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A month without recording everything I eat. I just don't think I am ready to not record. I continue to work out and have used that as an excuse to not record everything I put in my mouth. I have lost inches, but I have gained a couple of pounds. NOT a trend that I want to continue.
Is there a way to strike a balance? I want to work out and lose weight, but after I work out, I could eat the wallpaper off the walls I am so hungry. This is compounded by the fact that I workout after work, drive a half hour home, and by that time, it is into the "dinner hour" by a substantial amount. If I lived in a fairy tale land where dinner was ready for me when I got home, that would be ideal. Unfortunately, I live in single parent, full time worker, and parent to teenagers land. I am lucky that the dishes are done when I get home and the house is still standing.
My personal stress level continues to be alarmingly high. My father has fallen three times since being put into a skilled nursing facility. The first two ended with him contracting pneumonia and the fall this past week resulted in a black eye and stitches over his eye. He is wheel chair bound and the chance of him leaving the chair are dwindling. Mom at home by herself is a mess. Her blindness is so hard to manage without the daily input of someone that is sighted.
Today we meet with a facility that can take them both - Mom to assisted living and Dad to skilled nursing. At least they would be in the same building and alleviate the nearly daily trips to the nursing home so that they can "see" each other. I try very had not to begrudge and bemoan this extra complication because they need to see each other - but they barely speak and it always seems awkward. I have volunteered to let them have alone time, but the decisions that are being made behind the scenes (make them leave their house of 57 years for a nursing home, sell the cabin they built, donate their vehicles, etc.) make it even worse.
In my household, I continue to carefully observe my clinically depressed mid 20s son. He is seeing a psychiatrist and is on meds that seem to actually help - it is the first time he has stayed on meds for more than just a few weeks. He is working; but I wonder for how long - he tends to quit jobs after just a few weeks.
My 16 year old son has had a headache nearly everyday since January 7. He is on the maximum dose of Topamax (called dopamax by many) which hasn't helped his headache at all. All it has done is impair him. I have to look for things in odd places - things in the freezer that should be in the pantry, etc. He wants to get his license, but struggles to drive with the impairment from the drugs. We will be scheduling him for a nerve block sometime in August where he will recieve lidocaine injections at the base of his brain. I hope it helps, but is scares me to death. I don't like the thought of the potential consequences.
My daughter has joined color guard and I am pleased that she is expanding her high school experience and is part of a team. She can't play sports anymore due to her arm injury and so this is a good thing. I will be transporting her to multiple practices and games, but a parent does what she has to....
And then there is work. On Friday is the biggest volunteer event that I work on - a free day for the Senior Citizens at our county fair. I am struggling to keep up with everything - but once it is over, I will have a two month break from volunteer work. Much needed. Work itself is crazy as we add two new staff members that require training and oversight. One replaces an employee that left in June, and the other is intended to help me cut my weekly hours from 70 or more, back to a much more reasonable 50.
Enough babbling. Off to the appointment for my parents. I feel like I am putting them in daycare or a private school. They have to pass an aptitude test prior to admittance. I pray they are on their best behavior and that this is a good day for them.
Have a great week and look for me to be logging my food again as I strive to get back on track and work through balancing working out with managing my food intake.
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