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14 April 2017

14 April 2017

Well clap clap clippity clap... I changed my (very heavy king sized) bedding this morning in record time and did not get out of breath or have to take a break or limp away with a back ache. Translation... something is working somewhere as evidenced by a little more strength and endurance.

I still haven't actually weighed . again, this is not about a number... but I did record the weigh in from my last doc visit (whenever the heck that was... I have totally forgotten how to calendar)... maybe Dec? I only recorded it because someone commented how well I was doing and I suppose it looked that way with the other weigh ((haha))

As I always plateau at this weight regardless of intake and activity and as it's been that number for nearly two years I feel that is fairly accurate.

Of course the age old 'why' came to mind this morning. Why not 350 or 400? What is it about eating like crap and sitting on my butt that always plateaus there? Mystery still unsolved.

Regardless, between the antidepressants and likely the eating better with the boxed meals... somehow somewhere my body is responding in a positive way. Insert smile.

I am considering changing that weigh in one more time - adding on an extra 99lbs for mental and emotional (99 problems) to track progress on those issues (when I make some). So when and if I do that, today would have been a one pound drop for the issue free bed changing accomplishment. Things like that. I know I know, I'm not using the FS tools right. I'm a rebel like that, LOL.

I do think (or imagine) I will get a before and after weight with the colonic tomorrow. The motivation to try this was based on the movie (Facing the Fat) but it's been more than five minutes ago so don't hold me to these stats. Basically the young man in the movie was 300+ and went on a 55 day water fast. Yes, that seemed a bit risky and extreme and NO, I do not have any plans to do so. But I seem to recall he'd been at least two weeks into the fast of just water and he had a colonic and it made a difference of ... 10-15 pounds? Something like that.

My reaction was 'he's at least ... 20+ years younger than me and had been on water only all that time and still had 'that' in his colon? What could possibly be lingering in mine after twice as many years and no fasting? What could be built up that is preventing my body from fully absorbing the nutrition in the food I'm trying to eat or supplements I take? What's the point of eating better if it's just passing thru - would it be faster just to pour the food directly into the toilet?

So in my usual 'it can't hurt' .. I decided to try it. Will report back as I'm sure you're all breathless with anticipation. Think of it this way, I'm generally full of BS anyway ... I could end up being their star patient!!

Well, the food basket roulette continues as there are a couple more providers I want to try but the front runner at this time is Home Chef. This is based on the meal choices they offer, packaging, quality, and overall attempt to provide a complete meal in a box rather than a 'dish'.

I won't list the 'laggers' for the sake of avoiding a slander lawsuit but HC offers a fruit basket with delivery as well as things like a french baguette with an italian dish I've ordered. I considered that wildly cosmic as one of the other boxes had a great dish I'd prepared (braised chicken with artichokes... a type of soup) and I had just stated 'it would have been so nice with a small baguette.'

Plus HC sent a binder to store the recipe cards and their ice packets are plentiful but small enough to recycle in a lunch box (the others are better suited for picnic coolers). So for now I'll want to get at least two to three more shipments under my belt ( in more ways than one) to evaluate consistency. So there - there is my unpaid review.

So the good news is I figured out a way to upload a photo that doesn't cut the sides off (as when I use the button below) but the bad news is I can't stop it from filling the entire box...

12 April 2017

Dinner last night was a pan of roasted Brussels sprouts lightly coated with coconut oil. Weird craving but that was what I wanted.

It required going to the grocery so I endured that but while there I found an interesting beverage 'Neuro-Sleep'. It supposedly consists of all sleep inducing qualities while being devoid of the other things like lactose and geez, what is that other thing .. gluten! Yeah, that.

And I'm pleased to report 'it' worked. I actually fell asleep and and felt peaceful, not drugged. I wonder what the effect would be if I gave some to Mushy as she didn't give a whit that I may be sleeping peacefully for the first time in decades, she still wanted to go out to potty.

I may have to break the habit of her sleeping with me. While it's warm and soothing to have her snuggled against me that constant 'wakey wakey I need you to take me' is seriously affecting my health.

It was also fantastic to fall asleep in the 'daily' contacts last night .. I didn't do it on purpose but at least when I did wake I didn't have to peel the dried out contacts off my eyes and go soak them. They are superior to my old brand and were still moist. But as they are a daily I just removed them and sat them on the nightstand. Another benefit on top of being able to look at a distance yesterday and not feel as if I were staring thru Vaseline.

It's intriguing to read your journals and have you comment on mine - we're all here for a variety of reasons but were here.

We all have our challenges. For me, a lifetime of morbid obesity except for those rare times I've been able to lose the weight for about 10 months... I have to approach this differently than the person needing to take off their freshman 15, baby weight, or "I just got back from a cruise' weight. Yet, other than realizing, as I have, 'it takes time'... I have tried to approach this in the same method as the FS member with the ten pound goal. Doesn't work. I need to deal with something mental and emotional. I didn't just over do it on a vacation.

However, in no way am I claiming my issue is harder than the person trying to lose the cruise weight. Losing it is easier for me. At this weight I have to make very small changes and the weight would come off. It's the keeping it off where I've failed.

To be normal healthy weight and needing to get the 5-10lbs off... I know it's harder. It requires much more food tweaking and exercise. So that's my way of saying I don't resent those of you in that category. I just appreciate that you recognize the challenges I have in mine.

So I'm in preparation mode for the colonic: no red meat, bread or dairy from now until then. Eliminating red meat isn't that tough; I probably get a craving for a good steak about twice a year. Bread isn't that hard either.

Dairy ... now that's going to be the challenge. I'd just picked up some yogurt last night to try to make smoothies for lunch; easier to prepare and doesn't take me out of the shop. But that will have to wait.

Dang, I just had a thought or question. I always think of red meat as beef; I wonder if they are one and the same. I was thinking about a braut with a salad for lunch. Guess I need to go Google.

12 April 2017

Weigh-in: 305.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 125.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Make Peace with Myself   gaining 0.8 lb a week

11 April 2017

Holy Optics... I can See! Eye Doc visit this morning; a new doc as I could not endure another status quo visit with my doc of 5 years while vision continued to decline.

The first thing the tech did when she saw my contact lenses (I had an extra pair for them to pull the prescription) was 'uhm... No One wears this version anymore... this is a black & white TV in an HD world....' Seriously??

Then the exam where I was told my eyes were very healthy ((thank goodness SOMETHING on me IS) and the reason I couldn't see distances at all was my prescription was backward or upside down - totally wrong for my vision issue hence struggling to see for a year. I can actually see now (with the temps she gave me). Night & day. Black and White. Amazing Grace.

I won't even touch the 'wrong prescription for a year' with my old doc. Just happy it's fixed and I can move on. All I can offer from this is if you too are struggling.. maybe it's time to change clinics. Could be that simple a fix.

I updated my bio yesterday - once again trying to explain why I am back here. I think updating it coincided with someone leaving an unsolicited cryptic yet critical comment on my journal Don't leap down there - it's been deleted followed by doing something for the first time ever and that was wave the 'buddy be gone' wand.

Before ye judge me an egotistical unreasonable bitch, hear me out. I don't mind comments. In fact, I welcome them. Even long rambling ones, LOL. If something I journal get's you to thinking and applying to your own struggles and victories I'm very happy you want to share with me. I don't mind advice ala eliminating certain food groups that may be causing me discomfort. And I don't mind just random sharing remarks whether related to my journal or not.

But if you have a criticism for me wherein you feel the need to remind me this 'is Fat Secret' and in so many words explain that I'm not utilizing the food diary, exercise, weigh in, etc., correctly, well, feel free to private message me and we'll discuss it.

But before you do, start from the 2017 journals and read my bio and you'll maybe understand why I'm approaching my issues in MY journal differently because, well, let's face it... all the tools here are really great, but I'm not utilizing them just yet. I'm starting here. Processing. Cleansing thoughts. Getting back on my feet. Eating fresher with the boxed meals arriving.

I'm not, no, never ever claiming my way is the best way for and and all. Hell, I don't even claim it's the best way for me. But I won't know that until I give this a try.

So enough of that.

I do read and appreciate your helpful comments. And while I understand the benefits of a modified fast I'm actually seeking the 'reboot' of a full three day fast.

I am considering renting a house for a weekend fasting in Dallas in May...maybe on my Birthday (something I can't do here with a fully stocked pantry and fridge) as I've been reading it offers wonderful properties for antibodies. While there I would pamper myself with maybe another colonic one day (if the first one proves beneficial) and massage another day, maybe even a facial or acupuncture or mani-pedi other days. Just a rejuvenation weekend and when I returned home and the first thing I would do my best to eliminate would be lactose products.

Reading up, preparing for the colonic, deciding if this was something I really wanted to do I read 'nutritionists and health advocates note that no species other than human continues to eat milk or dairy after the infant stage.'

There was much follow up about mucus and stuff blocking full passage but I'm going to keep the graphics out of my journal. You can google this stuff. And I do love the dairy so I'm going to seek lactose free items and monitor if the bloat, pain, etc., IF dissipated by the colonic... returns.

Makes sense - the instructions for the colonic include the absence of red meat, dairy and breads for the 48 hours prior.

Regardless, I plan to reintroduce foods one by one to monitor the effect.

After all, it's all in the gut, right?

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