|
So, the Mother-in-law is moving here from Texas on Saturday. She will be staying at our place for at least two weeks until her new apartment is ready. I am stressing.
1) She is downright mean to me. The words are "sugary", but very passive aggressive - I am not good with indirect insults - I do much better if one just says that you dislike me and tell me the reasons why. (Please note that the hubs and I have been married for 27 years - I have been able to ignore her all this time and suffer through the one or two week a year visits). Now she will be local all the time.
2) She is morbidly obese, and will need to sleep in the living room sitting up in the Lazy-Boy.
3) She is vegetarian.
4) My husband (and his sis) who are in TX right now are horrifically fatigued and stressed with all her demands.
5) Taxes are due SOON.
6) Work has been kicking my butt this month. One can only do so many 60 hour weeks in a row...
Sigh. Keep me in your thoughts all...you may be my psychologists for the next few weeks (or months if it all goes bad)...
Diet Calendar Entry for 04 April 2019:
|
2236 kcal
|
Fat: 66.99g | Prot: 91.26g | Carb: 168.76g.
Breakfast: Kroger Thick Cut Bacon, Egg, Seattle Baking Company Cracked Wheat Sourdough. Lunch: Asparagus, Beef Rib Eye (Small End, Trimmed to 0" Fat, Choice Grade). Dinner: Kikkoman Tempura Dipping Sauce, Butter (Salted), White Rice (Short-Grain, Cooked), Kroger Ribeye Steak, Corona Corona Extra. Snacks/Other: Kind Healthy Grains Oats & Honey Clusters, Kind Healthy Grains Oats & Honey Clusters, Corona Corona Extra. more...
|
|
 Comments
I have a mean relative like that, and when that person is being mean, I try to remind myself of two things: 1. they are the one who has a problem, not me and 2. it must be miserable being them, never happy, always mean spirited, no joy in their lives.
05 Apr 19 by member: shirfleur 1
|
how can you be morbidly obese and a vegetarian?
05 Apr 19 by member: cybershy1
|
That is tough. Hopefully she will be able to move out as fast as possible. Establish your peaceful place mentally free of MIL in the house or outside and go there often.
05 Apr 19 by member: liv001
|
I’m not the best for this type of thing. I respond to passive aggressiveness with passive aggressiveness. I’m usually aggressive with things because I’m the type that likes facts over feelings. I like brutal honesty. And I’m childish, so I would fart on her every time I walk by. I wouldn’t do that, lol. Keep your head up. We are all here for you. I’ve been here two days and the people here are amazing.
05 Apr 19 by member: herronjeremy
|
Cybershy... Same thought. Lots of Mac and cheese? Idk. And I agree with herronjeremy... Treat her the same way. I, too, am brutally honest... That's not a bad thing.
05 Apr 19 by member: davidsprincess
|
just remember, "why bless your heart," is a sweet sounding response filled with a thousand tiny knives. you and the hubby should make a practice of taking a walk together before bed to have some alone time out of her circle of influence.
05 Apr 19 by member: Katsolo
|
Tit for tat? That’s only going to elevate the situation. Hard to believe a vegetarian being morbidly obese. Be strong but be kind to yourself. 🤗
05 Apr 19 by member: Chow moore
|
Lots of meditation and focusing on the fact that it is temporary will help. My MIL dislikes me (claims I am just overly sensitive), but I don't confront her anywhere but in MY home. I'll defer and hold my tongue everywhere else, but in MY house I will make it very clear that she will treat me with respect, OR she will be staying at the cheapest hotel I can find. She hasn't tested me yet, but my husband knows it is NOT an empty threat. His mother will always be his mother and nothing will ever change that, however, marrying me WAS a choice. Remaining married to me is also a choice.
05 Apr 19 by member: ConiMN
|
If she's staying with you and is as you say 'Vegetarian", perhaps you can help her with her obesity by making vegetarian meals that are comprised of less fatty processed foods and more real vegetable based dishes. We all know that we are less pleasant when we don't feel well and eating better helps us all feel better. It may also help you with the stress of her visit, by being able to elicit input from her on the menu planning, or dish preparations. You'll be surprised how many vegetarian dishes are as tasty or even better tasting than those made with meat. If the rest of the family insists on some kind of meat with their meals, well there's always roasting a chicken, or baking fish that's generally an easy side to compliment just about anything else you prepare. I'm not saying that this will change a 27 year passive aggressive relationship, but it may give you a starting point for moving forward now that she'll be playing a larger roll in your day to day living.
05 Apr 19 by member: jeannieselby
|
You at least can get away from her while at work! and if things get too stressful, you can get a motel room for yourself.
05 Apr 19 by member: gz9gjg
|
Thanks all for your advice! Ironically @Gz9gjg, I work from home full time. Thankfully my office is in the basement.
05 Apr 19 by member: jazzylittleone
|
Oh my ... that is a lot of stress!
05 Apr 19 by member: FullaBella
|
prayers4you! 😮😬🙄😑Try your best to not let the stress consume you....we don't want cortisol coursing through your body....
05 Apr 19 by member: wright2018
|
personally, i dont out up with that kind of garbage.. i dont care if you're the Pope.. if you're gonna talk to me like i'm an idiot and think that you're gonna sit up in MY HOME and do it?? lol, you're gonna get back what you're dishing out, at the very least. i dont believe in being "polite" just because it's family.. but that's just me.
05 Apr 19 by member: QueenMari3
|
sounds like a couple of very stressful weeks. She sounds like a miserable, sad woman. It is probably a "long shot" but perhaps if you rise above her passive / aggressive behavior and treat her like a guest in your home, sometimes people can surprise you. You are predicting a terrible time but perhaps there could be some good moments, look for those times. Good Luck!
05 Apr 19 by member: Little Red Fox
|
I love you people! Thanks for your advice. The hubs will be having a talk with her that although I am down in the basement at work, I simply will not be available at her beck and call. Although she is morbidly obese, she can still kind of get around and make her own lunch and use the restroom (but she currently gets help with a shower that she only does once a week, which I cannot do - I will pay one of my friend's CNA kiddos to help her with that if I need to). And worse case scenario, I can arrange some meetings up in Seattle (three hours one way) that I "have" to attend in person, and can piggyback a visit to my kiddo who is attending school up there. My boss is onboard with that LOL ! You guys are all the best!
06 Apr 19 by member: jazzylittleone
|
Hooray for out if town meetings!! Lol 😁 i wish you well. Sounds like you've got a plan. 😉
06 Apr 19 by member: QueenMari3
|
Morbidly obese, sleeping in your recliner and showering one time a week. PM me your address and I will send you some Febreeze.
06 Apr 19 by member: davidsprincess
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
jazzylittleone's weight history
|