DairyFarmersWife's Journal, 26 January 2018

"In order to find yourself you have to lose yourself." by I missed that part but it was someone in a TED talk.

I love this saying! I probably only love it because I feel like I have lost myself and this gives me hope that I can find myself. Now that I've written that it seems weird. What am I, a set of car keys? I did lose the phone in the freezer once so in a twisted way it does kinda make sense that I could lose myself.

Logging food for the 3rd day. Drinking more water because it's casual Friday and I can wear jeans. Came up with a writing idea that I am going to follow through with because I promised the universe that if it gave me another story idea I would get this one written. Yes.. I read a Brene Brown book and now I'm afraid I won't have any more story ideas because the Universe will get pissed off at me and just skip to the next person who wants to write a book.

Did you know that 3 out of 5 people want to write a book? They then follow this with "but it's a lot of work". Like.. yeah everyone WANTS to write a book. Ya'll are just too lazy to follow through. Yes.. I heard that in the car and may have accidently flipped off the driver next to me. I didn't mean him.... I meant the saying. By the time I mouthed no no not you.. and dramatically pointed to my radio he was pulling away as quickly as he could refusing to make any more eye contact. Lesson? Write a book, and prove the people on the radio wrong and stop flipping people who can't see you off. Unless they are your children.. not that I would EVER do that. At least not that I would admit.

Seriously though... kids and teenagers can be a-holes. Like when you work and commute and are away from home for 11-12 hours a day and still have to make dinner, feed chickens, give baths, and read for 20 minutes because the Kindergarten teacher keeps sending home notes about pointing to words and reading for 20 minutes a day like she doesn't believe you are even attempting to get your 5 yr old to read. Which you do but he's 5 and he has no interest and apparently I have the most entertaining ceiling EVER because that's what he looks at when he reads. Wait.. got lost. Anyways.. when you are busy, exhausted, and don't have a minute to yourself so you tell your kid. "No you can't go to that thing tonight because you are doing something every other night and I don't want to add driving you to ten places to my list of things to do tonight." and then they ask 20 times via text and phone with please.. please I will.. but I really want to go. All this happens while you are at work and you finally answer the phone "WHAT!!!!!" only to see your boss walk up to your office and do a very very quick U-turn. Sure it looked really bad snapping at work and yeah I said no.. over and over again and yeah she is literally going somewhere every other night. Somehow I'm still the bad guy and the universe has imploded in dramatic fashion. Not that I would flip off the angry/sad/someone kicked my puppy kinda mopey teenager. There's no proof I did. Wait.. the 3 yr old might have seen it.. I doubt it though. He was too busy opening all the poptarts to use as toys for his toy skid steer.

Diet Calendar Entry for 26 January 2018:
1446 kcal Fat: 77.38g | Prot: 93.62g | Carb: 100.96g.   Breakfast: Coffee, Great Value Half & Half, Egg, Bob Evans Sausage Breakfast Patty. Lunch: Ready Pac Bistro Turkey & Bacon Cobb Salad. Dinner: Tater Tot Casserole. Snacks/Other: Jack Link's Jalapeño Beef Jerky, Atkins Endulge Caramel Nut Chew Bar, Apples . more...

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Comments 
I love this. Please keep writing. 
26 Jan 18 by member: JackieSpahr
I believe you could publish your journal.  
26 Jan 18 by member: TomLong
Happy to see you! 
26 Jan 18 by member: HCB
Thanks for making me smile - you sound like a mom. my kids all lived to adulthood which I consider a personal success. Good luck on the book - if it is anything like this it will be a hit.  
26 Jan 18 by member: tahoebrun
I love this keep writing more stuff 
26 Jan 18 by member: kinzie1997
I wrote and published several books (in Russian, because that's where i live). Not a big deal :)  
27 Jan 18 by member: zonisyulia
Relax. Some children need to know that reading is fun before they will read. Some are just not old enough to be pushed into it. Before I start ranting, let me just say that I support you. I support any mom who wants the best for her children, which you obviously do. My daughter was nine before the light turned on and she learned to decipher the letters into words and the words into ideas. Before she turned 11, she read The Dark Elf trilogy by R.A. Salvatore. This tome is two and a half inches thick and is listed as 11th grade level, not 11 year old level.  
27 Jan 18 by member: moogiemynes
Also, I have written three books, but getting them published is another thing entirely! I figure that I shall be famous after I die. Someone will find these manuscripts, short stories, and poetry in the trash two hundred years from now, and then think that my crap is gold! 
27 Jan 18 by member: moogiemynes
you feel depressed? or is it just a frustration? 
27 Jan 18 by member: Buhanov

     
 

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