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Happy New year everyone! I hope you all had a great holiday. I did. I gave myself a break from my WOE and it was great. I'm totally back on the wagon and to be honest, I'm GLAD I am. I was really starting to feel yucky eating all of that crap. It's kind of stressful eating bad. At least it was for me. It's weird. You would THINK it would be the other way around. i felt so out of control, when I really wasn't, but when I don't track my food I feel so lost. I really think it was GOOD for me to take a break as NOW I'm back with a vengence.
I've been reflecting back on my progress, as it's the new year, and I have to say I'm really proud of myself. To date I have lost 102lbs and a total of 40 inches. I started FS on May 4th, 2011. So in 8 months I have been able to accomplish this. BUT. It's NOT just the weight loss that I'm proud of.
1~I'm going to school and will be starting my 2nd semester on Jan 18th. THIS I'm VERY proud of.
2~I'm working everyday to overcome my anxiety and depression WITHOUT meds. I will be honest and say some days this isn't so easy, BUT, I WANT to leave the house now, when 6 months ago, all i wanted to do was stay in our room and hide from the world.
3~I now wear a size 20, and sometimes an 18. I used to wear a really tight 24, which was prob a 26. All of my XXL MENS seatshirts used to be too tight for me. Now I can wear an XL and it's slightly too big. I have huge boobs, though, so womens shirts will always be at leat an XL or larger. But that's ok. =)
4~I can fit into ALL booths at any place we go.
5~I'm learning to love myself for exactly the way I am NOW. I know being skinny isn't going to make me 'happy'. I also know the only person who controls my happiness is ME and I'm the only person i can blame for my sadness. YES, outside influences DO make an impression, but it's how I'm DEALING with all of that, that makes all the difference.
6~I'M WORTHY OF LOVE!!!! Ok, this one isn't so easy either. I sometimes don't think I'm worthy of much, let alone LOVE, but I'm working on it. I CAN say I AM worth going through all of this. Pain and all.
7~I WANT to exercise. Ok, well, let me clarify, I LOVE to walk. I AM going to join the YMCA and start doing other things. This is a slow evolution, BUT I'm moving around every day and walk at least a mile and for me, that is HUGE.
8~I do my hair and wear make-up everyday. I know this may seem silly, but it's not to me. I went at least a year not caring at ALL how I look and well that's just NOT acceptable. I LOVE being a girl and looking pretty.
9~I gave all of my big clothes away. I was holding on to them in case I fell off the wagon and gained all my weight back. BUT I'm NOT going back. It felt good. =)
10~I'm HAPPY. Well, maybe not as happy as I could be, but I'm working on it. I can look into the mirror and not cry. I can go out in public and not think everyone is looking at me. Well, I still walk with my head down, but I'm working on it.
I'm not really making any New Years resolutions because, for me, they don't work. I'm going to continue on the path I'm on and see everything through. I WILL see my goal weight this year. Not sure when, but I KNOW I will.
People say losing weight is hard, for me, the hardest part was mental. I FINALLY made the decision to just freaking do it. No more excuses. No more 'reasons' as to WHY I'm not losing weight. I wasn't losing weight because I wasn't trying. Now I am. I know it's different for everyone one, but I really think if you finally make up your mind to just DO IT, you WILL BE successful.
I wish everyone a successful and healhty year! We CAN reach all of our goals!
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