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Day 19 of not smoking. I just got up, so I can't report that it's harder or not today. I am really hoping by Day 30 that it gets easier. I just measured myself again today. My measurements, as of today, are 38 1/2 bust, 34 1/2 waist, 35 1/2 hips. Can you believe that? When I lose weight it comes all off of my hips. There is virtually no differentiation between my waist and my hips now - I have no curves, it's straight up and down. It's an unfortunate body shape! When I started I was 46-40-46 wbich is still not an "hourglass" figure but at least I had a waist, albeit a fat one. Now I have no waist. I can't buy a dress to fit because my bust is a size 10, my waist is a size 14, and my hips are a size 6. It sucks. The last time I got down to a size 10 my waist was 28 inches - I guess 15 years later that ain't gonna happen. I would DIE if my waist was below 30 inches. I feel so unfeminine with shrinking boobs and a thick waist with no hips. I am really jealous of other women with nice slim waists and differentiation between their hips. Oh, and other women with beautiful arms. It's so hard not to compare oneself to others. I do it all the time now, I have to admit. And it's so hard to find images of other women's bodies that you actually WANT to look like. Who in the hell, at 40 years old and 5'4", looks at fashion models and wants to look like them or thinks to themselves "Oh, if I just tried hard enough I could look like that." I got over that a long time ago. I used to work in the fashion industry in New York, and trust me, models are so tall and so thin that if you saw them in person you'd feel stupid for ever looking at one and thinking you should look like that or you could look like that. Most of them look like aliens they are so thin - their thighs are the same width as most normal women's arms, and their arms are like matchsticks, not to mention their bones are amazingly long and their pelvis and ribcages are smaller than a 12 year old child. No reasonable woman could ever look at a runway model in person and believe for 5 seconds that shes' "supposed" to look like that. So what's the alternative? Actresses? I hardly think so. There are a few hot actresses with healthy bodies, but a lot of them are starving and there's still the implication that you should try to look like a 22 year old actresses no matter what age you are - even if you're 30! So what's left? A coworker of mine is really into "fitness models". I have checked out a few sites. The fitness models are in enviable physical shape, but they are completely sexualized. Every photo has them lifting up the bottom of their shirt to show the bottom of their breasts, or turning around with their shorts up their rears to show their ass cheeks. Most fitness models look like over the hill exotic dancers. So what in the hell are you supposed to do? I guess you just have to find your own way in this world and get your own body to the point where it pleases you. Dress the way you want to dress, put on as much or as little makeup as you choose, and just do whatever makes you feel comfortable in your own skin.
Diet Calendar Entries for 18 June 2012:
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1434 kcal
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Fat: 66.76g | Prot: 74.90g | Carb: 135.48g.
Breakfast: Sabra hummus, baby carrots, Kraft Light Mayonnaise, Sara Lee Delightful 100% Whole Wheat Bread, Oscar Mayer turkey bacon, romaine lettuce, tomato. Lunch: nectarine, Sargento Reduced Fat Colby Jack Cheese, Kraft Light Mayonnaise, Sara Lee Delightful 100% Wheat Bread, ham. Dinner: ground beef, mexican style beans, fat free sour cream, Tostitos salsa, Kraft fat free cheddar cheese, romaine lettuce. Snacks/Other: Blue Bell No Sugar Added Dutch Chocolate Ice Cream, Atkins Endulge Peanut Butter Cups. more...
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2414 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 11 hours, Driving - 1 hour, Resting - 4 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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