kingkeld's Journal, 01 May 2012

Welcome back. Blue Bar. You were sorely missed.

I feel MUCH better this morning. I slept like a rock last night - only 6 hours or so, but much better than nothing at all. I feel refreshed and pretty much good to go.

Today is an easy day at work - it's half bank holiday today, so we're out at noon. Nice. I promised Wife to take her out for lunch, and spend the afternoon with her. I want to take her somewhere a little nicer than what we usually do, but I want to not compromise on my calories. I hope I can pull it off. I can always compensate on dinner, have something light then. It'll work out.

Yesterday I was nerding my new Blu-Ray player. I got it all set up, to play network files and all kinds of things. Super nice. I can now simply stream movies and music from my laptop directly to the Blu-Ray player, no cables or anything. No transferring files to USB drives and all that. I can now just go online on the player and view what I have. I can go online and listen to internet radio. I can watch news, movie trailers, and so much more. This is really neat, and I'm glad that I spent the time figuring it out. I think it'll be so much worth it.

Today, it looks like it'll be a nice day to be outside for a little bit. The sun is already shining at 6:30 AM, and it looks like it'll be out all day. I hope I can convince Wife to go for a walk with me. She's getting a hair cut, and I hope she'll be up for going somewhere after that and lunch. I'd like that.

Yesterday, I did great on the calories again, in terms that I was low in an attempt to knock down my weight to where I want to be. I've been too heavy for some days, even getting back in the "green ticker zone". Not good. So now I'm back in blue, and happy about it. Now I just need to get closer to 77 kgs again, and I'll be satisfied.

I think I can get somewhat closer throughout the week. I do have a few challenges, though:

1. I don't want to go TOO low on my calories. I am supposed to be maintaining, not losing weight. However, I'm too heavy, and this means that I need to lose some of the weight. I gotta do it right, though.

2. Half a bank holiday today means going home early. It means going out a little. This often means treat. Just say no, Keld. Just say no. :)

3. Friday is another holiday here in Denmark. This is another day at home with no work to distract me from grazing. I gotta be strong and do this right.

4. Saturday will NOT be any kind of Indulgence Day. I'll have to stay within my 2000 calories. The reason for this is:

5. Massive party at my brother's house on Sunday. He turns 50, and it's my nephew's confirmation. Double party, live music, free food equals calorie trouble! I hope I can do good there - it'll be a challenge, but I'm up for it.

There is so little time until my surgery, and I'm not happy with the huge fluctuations I see. I blame myself for them - it's all about self control. I know I can do it, I just don't always care. I get comfortable, and start slacking, since "I know I can lose it fast again if I gain". I need to get away from that mindset. It's one of those that can easily lead to trouble further down the road.

I'd like to be much more stabile than this when I go into surgery. This means a lot to me, I want to be healthy and strong and NOT losing weight when they cut me. Losing weight takes away the "building blocks" that I need to recover my body from surgery - so it's important that I'm at a stabile weight and that I've been it for a while.

That being said, I don't think a few kgs are any kind of trouble. We all fluctuate and it will happen over and over again. However, too much will be too much, so I gotta see if I can restrict it a little bit and just do good.

The trouble for me is that I want more if I start on a little bit of bad. I need that switch that tells me that "one will do" so I can just enjoy what I had and stop at that. I hate that it's like that.

I do think I'm getting better at it - but it's still hard to control, and it's so hard to say no, once I'm in that mindset. It's not impossible, though - I've done it so many times though the whole journey. But "being done" has changed that game for me, I think, and I need to change it back. I know what I need to be doing, I just don't do it with the dedication that I need. But I do it when I have to. I do it when I see the weight climbing, like this last weekend. Sunday and Monday I've had NO trouble controlling it. I am on my mission, I focus and I do it. Then, when I see that it's under control is when I start slacking and going back to the trouble zone. I think the key here is to realize that I am NOT done. That I am NOT out of the trouble yet. That I will never be out of the trouble. That I have to keep doing good, keep doing right. If I snack, then make it limited. That's what thin people do - or they wouldn't be thin. :)

Today I'm thankful for:
- feeling MUCH better!
- half a day off from work!
- kitty cat (HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTY CAT!)
- a nice cup of coffee while journaling
- the outlook to a new, wonderful day

As you can tell, I'm feeling much better than yesterday. Today's gonna be a good day. Life is good!

178.1 lb Lost so far: 163.6 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

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1991 kcal

Fat: 87.07g | Prot: 109.58g | Carb: 204.91g.   Breakfast: Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Egg. Lunch: Pickled Red Cabbage, Light Mayonnaise, Nakkekam med svær, Seeded burger buns. Dinner: Carrots, White Potatoes (Flesh and Skin), Turkey Breast Meat. Snacks/Other: drys-let, whole milk, mixed fruit, Oil Popped White Popcorn, Smarties, Free Laekkerbar, Sweet or Dark Chocolate. more...

2811 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 45 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Standing - 3 hours and 30 minutes, Sitting - 11 hours and 45 minutes. more...