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This might be a little personal but I've got to get it out there. Ever since I found out my husband is cheating on me I've sorta fallen off the wagon. It really doesn't bother me that he is cheating since we are getting a divorce anyway. What bothers me is that the girl he is cheating on me with is bigger than I ever was! Now I'm not saying that looks or weight mean everything cause they don't. But how could he say that I'm fat and ugly and will never find another man so I batter stay with him and then date this girl? I'm not sure why this has affected my motivation but really has! My dearest friend thinks that turning the weight loss into a competition will help get me back on track. But I don't think so. I'll be happy that she has lost the weight but I'll be even more devistated if I don't. I think I need some advise from someone who doesn't want to compete with me.
I have roughly 35 more pounds to go before I hit my goal of 150. But every time I step on that scale that number keeps getting farther and farther away! Any words of wisdom would be greatly welcomed! Thank you =)
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My ex cheated on me before I lost my weight. I didn't find out about it until almost 9 months later. I was pissed. I was almost as mad at him that he was cheating with a married woman that had kids as I was that he cheated on me.
The best moment for me was when I saw him about a year after the divorce. I was dating a new guy who had helped me drive the kids to visit my ex. I had lost an additional 30 lbs from when we seperated and I looked good. Meanwhile he had gained about the same and lost a lot of hair.
He doesn't matter, a competition doesn't matter, losing weight doesn't matter; what does matter is that you feel good about you. Find something you love that you have done and praise yourself, make yourself get out into the world again and meet new people, or lock yourself in your room for a couple of hours and just read a book. Do what makes you feel good.
28 Dec 10 by member: harringtonkt
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I'm not going to encourage you to slip off the wagon, but sometimes we do need a little time to cope. And when that time is over you can look at yourself and say, "Hey, I'm better than this." It's nice that your friend wants to help motivate you, but maybe right now you'd do better with positive encouragement instead of a competition that ends with someone 'losing.'
Just remember what it is that makes you want to get healthy. And do this for that. Because everything else that doesn't matter to you isn't going to motivate you at all.
28 Dec 10 by member: kziemianski
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Any man who would tell the person that he is supposed to love that she is "fat and ugly" has serious issues. It can destroy a person's self-esteem. You need to concentrate on you. Don't worry about him or what he is doing (though I know it's hard). Focus on you and (your kids if you have any). Losing weight and exercise will give you self-confidence to go out in the world and achieve things you have always wanted to. It will also show you that you are worth so much more and there will be someone out there who loves and appreciates your worth.
28 Dec 10 by member: Suzi161
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