and that is a man that loves his job. Thus, he's a man that is generally pretty easy to live with. He does not, as Evelyn64 says, view it as drudgery, he truly loves his work. Even if he could make more money doing something else, I would never ask him to do so. There's a lot more to life than money. I wonder why your hubs asked you that? Or was it just making conversation? 
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP
@Evelyn - thank you. I definitely agree with the need for passion and that's why I felt somewhat immature verbally designing my dream business plan with things *I* want to do but I've already been there, done that, of all things career related. In no way though do I envision 'me', the Disaster Queen of the DYI projects (oy, you should see the lawn chair I tried to paint this weekend!) being the instructor ~ I was thinking of trying to recruit really skilled people for the teachings. Maybe I want something inbetween a Lowes and a Starbucks. With cookies. And a couch.  
16 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
@Isabel - you know from my journals 90% of my inspiration comes from hiding out in the bathroom so I can identify. My 'church' is out the door from there so once I pass the bathroom threshold I feel like I'm 'thisclose' to heaven. My favorite creations have been when I just start, absolutely no plan, and begin. For several months I was decorating table top holiday trees for my husband. He had one for Valentines day, St. Patricks, MardiGras and Easter. It was a way of putting a little holiday in his life while confined to his recliner in the living room. Visitors would compliment and want to know 'WHERE DID YOU GET THAT' and especially the Valentine tree with the hearts & roses one man insisted I make him one for his wife next year. I think we can surprise ourselves when we're not afraid to try OR listen to that voice in our head that tell us we CANT, or SHOULDNT or try to tell us why IT will NEVER work. 
16 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
@Colly - what are you asking... why he asked 'what do you want to do?'  
16 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
@Ce - thank you. Definitely looking for bliss here. And I like the idea - pay less, you do more of the work. I'm hoping 'whoever' has a class there can pay the light bill / insurance / taxes on the building for that 'night' and eventually maybe the students sell their creations in their section or something. Not everything in the world starts in a manufacturing plant. Funny, whenever people around me use profanity they'll say 'pardon my French' so I have a full French vocabulary, it would seem, LOL ;-) I think it's fantastic you teach. I HAVE instructed things in business but never creativity.  
16 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
Back to the Hippies...How about a communal garden? With a course of "Bella's way to diet and health". I think many of us are glad we don't have to pay for what you are teaching us and I think many would gladly pay for your help. 
16 Apr 13 by member: 2toofat
Bella-yes, I'm just wondering what prompted that turn in the conversation!  
16 Apr 13 by member: CollyMP

     
 

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