kingkeld's Journal, 30 April 2012

I'm well on my way back to the "good place". This weekend gave me quite a hiccup in my weigh-ins - but what a fun ride it has been! It did come with a price tag on it though, and with a mental penalty. More about that later.

So, the concert Friday night was SO MUCH FUN! We played at a big 40th birthday party, and people were fun - they were getting into it, dancing, drinking, partying, and we got to be the entertainment! What more could you want? We had pretty good sound, something we're still learning to make, and I think we had a pretty good amount of energy. People really liked it, we were told. :)

For the first time, we upped the setlist to THREE sets. We're not playing three times 45 minutes - not bad for a band who's only been playing together for one year, I should say. The goal is to create a fourth set, so we can do three hours of entertainment. That'd be pretty cool.

So, I was home Saturday morning at 2 AM. At 7 AM, the alarm went off, and Wife and I were on the train to Copenhagen at 8:11 AM. I was TIRED, but hanging in there.

We didn't have too much of a plan going in there, other than that I wanted to look at a new blu-ray player, as the old one had given out on us. We use the player to watch TV-shows also, long live online technology, so no blu-ray means no TV-shows. This will not do in our household, so this was top priority.

We ended up buying a Panasonic, with tons of cool features. A favorite is that it's connectible to the Internet and will play Internet radio. Nice. Now I don't need cables to connect my laptop.

After purchasing it, we went for a little lunch at a Turkish buffet. We did very reasonable there, as I told Wife that we were gonna have a nice dinner out later. The lunch basically consisted of one plate of food each. It wasn't hard to restrict ourselves at all, knowing that more (and better) food would come later. :)

So, after lunch, we went to a hobby store for Wife. She needed some colors for a project she's doing. She's creating these AMAZING dolls, and she is doing a Dias De La Muerta themed one. I can't wait to see it! She's got some amazing skills, Wife. She keeps impressing me.

Being done with all the shopping, I had a little surprise for Wife. Here in our little town, there is only one movie theater, and it sucks. It's hot, old, not well-aircontitioned, and generally not a joy.

Obviously we don't go to the movies here. We watch them at home on the big screen.

Wife had mentioned that she'd love to watch the Avengers movie that just came out. So I had booked tickets for the afternoon show, at the coolest movie theater in all of Denmark. It's a very stylish, classic theater, but the one that is by far the most state-of-the-art movie theater in Denmark (and then some). It's a 1200 seater, and it's frickin' huge!

So we went, and saw The Avengers. Both Wife and I loved it - it was so much fun. If you're in any way into the whole super hero thing that's going on in the recent movies, then this is a MUST SEE!

After the movies, we were debating a little what to have for dinner. We settled on a steak house with a ribs buffet. We don't really get ribs here in Denmark - it's not a tradition like it is in the US and many other places. I miss beef ribs like crazy - I used to eat them all the time during the years I lived in Texas.

So we found a place here, and much to my surprise it wasn't just port that was on the buffet. They had some very reasonable quality beef ribs.

I probably had too many. I really didn't care. And that's probably the main reason for my ridiculously high weigh-in yesterday.

The weigh-in today is much better, though still high. I fought hard all day yesterday to not snack, and it was limited to a home made smoothie, which is just milk, frozen fruit and sweetener. No biggie. I ended up way low on calories, but I figured it's okay after a weekend of indulgences.

I didn't get much sleep though. I was over-tired when we came home from Copenhagen, and I couldn't sleep. I spend half the night setting up the blu-ray player and getting it all working. I am very particular about sound and settings and learning all the details of what it can do, so I spent several hours doing this while Wife was sleeping.

Two nights with about 3-4 hours of proper sleep.

Then there was last night. Not much better. I am stressing over work again. This makes me NOT able to sleep. I try to focus on my breathing when I lie there, and most times it helps me falling asleep. But my thoughts were nagging at me too hard to be pushed aside, and I am really suffering this morning. So tired, so stressed, and worried for a bunch of my cases. I need to get situated on them again, need to know what's going on so I can rest. I need some piece of mind.

Today I have so much work, so much typing and evaluation - it's ridiculous. It's gonna be a tough day, I think. I hope I make it though it in one piece.

Something stress related happened this morning that I have never had before, and this really worries me. I had a small "hissy fit", I just couldn't handle everything. It was like everything just went wrong. My eggs didn't boil right. My can of tuna that I opened to make lunch opened wrong so it was all a mess. The coffee machine screwed up and I had coffee everywhere. It probably was just me being super tired and not doing right, but eventually I just had enough. I threw out ALL my food, breakfast, lunch, the whole thing. I had it almost done, too! Then I sat down and just stared at the floor for a moment. Damn.

This is NOT something I want to experience on a regular basis.

I'm not sure what did me in - is it the lack of sleep (three nights with just a few hours is simply not enough for me) or is it work, or is it both?

I think that I stress more about work when I don't sleep. I have too much time where I can lie there and worry about it. I have too much time for thoughts about it, at times where I can't do anything.

I need to get situated, and I will. I hope I can do this soon. Stress is a bitch, and she's NOT welcome.

Phew. That was quite a handful, huh? From all the fun and games in the world, to the deep dark place that makes Kingkeld angry. "You won't like me when I'm angry". At least, that's what The Hulk says. I'm glad I don't turn into a huge green bundle of rage. :) However, that incident this morning DID scare me. I feel that I lost control, and I do not like losing control.

It makes today seems really hard to get through. It started off bad, and as much as I am generally positive about things, today just seems really hard to get through.

Today, I'm thankful for:
- Having Wife around me at work. Just knowing that she's there will make me feel that it's all gonna be okay. I love her so much.
- Weight coming down more than 1 kg since yesterday.
- Having this journal to let out so many thoughts.
- YOU if you read all this! :) I'm impressed!

Wow. It was actually HARD to make a "Thankful list" today. I'm just not that positive right now, though I try to be. Like I said, I'm sleepy and grumpy.

Anyways, please have a better day than the one I'm having. That shouldn't be too hard to accomplish. Sometimes, like days like today, it can be hard to see it, but rest assured - Life IS good. :)
179.7 lb Lost so far: 162.0 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

Diet Calendar Entries for 30 April 2012:
1326 kcal Fat: 32.34g | Prot: 98.69g | Carb: 164.20g.   Breakfast: Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Egg, Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie). Lunch: Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Pita Bread, Chicken (Skin Not Eaten). Dinner: Picadillo. Snacks/Other: Smarties, cookie. more...
3011 kcal Activities & Exercise: Standing - 7 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Sitting - 7 hours and 10 minutes, Desk Work - 1 hour and 10 minutes. more...
on diet kingkeld's own diet   losing 18.5 lb a week


Sometimes I feel EXACTLY like this. I think it was all about the sleep-dep that messed you around, and I think having a big vent, even if it was just at your food, was prolly really healthy! Get it out of your system, and then move on. I tend to stew about things for AGES, and if pre-existing stressful things are exascerbated by sleep-dep, I just dwell on it FOREVER and it poisons me. Purging out all the frustration and then getting some sleep will always be the best way to deal, I think! I'm supergrumpy today, but on my list of things to be thankful for is "knowing I'm not the only person getting stressed and/or frustrated". It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one. =) AND the ribs sound AMAZING. 
29 Apr 12 by member: ferlengheti
I think it's definitely lack of sleep, Keld. I hope the stress of work will dissipate or at least be put in perspective when you get home so you can get a real night's sleep, 
30 Apr 12 by member: Helewis
Thanks, Sophie. I needed that. I think I'm gonna exercise HARD tonight, just to wear myself out. It's better than punching the cat. :) 
30 Apr 12 by member: kingkeld
Lack of sleep, makes you short tempered and not so effective. It is a viscous circle. Lack of sleep, leads to you not being so effective, at work or home, which leads to stress, which leads to insomnia. You DEFINATELY need to jump of that circle Keld. Once you realise what's happening, you CAN overcome it, focus is the key :-)  
30 Apr 12 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
Hang in there pal! I had issues last night with my attitude too. Lack of sleep is likely the culprit. It sounds like you had an awesome weekend! After my hangover Friday, I could tell I was lazy, could not think right, and had an attitude. It almost takes a few days to straighten out. 
30 Apr 12 by member: posterchild66
Im on the lack of sleep train this week too... is it the moon?! It makes me short tempered w my babies and I HATE that. I see it in my beloved hubby too, he is super pissy when over tired. Cheers to getting some much needed rest to us all.  
30 Apr 12 by member: sarahduke
That sucks, especially after a fun weekend. When your day starts like that, you just want to crawl back into bed. Go to bed early and get some sleep - that will make everything better. 
30 Apr 12 by member: mlb98
Lack of sleep can really play with your emotions. Be restful this evening(after exercise, LOL)! 
30 Apr 12 by member: jessabridge4444
Next time try sitting and staring at the floor first! It might save breakfast (we all need a time out sometimes!) Don't worry, it must the stress and lack of sleep...just don't take it out on the food! 
30 Apr 12 by member: JenKatja
I heard that Kingkeld. I feel you on the not being positive today. What I relly need is a good workout but I'm stuck at work. but life IS good. You are right my friend! I'm just trying to keep that in mind today :) Hope you feel better! 
30 Apr 12 by member: bmccrary
Didn't someone say they recite "99 bottles of beer on the wall" if they can't sleep, only they start at 999 so they don't get to the end and get frustrated that they are still awake. Could be worth a try...Hang in there buddy! 
30 Apr 12 by member: tglenna
I've been getting very little sleep lately myself and I really do believe that can cause a person to lose it. I hope you are able to catch up on rest.I suppose it sounds a little bit "woowoo" but as I approach a full moon -next one is on the 6th- I feel a bit less relaxed and definitely sleep seems more elusive. Here's to staying in control and feeling fine! 
30 Apr 12 by member: joyfulgirl
Oh, I've counted SO many bottles of beer lately, but it didn't help. My mind was simply TOO preoccupied with other things, and I wasn't able to put them away. I've done better last night though. Slept like a rock.  
01 May 12 by member: kingkeld


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