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Alas, I fell off the wagon and my weight, emotions and mental well being all seen to feel like a roller-coaster. not the good kind.
I have been between 56 to 65 up and down and it's a constant battle for control. Every day is a struggle and this last month has been particularly hard.
I feel like giving up some days and just eating until I hate myself and then other days I just wish I didn't have to eat at all.
I just can't stop thinking about food and i eat and eat and eat and I am just never satisfied. My tummy is full but I don't feel full. I will eat and eat again. I am losing grip and don't know how to stop.
I know it's the worst thing to wish upon oneself, but sometimes I wish I could get some kind of ED that would make me hate food or not eat at all. Why is it so hard.
If only I could develop a healthy relationship with food and maintain my weight without a constant uphill battle. If I don't obsessively monitor what I eat, I will gain half a kilo, easy, every day.
Sigh.
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130.1 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 8.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 23 January 2023:
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1125 kcal
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Fat: 28.27g | Prot: 32.80g | Carb: 184.08g.
Breakfast: Black Tea, Clover Full Cream Fresh Milk, Lettuce Salad with Cheese, Tomato and/or Carrots. Lunch: Tomatoes, Ikea Blueberry Jam, Black Tea, Pineapple, Clover Full Cream Fresh Milk, Naartjie, Clover Full Cream Fresh Milk. Dinner: Zenzai in Winter, Yamitsuki Nori, White Bread. more...
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1468 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 30 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Look up Betterwithbalance on instagram - she has experience with binge eating disorder, and maybe even joining her program would help
26 Jan 23 by member: jigglenomore87
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Thanks for the tip 🙏🙏 i will definitely go check it out. I need all the help I can get 💪
26 Jan 23 by member: Elaine Featherhead
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I really identify with the WAY you described. I know, for me, coming here, logging food. Weigh in once a week til I made goal and by that time...I just kept Keeping on here. I lot of what I developed here...I have to practice one day at a time. So...it takes time. Just keep coming here,,,it works if you work it...or we can help each other fiqure it out. My best to you in these beginning times. Just keep coming. Again, you honest post was a wake up for all of us. 💕
27 Jan 23 by member: Judyrose1997
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27 Jan 23 by member: Judyrose1997
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I can relate! I don't actually GET hungry, because I never allow myself to go that long without eating. My hardest times are in the mornings. I want to eat everything. I've learned to work with my cravings, by allowing myself to eat frequently; but, I make sure that it is measured portions of fruit. Also, I find that I do best if I can still have something I want (like 1/4 of a KitKat every day), so I don't feel deprived on my diet (which is basically just counting calories).
27 Jan 23 by member: Debbie Cousins
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Thank you all for the encouragement. I want to keep fighting the good fight and feel like I can do it when others support me. Your tips are genuinely helpful. I will do my best and take it one day at a time. 💕
27 Jan 23 by member: Elaine Featherhead
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