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Weight History
showing entries 41 to 45 of 52
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27 September 2013
I want to remind myself that feeling guilty and not losing weight leaves me feeling out of control, overwhelmed and weak. Taking the steps of staying on a program and doing the right things is empowering -- and a better use of energy than examining the reasons why I struggle.
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27 September 2013
Weigh-in:
278.0 lb
lost so far:
15.0 lb
still to go:
38.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 1.5 lb a week
16 August 2013
I started doing the Atkins Diet in the first half of July. I weighed about 308 when I started. On July 24,2013 I donated blood. The medical center gives free cholesterol analysis to all donors. When I donated blood in March 2013, my cholesterol was 248. After a couple weeks on Atkins my cholesterol was 189.
Weigh-in:
287.0 lb
lost so far:
6.0 lb
still to go:
47.0 lb
Diet followed 100%
(1 comment)
losing 0.9 lb a week
29 March 2013
I am writing this to increase my awareness and help me improve my behaviors.
I just weighed in again in response to the automated email message I received from fat secret. When I joined back in June 2011, I weighed 293. Now I weigh 305. This is not progress!
I can think of two reasons why losing weight has been difficult for me.
The first reason is lack of time. Like many people I am too busy to devote the energy and focus to losing weight which are necessary for me to be successful. I resent having to spend time and energy on losing weight -- it seems like other people don't need to -- but knowing myself I know I will only succeed if I put more time and effort into the project.
One of the best diets I was ever on was Jenny Craig. They gave me a menu each week which contained a shopping list of ingredients necessary to make the recipes on the menu. I ate a healthy diet and hardly ever threw fresh produce away due to spoilage. The only problem with this method was it involved work -- to shop for the ingredients and to prepare the recipes. A fast food drive-up window is more convenient, tastier, and more satisfying because it fills me up. It would take me time to try and assemble the menu and the ingredients list on my own, which Jenny Craig used to provide, and I don't want to do all the work. I keep hoping it won't be necessary. I think I am in denial.
The other reason losing weight is hard for me is due to my mixed feelings about losing weight. On the one hand my blood pressure is 150/90 which is higher than 120/80 which is ideal. My cholesterol is probably too high. I don't have diabetes, but I am putting myself at risk and diabetes scares me. As a result, I feel guilty and stressed out when I think about possible health issues. If I could lose even 10-20 pounds I could improve my risk factors.
On the other hand, there are advantages to being a big guy. It's a defense to be imposing, and I feel stronger when I am bigger. Momentum is mass multiplied by acceleration, so when the mass is larger the momentum is greater. In some ways I like the way I look when I am fat. I don't like my double chin and my clothes that are too tight, but I like having a thick neck and I like having physical presence. I see doctors who are the proper weight according to the medical charts and I think, "yes, you will live to be 100, but you look kind of sickly and puny to me." I don't want to look like that.
My body always seemed flawed to me. Even when I was skinnier I gave up too much muscle and never got rid of all the fat. It's not like losing weight will make me happy with my body.
What I want is to improve my behaviors by being aware of my actions to improve gradually.
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29 March 2013
Weigh-in:
304.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
64.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 0.3 lb a week
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