Eringiffin's Journal, 23 January 2013

I found out today that my client officially requested someone else to take my place. So, in the morning I will go to the bench. Times are tough at my company. If I am on the bench for too long, I will get laid off. With my husband quitting his job last week, this is really putting a strain on us. He was counting on me keeping this job until he can get his thing going. Well, they haven't canned me yet, so no sense worrying about it.

I just find myself reflecting on the mistakes I made that got me here and I am starting to wonder if I have really hit total burnout. I lack the desire to be the hero that I used to have when I started this career. The cynicism of being unappreciated coupled with a mismatch in my skill set to the jobs at hand has taken the wind out of my sails. Should I think about changing careers? I don't know what else I would be good at.

The counseling session with my dad and stepmom went pretty well I thought. The focus seems to be shifting to what we can do in the future to promote a safe, respectful family environment instead of rehashing old resentments. I still lost my cool once or twice. It doesn't help that TOM just arrived and I am feeling like an emotional minefield.

But through all of this, I have to remind myself that I still have so much to be thankful for. I was just thinking today how amazing it is that everything is perfectly timed in our solar system to provide abundant life on the planet, including the little 'wobble' on the axis which gives both the north and south hemispheres a change in the seasons.
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No worries mate, keep ur confidence rolling and give ur best. A bit a prayer every day will keep ur worries away !! Good luck.. 
23 Jan 13 by member: issac80
That is a great idea to focus on the future. You can re-live the past, but you can't change it! I hope work will work itself out.  
23 Jan 13 by member: schmetterling34
Very positive attitude! Good for you. 
23 Jan 13 by member: FullaBella
I am impressed with your lack of panic and binge eating. That is a sign of control and confidence that you're strong enough to handle what ever is coming next. And that is huge!! Stay strong, you're doing great.  
23 Jan 13 by member: Rubie-sue
If you have lost your passion for your job you should look at something else, but I can see with your husband unemployed maybe not the best time. But you can start thinking about it and researching what it would take to change careers. I'm stuck in an annoying depressing job and it takes a toll emotionally and physically. I'm too close to retirement to look at a career change though. 
23 Jan 13 by member: fatoldlady
TOM in not time to think. I now rely on my my ovuview app to warn me. I don't know you but hang in there! take their money and do your best. maybe it's the company and not your career, but if you are trained/schooled on that field, maybe there is a different branch you'd enjoy better, frankly, work drives me crazy. sounds like your doing well try to let work go and enjoy time off too. 
23 Jan 13 by member: Lizzygracemusic
Sorry that you're having so much anxiety right now, and commend you for being able to concentrate on weight loss at all. However, I am a little confused, and this isn't really any of my business, but you do keep mentioning it: with all the issues that you and your husband are facing right now, why are you attending counseling sessions with your Dad and Step-mother? On the job issue, have you ever just asked the boss what you could change that would benefit the company more? Even if you know what that is, it might help to let the boss know that you are concerned enough to try and make a difference. IMHO. 
23 Jan 13 by member: DairyKing

     
 

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