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I find myself walking a slippery slope. I am making excuses for myself to eat junk that I know that I shouldnt eat.
*"You are always going to be fat" - WRONG, I control my weight, I control what I eat and how much of it.
*"Youve had a bad day, its okay" - WRONG, I can go for a walk, I can eat something good for me, I control my attitude and how I handle the things life throws at me.
*"You have worked hard, you deserve it" - WRONG, I deserve a new shirt, I deserve to get my nails done, I deserve a night out dancing, I deserve a walk in the park, I do not deserve to eat something that will send me spiraling back into bad habits.
*"You are going to fail, you cannot do this, its too hard" - WRONG, I CAN do this, I AM doing this and its only going to get easier as I get back into good habits.
I am so tired of my addiction trying to tell me how to live my life. I am struggling right now, I am struggling because I allowed myself to be lenient on Easter. I ate candy and I shouldnt have. I knew that I cannot control myself, I cannot just have one. I knew that my body would want more and that I wasnt strong enough to tell it no. I knew these things, and I chose to eat the candy anyway. I chose to let my guard down and I am paying for it now. I am fighting cravings again that I already fought, I am fighting demons that I thought I had killed. I hate it. I hate the constant want, the always thinking I am not satisfied. Attitude is a huge part, and lately I have felt like I am failing. I keep saying "I am going to start walking today!" and then I get lazy. I need to get back up, get kicked in the butt, and get going. I dont know what I need right now, but whatever it is, I hope I find it soon!!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 04 April 2018:
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817 kcal
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Fat: 48.05g | Prot: 67.28g | Carb: 15.09g.
Breakfast: Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Regular Coffee. Lunch: Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits Blackened Tenders, Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits Green Beans. Dinner: Hunt's Manwich Heat & Serve Original Sloppy Joe Sauce with Fully Cooked Ground Beef, Frigo Cheese Heads 100% Natural Light String Cheese. more...
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6119 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 7 hours, Sleeping - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Driving - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours. more...
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