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Good morning!
Phew. What a weekend.
It was SO HARD to find motivation to do anything right this weekend. I did do reasonably well, though, and I think stayed within my RDI.
I did not count calories. At all. Now, that didn't mean that I never considered what I was eating. I considered it all, and I mostly made smart choices.
I've been thinking a lot about the dialogue with you guys in one of the last journals. About nerding the numbers, analyzing every bit.
This week, I'm gonna try NOT to do that, just to try it on for size.
Again, it's a learning experience.
This means that this morning I really have no clue how much I weigh. I know I am heavier, as I can physically tell that I am retaining water, both in the way that I look and the way I feel.
It's okay though, I'm simply gonna do what I normally do.
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It's kinda nice to let go of the reins a little. I don't feel that I am tempted to let go so much that I binge eat all day, I feel a pretty strong "I-got-this"-feeling.
I know that if I don't eat stupid s**t, and if I focus on getting enough proteins, then it's all good. Then I don't really need to count the calories. I think I have said this 20 times in previous journals. It's time to put my money where my mouth is on this.
The same goes for the weight. My Über Smart Smartscale records all my data on an SD card, for statistic analysis later on.
I don't want to mess up those statistics, so I actually DO get on the scale, but I don't look at the numbers at all. Not even a peek. I literally have no idea.
I will give this a week, and weigh in on Saturday, just to see how I am doing. At least, that's the plan. Maybe I will break down crying much before, maybe I'll be stronger than expected and just keep going.
The only real measure I will use is my gut feelings, my ability to estimate whether I'm feeling lighter or heavier (I can usually tell already before I even get out of bed in the morning), and of course - the belt.
I think the belt idea is great. It's a good indicator of when weight is gained, but it's also a very relaxed way to doing it - extremely low tech and basic. Once I need to move the belt out of the last notch, it's time to take action.
The belt is always tight in that notch, so there really isn't a lot of wiggle room. I can't slip all that much.
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Now, the challenge in all this is of course to be ready for the surgery in 2½ months. At this point I NEED to be at 80 kilos again, preferably a little less - unless I have gained a LOT of muscle! I don't expect to gain all that much muscle, so 80 is a good goal.
It's accomplishable, and reasonable.
I'm hoping that changing things up for me will help me reach this goal a little easier.
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This last week was really tough on me. I felt that I struggled a lot - not so much with the food intake, but much more getting my head around everything. Recording food, counting calories, counting protein and fat levels, lowering carbs, doing workout, walking, working, teaching, playing music.
It's a crazy life being Kingkeld. Trust me. I know. :)
I think I just need time off from some of the commitment. It doesn't meant that I need time off from doing right, it just means that maybe it IS okay to be "winging it" just a little more.
Taking the knowledge of the numbers away from me could make me just do okay by default. If I don't know how far I can push it, then it's better to not push it at all.
Once again, eating real food and not junk will not make me consume more calories than I should. It's only when I get into the bad stuff that I go overboard. Obviously, the trick is to not get into bad stuf.
Why can't I just do this every day?
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The first step is of course to kill the sugar cravings that WILL come, especially later in the day. They are here to see me every now and then. I know perfectly well to NOT give in. Saying no to that first piece of anything-sugar is a LOT easier than saying no later.
Apples and other fruit seems to be a good solution for me.
Of course, I forgot to bring fruit - I have tons in the fridge at home, so during my lunch break I will go get some. It will also give me a couple of thousand extra steps on my fitbit counter.
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I'm going great on steps. My stats say I did 117,000 steps last week. I had a goal of 10,000 per day, so even with a lazy day of only 6,600 steps yesterday, I more than reached my goal. Nice.
I'm also doing great on the fitbit estimated calorie burn. I'm at around 3,300 calories burned on average, even with my lazy day yesterday. It's all good.
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I gotta say, I needed the day off yesterday. I just couldn't be bothered to really do anything. The day started off weird, and it was like I just couldn't get a grip on ANYTHING. Everything I touched fell apart. I was grumpy like a sleepy baby.
Still, the day got way better, and I started doing good. I decided to just go with the flow all day, and reboot today.
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So, today I am rebooted.
I'm focused on the mission at hand, and ready to take the challenge of NOT using all the tools that I usually do.
The thing I "fear" the most is that I want/need to make sure to have enough protein. I don't want my training to be compromised by this. I am fixing this by eating lots of meat, and enjoying a large protein shake in the middle of the day. This does NOT wake the carb monster for me, so it should be good. Also, it ups my calorie intake a little - something that I'm probably gonna be needing.
I already did my workout and my walk. I'm good to go.
Looking at myself in the mirror today, I saw that I look more muscular. I wonder if this is related to me feeling heavier? Wife commented on it too. She told me that yesterday she noticed that I looked "beefier". Not fatter, just like I had more meat/muscle. This is a good thing, as long as the layer of fat under my skin doesn't increase, as it would make it harder for the surgeons to get good results.
I really want good results. I want this to be the final surgery, so I can move on. I hate having the doctors and those goals staring at me.
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This essentially means that come January 1st, 2014, I can claim that I am done with the whole thing.
I can move away from any kind of weight loss, stay in maintenance mode, and work on getting fitter, stronger, healthier. They're all great goals.
Of course, there will ALWAYS be goals. There will always be effort in maintaining weight. There will always be hard working in staying fit. It's totally worth it, though.
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Today, I'm thankful for:
- A great night's sleep.
- Full focus.
- Feeling great, even if I'm heavier. I'm okay with it.
- Morning coffee.
- A great, heavy workout.
- Audiobooks.
- Wife.
- Teaching tonight.
Life is good!
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