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Am finally willing to list my weight since it is now below the last recorded one. It had gone up 2 or 3 lbs with the binging on cashews and taken days to go back down. I have now divided the big container into 1ounce servings packed into individual zip lock bags. Originally I had purchased two of those big containers on sale at Costco thinking they would be good to add to my emergency supply. I only had to open a jar and I was off to the races. I couldn't stop. Since joining HealthyWage with Debbie Cousins I better stick to the straight and narrow. I am doing just fine from my starting weight of 134.4 since I have 6 months to lose the 20 lbs I bargained for. That may not seem like much to most people but the lower your weight gets the harder it is to lose. Also as one gets older, it's harder also. Even at 60, I could diet much better. I have pictures of myself in Hawaii at 60 and at 118 I think my weight was great. At 60 I hadn't spread in the middle yet. The following year in Europe at 114 was dandy. I'll be 80 this year, and my back keeps me from exercising much. About 3 years ago at 118, my husband told me I was fat. At 113 he told me I was letting myself go. That must have been pretty near the time of the picture of us I posted on my journal here March 7, 2020, on page 2. I have on burgundy velvet pants and a shell, with a gorgeous leather jacket that matched (thrift store shopping and the jacket used on eBay). This was about 3 years ago. Do I really look like I "seriously" let myself go? No, I don't wear makeup at home, but I keep my hair cut usually every 4 weeks (SuperCuts) and nails done. I've never had a pedicure but I keep my toenails trimmed and polished to match my fingernails (red or burgundy). I used to have flowers on my big toenails but haven't worn those for a few years because I think I am so frou-frou already, I don't want to "separate" myself from others. I always liked to dress up. The picture's not too bad for being about 76 or 77 at the time. At my age, most women have spread in the middle and so have I, plus I have lost 3 inches in height. A year and a half ago I went down to 104 trying to lose my stomach, but couldn't. I don't know how low I want to go this time, but I know I will look very wrinkled as I lose. Actually, I have lost a lot of ground since then. I had a bad and long case of the flu and pneumonia the winter after that picture and I've never regained all my strength back.
I am feeling better emotionally than when I wrote last. It's been quiet here for several days, and the reprieve has given me a chance to recoup. Now I'm just praising the Lord. Yesterday, I went to the bank, Big Lots, CVS pharmacy, the Post Office, Costco for gas, Foods4Less, and Trader Joe's which had a long line. Yes, I was exhausted and even started to weep a tiny bit till I could lay down on the couch on my side and curl to rest my back. I had spent the better part of $300. because I want to start buying some things for emergency supplies. My husband did help me carry them into the garage, which he is only doing about half the time these days. Most of them are not even unpacked yet but since it was about 40 degrees overnight I can get away with it. He told me I should stop buying extra stuff and I replied I don't agree. Surprisingly that was the end of the conversation FOR NOW.
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127.8 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 14.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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losing 0.3 lb a week
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 Comments
Well, in the picture on March 7th, you look thin and fabulous. Your husband looks like he could lose a few pounds. You look like you could be too skinny if you lost more weight in that pic. Health in one thing, so I don't know if you need to lose a few pounds or not. Just reading this, I would lose the husband though. He sounds like a dick.
27 Jan 21 by member: EggBeater42
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You are just perfect. Perfect. For your age. For whatever age. Such a pity all this emotional abuse you live...
27 Jan 21 by member: Tassos67
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You are a gorgeous lady inside and out! You are my personal hero for many reasons. Stay strong, stay healthy and stay YOU!
27 Jan 21 by member: SandrainTexas
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Stand tall and keep that chin up Snow! His verbal abuse is a reflection of who he is, not who you are. 💛
27 Jan 21 by member: shirfleur 1
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Yeah, nuts can really stall you.
27 Jan 21 by member: Chow moore
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Dear EggBeater42, thank you so much for your kind words to me and support. Yes, I was thin. As I mentioned the picture was from about 3 years ago. I weighed about 113 and was around a size 4. That's why it hurt so much that he said I was letting myself "go". I'm 3 or 4 sizes bigger now, and at 5'1" it really shows. Losing that 3" in height and my bad back has affected me a lot. May I please tell you a little about my husband. He is 84 years old and has been in the hospital 6 times in the last 16 months, the last time having kidney failure. His kidneys seem to have stabilized for now and he's better. He does have memory loss, but has not been diagnosed with dementia. He has had a small stroke and at least 6 TIA's (mini-strokes). I left 3 times when our children were young, but there is no way I could leave him now. He couldn't make it on his own. His temper is trigger-quick, maybe that's part of changes to his brain. He certainly can be rude, unkind, unthoughtful, arrogant, and even downright mean sometimes. Frankly, I will whisper to you, yes sometimes I think he is a dick too. I suppose I can say he has always been somewhat critical of me but loves me dearly. This summer we will have been married 60 years. A few of those years were 90% good with 10% bad, and many were just the opposite. Maybe it's 50/50 now, I change my mind often. I promised "for better or for worse", and desire to finish my course with honor. If your loved one had cancer or some other illness, you wouldn't abandon them. Brain changes are an illness too. About 4 months ago he was talking suicide, saying he just didn't want to bother with life. That seems selfish to me, with a daughter with stage 4 cancer, that needs loving support. Look at all the older people dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer's. It's way, way too late to lose him. I think I will put this as a comment to your last journal since I don't know if you will be back to mine. Sorry if I hijacked your journal, but just wanted to respond to you. Thank you again for your kindness. I do feel alone a lot of the time.
28 Jan 21 by member: Snowwhite100
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Thank you all for your support, it means so much to me. I'm a little embarrassed to put up a three-year-old picture that looks better than I do now, but you are all so kind. It's been a hard three years, especially this last one, for so many of us. You are truly my Fatsecret friends.
28 Jan 21 by member: Snowwhite100
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