Eringiffin's Journal, 21 June 2012

Still had trouble getting enough to eat yesterday. I have been so busy trying to juggle work with taking care of the dog and getting the house ready for company, etc. etc. I have officially stalled in my weight loss, I am sure due to not eating enough food. I have been getting my water in but no walks. Trying again today to get the right foods and the right amount of them into my body before 8 p.m.

I think Princess has finally turned a corner. I added rice boiled with chicken broth to what I was feeding her and it seems to be helping! Tomorrow will be her last day on the steroid.

Sometimes I feel like there is a number hovering over my head that everyone can see... 260 lbs. Why does my weight have to define me? I am a generally easy going person. I feel accomplished and satisfied with almost every other aspect of my life. But, for some reason, I have this paranoia that the only thing people see about me is my weight.

I have come so far, I've lost more weight now than I have ever lost on previous diets, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see only a "before" picture. I just have to grit my teeth and stick to this, I knew it wasn't going to be easy or quick. Now that the new-ness of trying to lose weight has passed, it's kind of annoying to have to keep at it. It's less fun when I am not losing weight every day, too. I am ticked off at my body for fighting my efforts to lose weight. I want to get a whip and starting beating my body like a medieval monk to get it to behave. Except, A... it would hurt and B... it wouldn't help.

This process is teaching me patience and perseverance (whether I want them or not). I can't give up now. I already feel so much better now than when I started. I want to push on to gain even more benefits.

Diet Calendar Entry for 21 June 2012:
964 kcal Fat: 49.58g | Prot: 103.73g | Carb: 35.29g.   Lunch: ham lunch meat, turkey lunch meat, american cheese, greek dressing, romaine lettuce, cucumber, mushrooms. Dinner: prime rib, lobster, cucumber, lettuce, Free Italian Fat Free Dressing, zucchini, butter, bell pepper. Snacks/Other: Arizona Jack. more...
on diet Eringiffin's own diet  

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