bevigaby's Journal, 22 April 2019

Why are you allowing your mother to take control of your weight loss goals? 

You could replace the pair of donuts with intense workouts 

Hang in there Bev. You got this!!!  

Yes rosio you are right, I should exercise to calm the anxiety. lately I have a hard time because I'm a bit depressed and in the end I end up on the couch in front of the TV. I have to cheer up a bit 🙃 

Kenna the theme with my mom is something that I must overcome I know, but it is so hard ☹️. This time it was so serious the matter with my mother that I had to block her on the mobile, and on social networks to be able to rest from her toxicity ... 

I cut off contact from my mother 8 years ago. It was the hardest and best thing I ever did. I'm not saying you need to do that, but it wasn't the end of the world.  

It took me a very long time to understand that just because you give birth to someone, or are someone’s daughter that it does not mean that relationship must continue in perpetuity if it is not a happy one and you add something to each other’s lives. In adulthood, love, respect and a place at the table needs to be earned. It doesn’t mean you have to cut it off completely but it does mean that you can build the wall and control the key to the gate. As an adult— you need to take control of this relationship and not allow yourself to be manipulated. And, toughen up a bit. Life can be a bitch. People only do to you what you allow them to. You can do this. You cannot de compensate every time you are in conflict with someone you care about. 

I also cut off my biological mother and my stepmother. Biological because I didn’t trust her stepmonster because she beat my sister and I but not her children. I decided I don’t need that crap in my life. They are both passed but I say a prayer for their souls. 

I'm so sorry you didn't have the loving, nurturing relationship with your mother you deserved. I had that problem with my father, but my mother was everything I could have asked for. Even when she lost her memory at 92, the year before she died, she always knew me and loved me. And I loved her. 

Mothers can be toxic and unknowingly destroy the relationships. I attribute it alot to their age and not thinking before speaking. Then when you point out what is happening the justification begins. I recently said to my mom.... stop wishing I lived closer it only upsets you when I have to tell you it is not going to happen. Then she cries.....I reminded her I wished for a sister all my childhood and it drove my parents nuts and I was left in my room crying many times. The roles are reversed I am the adult and she is the child.