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Oh hello FS!
Alright, I'm back for the time being. I realized that in 2 days, I will have been a FS member for a year. One year. 365 days.
I took a break back in September because I needed to work on some things in me. I was harboring an unhealthy relationship with food. I never had an eating disorder before, but I was so disjointed in my thinking that food was the enemy. I needed to step away from FS, because I felt as though it was a tool that enabling me to put all my focus on what I was eating. I was weighing myself twice a day, focusing all of my energy on my weight. It wasn't good. I needed to take a step back and decide that maybe my body was happy at 130. I wasn't doing much of anything to keep losing. I had stopped exercising because I was tired. I was tired of putting so much energy and focus into my body and what I was eating. I was tired of feeling bad when I wanted to eat something that wasn't the best choice for me and my goals.
I never truly recovered from my trip to Jamaica. I gained about 4 pounds on that trip in a week, and that was with exercising and swimming everyday. I felt like I had slipped too far. I started to re-evaluate what I was doing. I was also scared. I was losing for a while, so I thought that I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't "Allison: Losing Weight."
I went off, cold turkey. I had to know that I could maintain my weight without obsessing over everything I put in my mouth. Have I gained some weight back? Absolutely. Am I worried about it? Absolutely not. I'm going back to what I was doing, just cutting out some of the less desirable things in my diet. I've started eating potato chips again, and more than one serving at dinner. Not because I'm hungry, I'm usually stuffed beyond the point of recognition after I eat that much.
I will put my true weight in now (I weighed myself this morning, I wasn't shocked, surprised, or digusted with myself in the least, which is a big step for me!)
I may not be journaling all the time, but there will be updates, I'm sure. I hope everyone's journeys are going well. For those of you who are close to your goal. Congratulations! For those of you struggling, keep your chins up, and you know what to do. You will accomplish it, I'm sure.
Diet Calendar Entry for 16 November 2010:
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714 kcal
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Fat: 14.54g | Prot: 54.63g | Carb: 89.72g.
Breakfast: Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Coffee. Lunch: Laughing Cow Light Swiss, Carb Balance Flour Tortillas (Soft Taco Size), Oscar Meyer Deli Sliced Chicken, Frank's Hot Buffalo. Dinner: Spicy Asian Green Beans, Splenda Granulated, Soy Sauce, Corn Starch, Perdue Thin Sliced Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts. Snacks/Other: Nerds, Assorted Flavors Candy Rolls, Quaker Chewy Dark Chocolate Cherry. more...
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