|
Still trying to pull myself out of the grip of this lingering funk the right brain thumped the left brain and demanded it find a statistical logic behind all of this. Math has always provided answers and while it seemed lame in high school I did later realize most of life's mysteries can be solved by using algebra.
Subtracting the random but short lived periods I've lost weight I've been overweight, actually morbidly obese, nearly 85% of my life. Additionally, the past weight loss processes no doubt factored in their own lion share of physiological damage as well because of the eating disorders, well, That's a lot of years from which to recover.
I recall reading or hearing somewhere once that after five years of not smoking the heart can sometimes recover to the 'pre-smoking' status. I don't know if that's true but it's interesting some study assigned a time and expectation.
I wondered if there was such a statistic for recovering from obesity. But there I go again, jumping ahead. I'm still obese by most standards. Too early to begin a countdown on the 'recovery' calendar especially in recognition the clock never stops running on my life.
So in answer to my lingering puzzlement on 'why' I don't 'feel better' - I'm being unrealistic to have any expectations, period. Ten months of 'eating better' isn't likely going to reverse four decades of 'eating really badly" at this stage of the game. 5D - 10M is not linear to 2D.
It's more likely that what I'm doing now is probably just mopping the deck on the ocean liner of AGE. Rather than feeling frustrated I don't feel 'better' I'll just remember to recognize 'I could feel even worse.'
It's not sexy but today, it'll have to do.
Bella
|
 Comments
LOL - Bella - you aren't sexy but you will have to do. That is me most days, heck I don't know if I will ever be sexy, or feel sexy again. Sexy is over-rated - lol. I will settle for a day with no pain/discomfort and a good BM. Sad, eh? You know you are getting old when a good BM makes your day - I crack myself up. Yep, I have been doing this for about 3 years now and like you I have overweight all my life. Brief periods when I was thinner but never kept that way for very long. Personally I don't look too far into the future, it's kinda scary and generally anything I think about too hard, or dream about, goes to shit anyway so short term (for me) is best. I am going to Scotland in October and Florida in February 2014 and I will be thinner for both those occasions. I might not be 'normal' thinner but I will be less than 190 lb that's for sure and having been 250 for a long time, anything less than 200 is enough to be going on with. In a way I hope you never figure it out fully because if you figure it out you might not need us anymore and that would suck! Big hugs and lots of sunshine :)
26 Jun 13 by member: sarahsmum
|
You may not think you are sexy or feel sexy, but starting on this healthy eating & living journey and sticking with it, is very sexy in my book! You have come so far -- that deck is not only mopped, but hand scrubbed & polished! xoxox
26 Jun 13 by member: Ruhu
|
All hands on deck! LOL... sorry, couldn't resist the allusion to your ocean liner of age ;) I don't know if we ever "get over" our past, no matter what it held. But we CAN move on, stop dwelling, focus on the future and all that kind of thing. It really serves us little purpose to keep looking back - moving forward requires our eyes on where we are going, not where we've been! Of course, that doesn't mean we shouldn't take lessons from our mistakes or enjoy moments of reminiscing. Like my new mantra says: "where attention goes, energy flows." So let's give our attention to the things we can change. The past isn't one of them :)
26 Jun 13 by member: evelyn64
|
Oh Bella..the thoughts you have..I have to agree with Ruhu..taking care of you is sexy..we are never happy with our selves...I am still going to the XXL blouses and then realize I can't wear them any more..that will put a smile on your face..and thats sexy..think about it..You are unique there is not another one like you..that means your special..Now smile..thats it..love it when you do that...Hugs...:O)
|
Yes Bella Smile!!! Yes Bella 10 months of doing the right stuff is wonderful. It does matter... It does make you healthier. Be positive..Be happy...keep doing it!! It is worth it! You are worth it!!! Hugs!
26 Jun 13 by member: chattycathy1955
|
2 very useful words taught to me by a friend who had endured much: 'oh well'
27 Jun 13 by member: cerobit
|
Hold the phone, ladies! Bella didn't say SHE isn't sexy...she said her obesity math isn't sexy, lol....it never is...(sigh)
27 Jun 13 by member: Baxie
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
FullaBella's weight history
|