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I wish I was one of those people who can't eat when they're stressed! I would lose all my weight in no time at all! My daughter is going through a really hard time right now, and I'm carrying the weight of it, too. She and my two grandchildren are looking at becoming homeless, as my daughter's boyfriend (3-year-old grandson's dad) is threatening to give her 30 days to GET OUT.
He is verbally and emotionally abusive, and she has virtually NO self-image anymore. I just took them drinking water and ginger ale because he just went to the store and intentionally did NOT get them because my daughter had said they needed them. Then, he actually took all the food he bought and LOCKED it in the garage where they can't get to it! He actually brought in toilet paper, paper towels and milk, and told them not to touch them!
My daughter is trying to get public housing, but there is a LONG waiting list. No matter WHAT happens, it will continue to be a stress for me. If she moves out, she will have to get a full-time job, and I'll have to watch the little one all the time.
I went over there two days this week and helped her clean to try to appease him. We worked our butts off, and he still was not happy -- in fact, he was MAD that he found out I helped her! She doesn't have a vacuum, or a mop, or Windex, or paper towels, yet she is supposed to have an immaculate house. No, she's not the BEST housekeeper in the world, but we had it looking REALLY good, and he still complains!
She's depressed! She also has a broken tooth which is giving her a lot of pain, and both kids have been sick this week and she's had to take care of them. I'm doing what I can to help. My knees have been KILLING me, but I took a pain pill to allow me to be able to help her. Yesterday, I did a LOT of stuff here at home, but refused to take another pill because I don't want to get addicted to them (Hydrocodone). At least it allowed me to help her those two days!
Went to bed shortly after 8pm. Now, it's after midnight. Have taken 10mg Ambien, a Rozerem (sleep aid) and an anxiety pill (over a 4-hour period) and still I'm awake. Just got up and had a cup of Sleepytime Tea and one piece of toast with butter and peanut butter on it. Usually I'm a person who escapes to sleep when I am stressed or depressed. Now, sleep escapes ME!
Did some praying about the family situations and my out-of-control eating. Who knows, maybe my miracle-working God will surprise me in the morning with renewed resolve, peace and victory! He's done things like this before, and I know He CAN do it again. The good thing is, He can work while I'm sound asleep - so I'm going to take Him up on that deal and crawl back into the bed.
Night, all. May God bless each of you in your struggles and help you to rise above them triumphantly!
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 Comments
23 Nov 19 by member: jcmama777
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I think this sounds like criminal behavior. Court case here a husband got lots of jail time for this kind of treatment.
24 Nov 19 by member: liv001
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I presume you are from US, over here we have seem to have a better support system.
24 Nov 19 by member: Chestnut63
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24 Nov 19 by member: daveruddat
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There is help out there but you have to research your area. Here we have the Spring for women. Call information and ask. your daughter has to want the help.
24 Nov 19 by member: clairsheart
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There are plenty of sources in the US. And plenty of support systems in place. Churches, social services, shelters, and the list goes on. As my mother was a former board of director for Unity Home I learned about a plethora of services especially for women and children. Most places do not waste resources on outward publicizing for 2 big reasons. 1. Cost (money could be going to helping not advertising), 2. (And the most important) The need for safety. Women and children are often relocated to stay hidden from potential issues while awaiting legal, physical, and emotional help. I’ve seen these places in action and they do help. But, these are places you need to search out. Contacting a police station for information or walking into social services. Your family is in my prayers!
24 Nov 19 by member: ItsyTZB
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I will pray and send positive thoughts for both you, Debbie, and your daughter. I don't know about where you are, but here, we have a women's shelter. They are an available resource 24/7/365. I needed them once upon a time, and they were gracious, kind, and helped me back on my feet when I didn't think I had it in me to do it for myself. Debbie, I understand you are struggling... take good gentle care of yourself. Once again you are in my thoughts.
24 Nov 19 by member: juliejbird
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Itsy, agree. I was going to suggest a women's shelter. I was in one with my 3 kids years ago and it was a huge relief. We were safe, had food a place to sleep, support from others in the same situation, counseling for my self, my kids and eventually my DH. They can often also help find jobs and housing. Abuse centers can often boost one up in a wait list for affordable housing. Debbie, also don't forget to take of you. Without taking car of you, you can't help her. Be strong.
24 Nov 19 by member: wholefoodnut
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takes car of you it should have said.
24 Nov 19 by member: wholefoodnut
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I agree with Julie and WFN, a women's shelter is what your daughter needs. Call 211, they will help you locate one in your area. And yes, you need to take care of yourself. Wishing peace for you and your family. 💛💚💜
24 Nov 19 by member: shirfleur 1
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Your daughter and you must know she has to get out of that situation now. It will only get worse. All that house cleaning won't clean up an abusive person. Please help her make immediate plans on an escape route. There are a lot of great suggestions by other members here. Let the available programs help or contact local churches. They have helped people in situations you describe.
24 Nov 19 by member: kattay
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Hello old friend! I am sorry you have such a burden to carry. My prayers and good thoughts are coming your way.
On another note, I wanted to thank you for the challenge invitations. I have been through a lot recently. My 98 yr old mother-in-law who resided with us for almost 13 years has passed peacefully just recently. I still care for my wheelchair bound father in our home. But my waistline is suffering and my bras are getting so tight I must do something soon! I will try to get back in the fat secret groove soon! Until then, good luck and God bless!
24 Nov 19 by member: iulani
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I am SO sorry that your daughter is going through this and that you have to watch her go through it. I hope and pray that a solution presents itself ASAP! I've been through a similar experience and my kids and I made it through. it wasn't easy, but I'm stronger and wiser for it. This is my hope for your daughter.
24 Nov 19 by member: JuJoMa81
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All things are possible thru Jesus Christ.
24 Nov 19 by member: Sweet Georgia Peaches
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Praying for you and your family 🙏💛 this shall pass - God is good -
24 Nov 19 by member: CharlieLovesChaplin
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I pray your daughters abusive boyfriend makes a change for the best - and all transitions are smooth -I pray your daughter and the kids find peace even if it means leaving the abusive boyfriend behind
24 Nov 19 by member: CharlieLovesChaplin
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ok I am not understanding this at all. this is abuse. DHS, police, pastor. tell anyone. if I knew where they lived, he would most definitely know he was abusing his FAMILY! I am sorry. they violence is wrong. sometimes it is warranted.
24 Nov 19 by member: JoyHarkey
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About to throw out his son...not giving him food to eat ??? !!!
24 Nov 19 by member: Tassos67
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24 Nov 19 by member: ConeDemon
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It does sound like an abusive situation that calls for an intervention, perhaps a women's shelter. In our area there are safe houses.
24 Nov 19 by member: erikahollister
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