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Bad yesterday has migrated to today. But, I know the cause. My MIL talked of her PhD walk. And mentioned off hand, that she remembers looking up to the audience, and seeing her only child, my sons mother ... AND standing next to this 13 yr old girl..... the pedophile, that had been raping the child for the previous 7 years. In her bedroom, reguraly , every school afternoon, practically.
I did not know the extent.. in duration.....that my son’s mother had endured, twistily enjoyed. And forced to live the shame and pain.
My anger towards my MIL achieved a new level. And the pain, anxiety, the urge to lash out., the pain...shit
Working on accepting. So damned hard....I ate a plate of neighbor delivered chocolate chips cookies. Frick Frick frick. Dear god, dear shivas, dear tantrica I am so out of balance.
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211.7 lb
Lost so far: 15.3 lb.
Still to go: 8.9 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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gaining 28.0 lb a week
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