Debobonn's Journal, 10 April 2018

AWESOME! Great loss! 

So, after a few years ofditching Atkins while I battled and survived 2 different types of cancer,(Whoopie!), I am so happy to say that I have been back in the groove now for a few months. What I know now, that I didn't get before, is this: My body physically loves Atkins. My brain loves it. Without it, I am depressed, craving empty foods, sugar and more sugar (which by the way, cancer loves--they inject a sugar solution for the scans to see if there is more activity or cells because the cancer cells glom on to the sugar, so I'm told..that's how they find them) sad, achy, with no vitality whatsoever. I blamed it on the "chemo" after effects or chemo as I laid around stagnant for months after the chemo ended waiting for my energy to return. Within 3 days of clearing out the sugar and Carbs I got my "unfoggy" brain back, my joints did not ache and my energy gets better every day. I went through my normal crying about how unfair it was that I couldn't eat as much of whatever I wanted to eat and feel good -- of course. But I just told myself to start small and think about making my next bite be Atkins, and no further than that. I also started to realize for the first time in my life, that grieving and feeling so sorry for myself that my body chemistry was such an unfair and onerous condition to manage, was a waste of my precious time. I want to live and feel good. I didn't get through two different types of cancer at the same time only to feel lousy and exhausted just cause I felt like I should be able to eat whatever I want. That's not my reality. And since the first time that I ever tried Atkins, there are sooooo many more ingredients and options available to make it what I think is the easiest food plan of all to follow. And for the first time in my life, which I attribute to one of the gifts I learned during the cancer journey, I asked for help and shared that all my life, I have wanted to be at a healthy weight and I don't want to go out never having been able to keep a promise to myself or to attain my life long dream. And as the universe so often does, the right people were there and were able to help me feel hopeful again, enough to make my next bite be Atkins. I don't have to worry about clothes fitting, pain, foggy brain, exhaustion, depression or all the other havoc that sugar and carbs wreak in my life and body if I just make my next bite Atkins. I've been doing it now since early March. And I just thought I would check back in here today. And I looked at all the recipes and food entries that I had figured out and was amazed at the work I had already done. Plus I found a bunch of recipes that I loved that I had forgotten about. So I'm glad I checked back in. Today, it is feeling easy. It may not feel that way in the next minute or tonight or tomorrow, or it might. I don't know. But I know that because I have shared my desires with those I love, all I have to do it call them, or share with others going through the same struggles and I can manage this, nuture and love myself through caring for myself nutritionally and honsetly, not feel deprived. I have learned to make sugar free ice cream and sorbet. AND other favorite deserts. It's hard to sit with a bowl of delicious gingerbread ice cream or berry sorbet or a delicious sugar free flourless cake or brownie or pie and feel deprived. Anyway, I'm so happy for the on line support available and that I feel so good today.  

Thanks... I am happy for the loss. I also think that today I am going to embrace all that I learned about myself in the past from the obstacles that threw me off course so many times. I have a much bigger "toolbox" to work from now. The hardest part of this has always been my mindset. Once I realized all of the scientific stuff that Dr. Atkins had discovered about sugar and carbs and the way it effected folks like me was true, it took some time to accept it and not doubt it. But for the last 4 or 5 years my biggest obstacle has always been remembering why I wanted to make a healthy food choice be my next bite. So I think that with help from others, I may have re-framed and strengthened the reasons I want to keep eating healthy for the rest of my life. That's a commitment I never grappled with. I was always focused on reaching a "goal" weight, which for me cannot be the focus. I need to really embrace all of the reasons that eating healthy is the best way to nuture myself and feel good.