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I still keep up with intermittent fasting for 15 or 16 hours daily. I only had wine one evening in 89 days and only had 4 desserts in 61 days. That equals about 2 desserts a month, and some were only half or croissants. I think that's reasonable, but I'm still not losing any weight. My sciatica is better but my knee was very painful for a couple of weeks. Now that it is better I have started very gently jumping or walking like motions on my little Rebounder which is like a tiny trampoline for inside the house. It has to be gentle since I still have the fractures in L5 vertebra I was born with and 3 bulging disks. I live with quite a bit of pain. I think I will need to give up bread and other high carbs for a time, to be able to lose the 16 pounds I gained after our daughter died. At my size that is at least 2 sizes, and since I am near the top of my weight scale, clothes are a problem since most I own are in smaller sizes.
Today is trash day for us and as I was taking out extra this morning I saw in the regular big black container plus also in the recycling one my husband threw out some of my possessions including a traveling bag and my favorite ice chest. When I tried to take out my traveling bag he grabbed me, shook me around, wrenched my arm, and hit me hard on my other arm, and threatened to smash me in the face and break my teeth. He said he will be throwing away many other better things. Now two hours later my head and arm/wrist hurt. My heart (emotions) hurt worse. We have lived in our home for 52 years and I am grateful to have a roof over our heads and food to eat, even though I have been sleeping on the couch for 10 months since he locked me out of our bedroom. I don't expect anyone to understand why I stay but I only make $530. a month Social Security. Even a garage here rents for $1,500. a month. We only have one car. I was hoping to preserve our home in case I outlive him. I loathe the idea of giving up our home in a court battle to divide it. I'm not really capable with my bad back of moving half of our possessions out and can't afford an apartment. He was in the hospital two weeks ago and has trouble breathing.
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134.2 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 16.6 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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losing 0.1 lb a week
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 Comments
I'm so very sorry you have so much to deal with. I believe you are 1 of the strongest women I know.
I'm keeping you in my prayers 🙏 ❣️
03 Jul 23 by member: 2melons
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I'm so sorry Snow, you deserve so much better. 💚💜💛
03 Jul 23 by member: shirfleur 1
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Thank you for sharing this. I wish there was more we could do to help. At least we can hear you and send you support.
03 Jul 23 by member: erikahollister
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Oh, you dear, dear people. You can't know how much your support means to me. I feel very alone. My friend who understands is in the hospital with Sepsis for the second time this month. I took her a take-out dinner and a few groceries Friday and she must have gone in later that night. Please pray for Jennie. She must be getting weaker and weaker. About a year or more ago they took out part of her intestine and gave her a "bag" and it's never completely healed. At 86, she has so very many physical problems. Thank you my precious FS friends. I so hesitate to share here because of some of the pushback I received in the past. I know what I am doing is unconventional. Probably I brought it on myself this morning by trying to take my travel bag out of the trash but it just seemed so unreasonable. I need the Lord's guidance hour by hour. It wasn't 10 minutes later that he asked me to help him in the yard. I did. Lord, help me to forgive, and give me Your wisdom. Thank you I get to spend all eternity with You, loved and accepted. Amen.
03 Jul 23 by member: Snowwhite100
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I'm sorry, 1. abuse physical or emotional is NOT ACCEPTABLE. you did nothing wrong. prayers going out to you 🙏, please stay safe and healthy.
03 Jul 23 by member: MLaurie7
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Don’t do that SNOW— you are trying to make sense out of this by blaming yourself for making him abuse you. That isn’t how it goes.
03 Jul 23 by member: Kenna Morton
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Does your husband drink? He reminds me of an alcoholic. I hope your wrist and arm feel better soon. I will pray for Jennie. Please keep us updated on her condition. Thanks Snow...sending you a hug and prayers for you and your husband too.
03 Jul 23 by member: bearnoggin
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My prayers are going out for you. Does your state have an elder abuse agency? perhaps you can just talk to them? Financial assistance may be available for someone in your situation.
04 Jul 23 by member: BabyBbomb
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SNOW... Sending you MANY (((HUGS))) and MUCH LOVE ❤️
04 Jul 23 by member: ZenusWarriorPrincess
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Just tried to find a way to message you from the app, and responding to a Journal post was all I could come up with. So sorry I missed this. Sorry your husband is being abusive again (still). I will put you back on the prayer list at church! I honestly don’t know how you are able to cope with everything you have on your plate. I’m sure it is only by the grace of God! I see on my journal that he hit you again within the past couple of days. Because you don’t feel like leaving is an option, and won’t consider putting him in a home or filing charges against him, I’m really at a loss as to what to advise. Personally, I don’t feel like it’s God’s will for you to remain in an abusive situation, but only you can decide what’s right or wrong for yourself. May the Lord ease your sciatica and back pain, calm your husband, and give you peace. Live in Christ, your sister Debbie
04 Jul 23 by member: Debbie Cousins
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Is it possible for you to place your belongings in an area of the house that you can lock so that he can't throw them away?? Not sure what makes him think he has the right to abuse you, but that is a narcissist for sure. Wish there was something we could do to help you.
04 Jul 23 by member: rhontique
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Was it you who had the friend Jennie who has sepsis? Been praying and wondering how she's doing. Sorry if it wasn't you.
07 Jul 23 by member: bearnoggin
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Does your husband have dementia? Sometimes it changes their personality and makes them aggressive.
08 Aug 23 by member: Kay621
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