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hey. first, i'll just say water weight gain again. but i missed a weigh in from last month. I'll write it here just for posterity sake. May 5, 2017 weighted in at 374.6. that was a Dietitian appointment where i was released and given an okay from the dietitian. at the time, i was happy about it. I just didn't bother to record it up here. I've been doing that allot lately and i think i know why now. I'm feeling rebellious these days. even though i've gotten most of my clearances (and even had to repeat one) they aren't any closer to giving me a date. It's been a complete year since i started this whole thing and i'm still not close to having surgery. this has discouraged me a bit. I'm waiting for a behavioral clearance from my therapist and she's waiting until i reached a 40 lbs weight loss. i keep getting just shy of it then bomb water weight gain. this happened last month too. Kinda driving me crazy. then i went thorough it with Medicare and heart Medical about this d*#ned C-pap machine. after months of dealing with this thing, Heart Medical informs me that Medicare has denied my rental due to not meeting the standards of usage. Whatever. They let me go for months and i even got up to what they consider good usage, but it was after the 1 month deadline Medicare needs in order to continue renting the thing. and in all those months of actually reaching the goal, the hospital didn't even bother to record those results. they acted as if they didn't even know i had gotten a sleep study done and had received the machine. I've told them at almost every appointment about this thing because i had issues with it, and because they asked. but no one recorded a thing. so now as far as i'm concerned the 6 months i spent dealing with this thing were a waste of time. actually, wait...i did finally get used to waking up feeling like someone was trying to smother me and hearing Darth Vadar in my room at night. so, i guess that's something. but now, i'm going to have to either pay for the rental or buy a machine. well, Heart medical suggested that i could go for another sleep study. No way! That was the most horrific experience for someone like me..hell, for me. and i refuse to do it again. so, i opt for buying a machine just long enough to have this surgery and then selling it to somone who can use it...or who wants to use it. I've found a website that sells them and it even has the unit i had listed for sale. Luckily for me they offer financing. but i'm gonna see if i can get on on sale and buy it out right. the hospital tells me that i need to have it before surgery and have two weeks of readings in to them before they will schedule the surgery. whatever.
wow, i didn't realize just how pissed i still was about this. I only planned to come up here and record my weight and maybe just say hi. Yep, it's offical, jurnaling is cathargic. Lol.
so i'm just holding on and maintaining. "...and this, too, shall pass."
One piece of great news...well, to me anyway. I've found someone specail to me and we are trying to build a relationship. I won't go into it here since this isn't the place for that. but basically, it's long distance so some care will have to be taken, but it's very promising to me. and that has given me some more motivation to get this done. Luckily for me, he understands the commitment i've made here and is willing to work with me until this is over and i can get on with my life. Yeah. It's been a long time coming and i'm just glad it's here. Praying that it lasts for the duration.
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380.0 lb
Lost so far: 17.4 lb.
Still to go: 30.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 10 June 2017:
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290 kcal
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Fat: 17.00g | Prot: 10.00g | Carb: 25.00g.
Snacks/Other: Goldfish Crackers, whole grain pretzel, Park's Finest. more...
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gaining 0.6 lb a week
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