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"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" - Matthew 7:3
I've added this to my quote and to my signature. I have spent the past 4 years watching my hubby and being critical, supportive, and even ignoring his short comings and his successes, and have completely ignored my own. My balance is off.
Things I've noticed, whether from age or weight (probably the latter) - above my ankles, it sometimes is warm to the touch, sometimes swollen, sometimes painful. This concerns me. I'm pretty sure it's due to my weight and possibly due to I have twisted both ankles this past year, thus feel like they are weaker than they used to be. My left tricep is still a knot -- if you touch it, you can feel it. The right tricep is not the same. I had shooting pain in my right forearm the other day when I had WAY too much Vitamin B (forgot that my protein shake had it, took my multivitamin, + energy drink + mucinex....really not smart) - and the mucinex was a time release,so though I experienced it a good bit during the day, it was less and less intense.
I am unmotivated to portion control. I am unmotivated not to eat 85% of the day even when not hungry. I woke up this morning to a nightmare. My balance is off and has been off kilter for oh about 4 years it seems. I am disappointed in my behavior. Yet....not enough to really do something about it. Yet my body seems to be giving me a heads up...and still....wth????
Watched OUAT last night and the Evil Queen learned who she hated the most was herself. I am not at the point where I hate myself. I just really don't like myself. And it's really kind of challenging to be successful in other areas/aspects of your life when you don't like yourself. And for me, the whole gaining weight, being lazy, watching movies all the time,....it's pretty obvious to the outside world I think. Even when I think I'm hiding it all so well. Ostrich in the sand. I've had more of these moments where I acknowledge, yet do not do anything about it. Or I start to do something about it, and then fail, reverting back to my old bad habits.
Matthew 7:3-> that verse hit me yesterday. And I cannot even say it's due to something I heard at church. More like God knocking me upside the head with it.
Lost in a labyrinth...
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