debrafrederick's Journal, 18 January 2024

New gym is going to attract a ton of people. I would suggest finding a chain like PF or YF to get started. Many people there in your shoes, believe me. Best wishes! 

I'm 53 y/o and live in a downtown Denver apartment with young fit professionals "beautiful people" and I felt the "I have no business working out among them" but I put in my head phones and get to work. It costs a lot to live here and I should be able to enjoy the amenities. so I put my head down and once I'm on the treadmill in my own world with my podcast that feeling goes away. plus I'm a gen x and I don't give a ____ about what anyone thinks of me. lol you are improving yourself and people respect that! keep trying! you got this! 

Just showing up is a huge achievement and that commands respect! Everyone there wants to improve themselves so they would not think anything less of you. 

Guys! Thank you so much....my stress levels have returned to the green zone and I don't feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears anymore, I did not think about the number of people who might be in the first...and brand spanking new fitness center. They had a sign out front advertising 3 months for 130.00 bucks, no long term commitments and there was an empty parking space...I just whipped in on impulse. I was in town to pick up dog food and I had an hour before I had to be at work.....I was in my uniform already, so I definitely had no intentions of working out. Poor timing on my part I suppose, I was totally irrational. I'm not shy....I never meet a stranger and I usually have no issues with being in front of a crowd....I am in retail after all and for years I taught first aid and CPR and Defensive driving to all of our new hires. I think that if I had made it past the entryway, I would have been engaged by a sales person and my focus would have left all of the beautiful people....but I did not give it enough time. 🙄 Followed by several hours of self chastisement while I was working.  

It sucks you felt that way- I understand how you feel. I have felt the same way myself. After going a few times you'll find nobody is really paying attention- they're wrapped up in their own stuff. most importantly, you will find how terrific your body feels after becoming more active and having more energy. maybe make a mantra to help you focus on how your body moves and how good it feels- like,- thru motions I calm my emotions ...best of luck 🤙🏼 

I totally hear you! And I could do a speech about how you should overcome it because no one is actually really looking or judging (which is almost 100% true, and IF a random weirdo is judging you then that person is super strange and gross) BUT I have felt the same way and so I look for gyms with retirement age clientele and I LOVE them. I’ve done it in three different cities. So, if you can’t get past the fear, maybe give that a try. 

So, this new gym is the only one in a 30 mile radius of us....it's 10 miles away and it's a small town.....but the surrounding towns don't have a gym...so I'm sure they are striking gold with all the folks who don't want to drive to Vidalia or Statesboro to hit a gym. We have no franchises out here in the sticks. So it's this gym, or continue with home workouts that I'm going to have to buy my own equipment and possibly my own building to do it in!! I've been looking forward to it opening, but I had kinda put it aside in my head during Christmas and New Years. So, I'm reassured that I am not a freak....the loud music was from a dance class I think...my little town I live in has a population of about 1500 people and I don't see all of them at one time, the city the gym is in has about 4,000 and I feel like I saw all of them in the gym..... 

No one is paying attention to you. It’s all in your head and they don’t care that you’re not in shape yet. Working out is a personal sport and they are only in competition with themselves. Don’t worry! Do your thing! Because they’re busy doing their own!!! ;) 

I was very nervous first time I went into one as well. I hope you can find a way to enter again. It is worth it. You are worth it 

I frequently feel the same way going to the gym, it's a totally valid reaction to going to a new gym. What has helped me through such anxiety flares is to literally stop in my tracks and do a reality check, remind myself that I'm here for me, I'm here to do work. And while I'm not going to be a jerk to anyone, I paid my membership fee too, I have every right to be here and everyone else is going to just have to tolerate my presence. If anyone wants to look at you weird or stare, slam down the Uno reverse card on them by smiling and waving. I find that defuses most situations real fast even outside the gym. I'm a shy introvert so it's really out of character for me to act like that but it's a deescalation technique that's always on my tool belt. 

I remember my 1st day in the gym..I was 60 lbs overweight...I was scared to death. Like you, I felt like everyone was staring at me. I finally just figured out that no one was staring and I just closed my mind off and went in. I watched people use machines and if I didn't know how to use it, I asked. The people were so helpful and pretty soon I began to feel at ease. Now I always try to help people if I see them struggling or if they have the " deer in the headlights" look. Remember, you are there for you! You deserve this and take that step, I think you'll be surprised! I'm rooting for you!💜💪 

I feel like the deer in the headlights with some machines. I've been avoiding them at my gym. I use the sauna, the steam room and I'll walk the indoor track. I had that fear of others looking at me. but I think my real biggest fear is looking at myself since the gym is surrounded with mirrors 

I’m a 70 year old male that had a rough few years medically. I was 316 on November 1st, started recording everything that went into my mouth in FS, and restarted serious weight training (the only way to really lose weight). Weighed 278.4 this morning. If you’re ready for my two cents, here I go. When I first went back to the gym, I felt the same as you - oh, I don’t belong here. Everyone is looking and criticizing me. But I have since found out, most of the people there are either in love with themselves or with their phones. Go back, put your headphones on (or in) and do things in your own little world, at your pace. Remember, they can’t influence what you think you need to do at the gym, and frankly in another visit or two, they won’t look, and you won’t care what they think. Get back to work. Best of luck in YOUR journey.  

You might have felt like you didn't belong in that crowd, but helping you get in shape is what gyms are for. You could become their greatest success story! I can't speak for most people, but I have a lot of respect for dieters who make the effort. I would silently root for you to succeed. The only way you would raise the disdain of others would be if you disregarded gym etiquette and didn't wipe your sweat off the machines. 

Our Gym has a wide variety of members. Some are young, some are overweight, some are older. I see all levels of fitness in all ages. We even have a few members that I've seen in a wheelchair, using walkers, canes, with obvious injured limbs. When we first joined Hubby & I signed up with a trainer cause I had no idea where to begin. She showed us the ropes & eventually we both developed our own routines. At first I was intimidated by all the machines & multiple areas in the Gym that I wasn't sure how to use or their purpose. Going with a friend sounds like a good idea. Hubby & I start out on the treadmill together, then do our own separate stretches, core exercises & some free weights. We then do the weight machines....working together on some (alternating sets) & doing some on our own. Most people are there to get healthy & fit, just like you are. They're in their own zone.  

Oh, and we go early afternoon, after the lunch crowd & before most people are off work. There are more older, retired people then. But there is still a mix of ages. It's less crowded, then. 

Hi go straight to a treadmill put your headphones in listen to whatever makes you feel good and while on there just a nice steady walk look around at the people on the machines and you will learn a lot buy just watching and honestly nobody thinks bad stuff there probably thinking hell yes ! Everyone has there own journey and gym people know that that is the safest place to be on your journey. Also watch Mind pump you will learn soooooo much! 

I personally joined a gym for women and it has been the only time I’ve been truly motivated to go to the gym bc there is not the judgement you get at a regular gym!! It’s more comforting being there bc everyone there wants a safe place to be. I still get nervous and anxious at the gym but it’s also telling urself you are there for you and nobody else!! Which is hard but you can do this! 

In those situations, I remember Winston Churchill's words: "When you're 20 you care what everyone thinks. When you're 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks. When you're 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place." 

Is there a friend you can bring with you to the gym? Having someone you can trust and look to for comfort can really help. I used to accompany my mom to the gym :)