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"I have sailed this impossible ocean
I have sailed this crazy sea
I can never be what you want,
whatever you want me to be"
Johnny Clegg and Savuka
I've always admired this singer and his 'mates, both for political boldness during apartheid and for relationship themed lyrics.
Can one ever deliver all that is desired by one's partner? Should? When does self end and placating begin?
I'm in a holding pattern now, dependent on others for transportation and am unable to do much of what gave me identity, self, worth.
oh well, if things hold I will be driving by June. maybe working at some point too. And fishing the Fla. backwaters w/ my boy.
ION, Completed PT/OT today w/ a tech whose name begins w/ "A" can't rember rest. She is good. manipulated shoulder vigorously and did lunges + fine motor LH drills.
Didn't puke either which is a plus, but am worn out. expected after week off due to chemo.
Diet Calendar Entries for 15 April 2013:
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2378 kcal
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Fat: 184.01g | Prot: 80.00g | Carb: 111.25g.
Breakfast: McDonald's Premium Roast Coffee (Large), McDonald's Coffee Creamer, McDonald's Sausage Burrito, Land O' Lakes heavy whipping cream, Folgers Classic Roast Instant Coffee. Lunch: Now Foods MCT Oil, Land O' Lakes heavy whipping cream, Cinnamon, Pacific Natural Foods Organic Unsweetened Almond Milk, Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa, Biropharma, Ltd. AWGE. Dinner: Avocados, Muller Greek Corner Lowfat Yogurt with Caramelized Almonds, Blueberries, Grape Tomatoes, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Cardini's Caesar Salad Dressing, Atlantic Salmon (Sam's Club). more...
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3315 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Conditioning exercise (health club) - 45 minutes, Exercise machine (moderate) - 10 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 5 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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