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16 June 2014

Hey buddies,

I haven't written here for quite some time.
Things have changed in my life, and I don't know how to deal with change and emotions still.
I have decided to quit my job. Tomorrow is gonna be my last working day.
It is tough. Tomorrow I have to present some results and I am still not finished with the slides.
It has been tough to admit this job is not for me. The stress I absorb it way more than all the advantages I get back.
Still, it's tough to admit my failure... this seemed to be the perfect job, and I haven't felt happy or OK a single day since I have started working there. I really cannot focus anymore when I am sitting at that desk.
I know, I can see this as an opportunity to find out a new profession that makes me feel happy, gives me some sense of accomplishment instead of pure frustration.
I see I need anon-desk job, at least as the next job.
I have been forcing myself to go to the office every day, kept on working on a project I really did not care or like, now I am paying. I feel empty, I feel like none of the things I know I like sounds interesting or fun.
I have stopped going to the climbing gym, swimming, taking pictures, enjoying staying in a park and even hiking.
I feel like I am not able to enjoy anything.
I want to have a break before starting a new job or committing to anything.
This sense of emptiness is pretty strong.

I know somehow things are going to be better in a few months, but at this moment I feel like everything is falling apart in my own world.
I express this with my overeating raptuses. It is my kind of "self punishment" for not being good enough.
I see my past few years and I see I failed so many times.
Left this job and my past one. Ended badly my marriage.
My family is shrinking more and more, and I cannot do much.

I hope I will feel better in the next days.
My partner is supporting me a lot... especially by taking away from me the big package of Ben and Jerry's before I finish eating all of it.
I will try to go through my slideshow for tomorrow.
And maybe go in the nearby town on Wednesday for some retail therapy :)

27 May 2014

Weigh-in: 141.5 lb lost so far: 1.8 lb still to go: 15.9 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Lizzie983's own diet   losing 0.8 lb a week

26 May 2014

Weigh-in: 141.5 lb lost so far: 1.8 lb still to go: 15.9 lb Diet followed N/A

25 May 2014

Hey buddies,

I feel so tired after having been back to Italy for the funeral of my aunt.
Spent the day outdoor, in the sun, having ice cream and coffee with friends.
Just booked a flight to Stockholm for this summer, going there with a friend of mine. Well, I though about giving myself a little present :)
It's a long time I don't visit a new country, so why not?
In the past 4 years I have been travelling so much for work, that I stopped enjoying travelling. And it was among my favourite things in life. So, I am glad to visit Sweden with a friend of mine, and I am pretty sure it's going to be fun!!! :)
We booked cheap hotel and flight, cause I heard from a Swedish friend of mine that it's an expensive place.
I have been thinking for a long time about going on holidays to Amsterdam. I used to live there since my ex husband is Dutch, I missed the city and a good friend of mine who lives there...but somehow I haven't been able to go there since the divorce and I am always postponing planning a weekend there. Maybe it's not the right time :)
And also, I really don't want to meet my ex it's better postponing again :)
I gave myself a week of break from my diet. Starting again from tomorrow :)
I want to start again working out in the morning and going climbing.
Time to call a friend of mine in Italy.

Have a good time, fatsecreteers! :)

21 May 2014

Weigh-in: 142.2 lb lost so far: 1.1 lb still to go: 16.5 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Lizzie983's own diet   gaining 0.5 lb a week

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eternel969 recorded a Journal Entry and a Weigh In at 168.0 lb.
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vickiegu commented on Sweet Ce's Journal Entry.
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Orelm recorded a Weigh In at 191.5 lb.